Avice for women who have lost
Alright so the title sounds morbid, not catchy.
But I felt compelled to post my thoughts on women and sexuality after reading the comments left on a post by Future Ex-Wife. As a precursor I just want to say... I love that blog, truly.
As I read the post, I thought to myself "Good god, she's in touch... that's great!" However, then she added that she would marry and some day have children... even cooler. I hit the comments tab to add my two cents and give her a high-five... then I read the two comments already in the section.
I became deeply disturbed.
"I was that girl once until I got married and had children"
History: I am divorced, remarried, two children.. one from each marriage.
More history: My first marriage failed. This I did not understand.. I figured that once I was married with children it was time to "settle down" and become the PTA mom, the mini-van driving soccer parent that dotes over their child like a trophy. No need to be kinky, or sexual... I have what I need... I will be responsible, honest, and almost prudent.
Bad, bad, bad.
Boring and sex should never ever ever be in the same sentence, much less the same paragraph.
I began to make excuses, and went to bed earlier... bad choice to shun my sexuality.
More history but more interesting: When I met my now husband, I had a 4 year old child, a renewed independance, and a need to release my caged sexual being. He is very much a scorpio, and I am very much a Taurus.. the stars were against us, but proclaimed that as long as we could keep up with each other in the bedroom, we would be a great team.
We proved that point by having sex everywhere, anywhere, and abundantly. Eventually marrying 4 years later... I have never found a better partner in somebody, even married with children.
Even though this slowed as the second child came into the picture, we still continued to practice good sexual health... taking breaks when we needed to (sleep deprived or healing). But once the little one was grown enough to sleep through the night, we decided it was time to get back on task. And so, what was once a simmer while pregnant and tired, communication lapsed, arguements ensued.... Became hotter than ever, we walk together holding hands, he tells me how wonderful I am... we have great outings together and we are best friends ultimately.
Getting to the point: It doesn't matter what age you are, how many children you have, or how undesirable you believe you appear (us women tend to be too critical of ourselves); sex with your partner is the most important activity that you can enjoy together. After all, you were having great sex before you were married with children... why stifle it now? It's perfect exercise, and keeps you healthy mentally.... truly it is proven.
I am a responsible parent, always putting my children and my career first. I would never jepordize my family in anyway for sex, I am not an adulterer or a pervert. I am a healthy ordinary woman in her 30's... I am a highly sexual being, and a soccer mom. I like to practice all my kinky habits with husband only (besides that hot hot fucking redhead, which husband knows about... that's a whole nother post).
As such, when kids go to bed or are at a friends/grandparents...we switch on the animal instinct and get crazy... I'm a hot mom slut now... and I am happier than ever in my marriage as the sex is just as good (if not better) in quantity and quality as it was before married and children.
Ladies, do not lose that part of yourself because you feel you aren't that person anymore.
You are that person, she's in there... and your husband is waiting to see her again. No amount of responsibility should ever take that away from you....
If you feel your marriage may be suffering for closeness, or you just don't think you have it in you to initiate this sexual re-independance in yourself I can post some top 10's to do the trick as I have been there and done that.... let me know via comments and I will be more than happy to help. And stay tuned to my blog, perhaps you will find a feeling or thought you can relate with... as a happy, healthy, overly sexual wife and mother.
Good luck with your journey!
But I felt compelled to post my thoughts on women and sexuality after reading the comments left on a post by Future Ex-Wife. As a precursor I just want to say... I love that blog, truly.
As I read the post, I thought to myself "Good god, she's in touch... that's great!" However, then she added that she would marry and some day have children... even cooler. I hit the comments tab to add my two cents and give her a high-five... then I read the two comments already in the section.
I became deeply disturbed.
"I was that girl once until I got married and had children"
History: I am divorced, remarried, two children.. one from each marriage.
More history: My first marriage failed. This I did not understand.. I figured that once I was married with children it was time to "settle down" and become the PTA mom, the mini-van driving soccer parent that dotes over their child like a trophy. No need to be kinky, or sexual... I have what I need... I will be responsible, honest, and almost prudent.
Bad, bad, bad.
Boring and sex should never ever ever be in the same sentence, much less the same paragraph.
I began to make excuses, and went to bed earlier... bad choice to shun my sexuality.
More history but more interesting: When I met my now husband, I had a 4 year old child, a renewed independance, and a need to release my caged sexual being. He is very much a scorpio, and I am very much a Taurus.. the stars were against us, but proclaimed that as long as we could keep up with each other in the bedroom, we would be a great team.
We proved that point by having sex everywhere, anywhere, and abundantly. Eventually marrying 4 years later... I have never found a better partner in somebody, even married with children.
Even though this slowed as the second child came into the picture, we still continued to practice good sexual health... taking breaks when we needed to (sleep deprived or healing). But once the little one was grown enough to sleep through the night, we decided it was time to get back on task. And so, what was once a simmer while pregnant and tired, communication lapsed, arguements ensued.... Became hotter than ever, we walk together holding hands, he tells me how wonderful I am... we have great outings together and we are best friends ultimately.
Getting to the point: It doesn't matter what age you are, how many children you have, or how undesirable you believe you appear (us women tend to be too critical of ourselves); sex with your partner is the most important activity that you can enjoy together. After all, you were having great sex before you were married with children... why stifle it now? It's perfect exercise, and keeps you healthy mentally.... truly it is proven.
- It's great for weightloss... both husband and I have lost intense amounts of weight, and cardiovascularly are healthier than ever.
- Your hair will become more shiny, and your skin will glow thanks to the pheremones you're emitting.
- You will smile more often, easier, and have a more positive outlook since the pleasure centers of your brain are stimulated.... your problem solving skills are enhanced as well.
I am a responsible parent, always putting my children and my career first. I would never jepordize my family in anyway for sex, I am not an adulterer or a pervert. I am a healthy ordinary woman in her 30's... I am a highly sexual being, and a soccer mom. I like to practice all my kinky habits with husband only (besides that hot hot fucking redhead, which husband knows about... that's a whole nother post).
As such, when kids go to bed or are at a friends/grandparents...we switch on the animal instinct and get crazy... I'm a hot mom slut now... and I am happier than ever in my marriage as the sex is just as good (if not better) in quantity and quality as it was before married and children.
Ladies, do not lose that part of yourself because you feel you aren't that person anymore.
You are that person, she's in there... and your husband is waiting to see her again. No amount of responsibility should ever take that away from you....
If you feel your marriage may be suffering for closeness, or you just don't think you have it in you to initiate this sexual re-independance in yourself I can post some top 10's to do the trick as I have been there and done that.... let me know via comments and I will be more than happy to help. And stay tuned to my blog, perhaps you will find a feeling or thought you can relate with... as a happy, healthy, overly sexual wife and mother.
Good luck with your journey!
posted by Everything Nice at 8:14 AM
7 Comments:
LOL... I love you man.
Though, I will not ask you to sing cumbaya around the campfire...
Ummm.. probably for the same reason I was hooked on the Anna Nicole show for so long.
Sometimes we need trash to appreciate to truly trashy stuff..
Capiche?
I must admit, I would love to have watched it even more now that she's lost 80+ pounds, and give it a late night R rating...
yep. frothing.
No no no, not hot. And adding her history into the picture definetly gag material. However, it would make for some interesting late night viewing.
I agree with you on that, and are equally as uncomfortable in agreement.
Anybody that would like to comment on this topic should be free to do so.
As it appears either Murph is my biggest fan, or... he's got alot of time on his hands.
Bless his heart.
Please somebody impress me with a comment on this.
First: if you are asking for comments on what you wrote in the latest post, I am confused at your comment on your first marriage. It sounds like you are accepting a portion of the blame for your ex-husband's lack of interest in sex with you... and ultimately contributing to what lead to the end of your marriage. I think this is not what you'd intended to convey in that statement.
If he was some drugged out uninvolved mutherfucker then fuck whatever intimacy and sex life you woulda, coulda had... he needed to get his shit straight. Hopefully he is sober now and since you say you have a kid with him, he plays a role in his kid's life. If he still is some stoner needle jockey or tweaker breakin' into my shit to steal to get proceeds for another hit, then screw him and your kid is better off without him.
Second: Your current spouse seems to have a good deal definately, however, I ponder whether you get your cake and eat it too, as you have indicated you recently your encounters with the redhead, yet imply he is merely content to continue having great sex with you and doesn't care to follow his own sexual energy where it takes him. He must be the most sexually contented bastard there is and you should have a bronzed vagina... I don't know of many guys who would let you play around and not be a bit ticked, especially if you wouldn't share.
You may say, well, he has no interest in same sex forays of his own. Well, fine. But this to me isn't an issue about gender, it's about what he's attracted to and what you're attracted to. You're attracted to this redhead and he may be too... or her friend. You wrote awhile back about only black and white and no gray areas in regards to this kind of stuff. You are frimly straddling more than the redhead; you are sitting firmly on the gray area. You could be putting him in a position where he could feel held back while you are more or less able to run free. You state this blog is for free expression of your sexual being and desires... he (if he's smart) is not going to say "let me have a crack at your redhead friend". Yet this my be very well what he is interested in doing or perhaps with other females. You should be accepting of his desires as he is of yours.
Once in the open, you cannot put things back in Pandora's Box, but you might want to let hubby stick his dick in her box while you suck her tits?
Lastly, these are comments, NOT criticisms. I just don't know how I would react if my partner wanted to work it with someone outside our relationship and I did not have the same flexibility.
-- Not a prude
I am confused by your statement these are comments, not criticisms.
Sounds alot like criticisms to me, and though your criticisms are being taken in stride, you have to remember that not alot of people feel the way you do about "flexibilty."
He has expressed no desire to be flexible as well as this has been discussed over and over again.
You may not be a prude, but you are also not so open minded. If husband were upset, I would nix involvement definetly. Furthermore, if he did express needs to participate.. that would be considered as I would never deprive husband of a need.
For now, the only wish or want husband has expressed would be a video tape. And that, I can and will provide.
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