Viewing Garbage

In my vein attempt to re-direct my perverted mind I have decided (reluctantly) to pay more attention to the variety of television garbage: i.e. re-runs and bad reality tv. Being that it is just before the onset of season premieres (most of them being this week), we are fed "fillers" to tie us over. Of course there are some exceptions to this rule; football, the daily show, The first 48. Don't forget Cold case files (A&E).

I used to be into the whole re-decorating show thing on the home tv network, but that turned costly and redundant as I ran out of rooms to fix up.

I look really fucking hot covered in saw dust strewn about by the compound miter saw... Even better covered in paint...
I'll let you go on with that thought.

Yes, I'm waiting.... Wanna borrow my gigi?

Anyway.
I am anticipating the re-birth of my shows in this 05-06 season.
CSI of course; I only watch Las Vegas and New York though... Miami makes me grit my teeth. Normally I have the whole thing figured out in the first 5 minutes of the shows. Then I tell my husband all about who did it and why... he gets upset... blah blah blah.

What's scary is that I am rather erilie familiar with the crime scene forensics. Of course you know a real crime scene is nothing like that... and never do the forensic technicians ever solve a case.
In the past I dabbled a little in the art of forensics and crime scene documentation, so I am a little familiar with what they're doing (plus I have lots of manuals and forensic guides).

It's an interesting and bearly tolerable profession... if I had a choice I would be doing it right now. But family is most important and the late nights, missed birthdays and anniversaries does not bode well with my life plan. But it's morbid that I read and re-read my manuals and guides over and over again to stay fresh.
What's even more morbid is the fact that I knew approximately how long my grandfather had been dead before I said good-bye to him that morning... because he had already hit riggor.

Good. My boner's gone.

Next show on the agenda? Survivor. Yes, I am a survivor fan... but it's not to watch Jeff Probst, believe me. I have watched almost every season like a bad religion; it is the only reality television show I can still accomodate and enjoy (without guilt).

I must admit though, I choked and gagged throughout the whole Rob and Amber season... and almost stopped watching. BARF.

Something about them making googlie-eyes at each other all season just spoiled the whole show. Listen, if I wanted to watch love connection, I turn the channel to Nick at Nite and dig-on old Chuck Woolery.

No, I watch Survivor for it's competitive sport, grouchy people, and idiots...
Like Ian for example last season, who pussied-out and gave up his spot in the final two for Katies friendship. Give me a fucking break... what were you thinking man?!? I mean, come on, did Katie call you after the show? Did she?
Was it worth it? Did you get some for that or what?
My money says he didn't, and he's back to training dolphins.
Anyway... it was a major downer and I almost killed my dammit doll because of it.

Truly, it is interesting to see what happens to a group of diverse semi/normal people deprived of food, water, and resources... stuck with no interruption together. Cat fights and alpha males, that's what. Dig it.

And then of course there is the new season of The First 48. This is my all time favorite. If Tivo were to miss this one I would fucking hammer the holy living hell out of it with a pick axe. If any of you have a chance to catch this one, and are not afraid of a little major reality, by all means check it out.
I personally make time to watch this. It's my thing.

On another note, a couple of people have asked about the type of surgery I had. I'm not telling you exactly...

But I will re-affirm the fact that I did not get lip collagen, breast implants, butt implants or botox... and definetly not a sex change, I happen to like my vagina (and so do a couple of others). Although, I wonder what it's like to have a dick. That would be really cool to find out.

In lieu of having one, I am asking my beloved male readers to explain what it's like to have a penis. Don't be shy... we know you like to talk about it.

For the women readers, I know what it's like when we get one.. but what do you think it's like to have one?

It should be interesting to hear what you come up with on this one... come up with?!?!?
Get it!?!?!?
I slay me.

Dammit, now I've gone and gotten myself all hot and bothered again.