"Muffin - No sleep tonight"

Quoted from the immortal words of husband via comment on one of my posts concerning the delicate altercation yesterday.

What did this mean exactly? Per the rest of his comment I wondered if perhaps the anonymous commentor stirred some new opinions in dear husband. Did "no sleep tonight" indicate a talk and perhaps a move in another direction? A stifling if you will?

-Or- was I to be spanked for mouthing off the way I did? Hence, no sleep from hurting ass?
Bother, I pondered this conundrum all day... not being able to chat with dear husband as his meetings extended most of the morning and afternoon.
*sigh - queezy stomach*

After motherly responsibilties and household chores for the evening were over, we tucked our precious children into bed... kiss on the forehead... "see you in the morning."

I was coerced into the bedroom, door locking behind me. Oh shit.

Husband sits down and pats the bed, instructing for me to sit. Oh shit again.

I sit. We begin to talk... We talked about the kids, my current job status, and the all too obvious depression I am fighting. He talked gently and sweetly, encouraging me to redirect the frustration on something other than negative things. I felt better, but my shoulders (still tense) were to ear level and my head was reeling with inappropriate thoughts about lynching myself most hastily.

"I need to ask you a question.." he looks into my eyes, now tearing... "When I read your Mojitos post and your venture with your friend..."
Here we go, I thought.. he is going to chastize me now. "Yes?" I grabbed a tissue.. dabbing at my face like an artist restoring a thousand year old painting...
"She mentioned a party..."
"Yes, she did..." I drawled.. still dabbing, but not helping.

"Did she say when it was?"

What's this? Curious husband in need of a party? My mood swang fiercly from sadness to curiousity... "This weekend, well... tomorrow night..."

"Were you going to tell me?" He looked stern, almost upset.

"I suppose I forgot... you know, I have so much shit in my head... it's difficult for me to keep it straight. I'm so fucked up right now.... I didn't think it was a priority for us to go."

Good husband looked down at the bed in disappointment, then back up into my eyes now darkened from smeared mascara.
"Don't you think you need it? To go I mean... to have a good time?"
He then smiled and handed me another tissue. "You look like a racoon.. "
I accepted the extra tissue and buried my face in it.

"No, I didn't assume you would want to go on such short notice. Besides, we would need a babysitter and I didn't plan on that..." Then it occured to me that he said you and not we.

"Wait a moment.." my eyes filled with tears again.."I wouldn't go anywhere without you... you weren't implying that I go by myself were you?"

"Absolutely not!" he scoffed... "If there's going to be a get together, I know better than to let you loose on your own...." He chuckled and caressed my face lovingly, "You need to have a good time, you need to forget about your pain... you need it." He sets down the tissue box and grabs my chin, lifting it so my racoon eyes match his gaze.. "Sweetheart, we're going."

I felt shocked... and a bit relieved in a way since I had wanted to cut loose a bit. Not so much in a sexual way, but a drunken binge sort of way. A need to let loose the surpressed bar-fly in me. He was right, I need to get skunk-ass drunk... I need to numb myself in a bad way. "What about the kids?"
"Well, thank god for grandparents... can you drop them off this afternoon, meet me at work and we will go... call your friend today and get the information we need to be there, alright?"

"Alright" I sniveled.."thanks honey."

He then reached for the remote and turned on the stereo in our room, started the CD player that began to play Mad Season; Artifical Red...
He wiped my tears lovingly, grabbed the message oil, lit the candle, and proceeded to undress me... message me.. and fuck me. All the while reminding me that he owned me, and owned me good... there is no question about it, I didn't get any sleep last night.

And that is why I call him good husband, and still testify to this day that he kicks ass.