Feedback and Taskbar
Alright so I let you decide what I would be striking off of my task bar first. Many of you voted for the next (and final) installment of "Tease." Gee, I wonder why?
I know, I know. I was just as excited about it as you were... *giggle*
Okay, consider it checked off. Here is the complete quadrilogy, the DVD box set will be out soon for purchase... Alright, how many of you are actually going to ask me to send you one?
Tease
Tease Too
Tease Three
Tease Four
In the last posts comments section, one of you asked about a friend who is having sexual communication issues with his new wife. Ummm, no dis-respect intended of course, but I have to ask a few general questions... to get the whole scenario understood.
Did he not know she was like this before marriage?
Or - did this start recently, perhaps a role change of somekind?
I know that sometimes us women no longer feel like the girlfriend sex-kitten and instead throw on the apron of "wifelyhood" when we commit to our man. And then you get the whole "A respectable wife doesn't do that"/innocence thing.
FYI- A respectable wife DOES do that... especially if she wants to keep her husband in proper operating order. And no wife is innocent... no wife.
Don't even pretend ladies.
I digress. It could be she is thinking that she's no longer sexual to him... a saltine instead of a cookie (if you will). We women do that too; "I'm not sexy, I'm your wife." That bites ass. If you're married and you think that, really? Slap yourself... HARD.
On another note, I really believe that somebody needs to be the better man/woman and step up to the plate. Your friend needs to talk about this, straight forwardly-like. With her undivided attention, and his too. Here's what I suggest:
He take her to dinner, soft candle light kinda thing. Some drinks, wine definetly.
Get through the appetizer, and before your meal (or during) have him tell her he feels there is some mis-communication, and he doesn't like to feel that "he can't openly share his feelings with her about sex." He needs to say this exactly, because it's non-directive and honest. It also makes him sound quite empathetic and human. Now, if he has said it correctly, she should say something like "About what?" Or "What do you mean?"
If she has said either of these, it's a bingo... and he's in like Flynn to tell her he desires to pick her up like a six pack. Or, whatever he finds suitable.
Basically, somebody needs to talk... loosely, and in an adult forum. You can't talk about shit like this at McDonalds playland... or worse, during Shrek.
For more about Communication as it relates to sexuality and partners, here is a link to #2 on the Sexual Mojo series. Now you know why it's so high on the list, your friend and his new wife are shining examples of how this post should be utilized and percepted.
Okay... so it's off to #2 on my directive task bar. Shew.
I know, I know. I was just as excited about it as you were... *giggle*
Okay, consider it checked off. Here is the complete quadrilogy, the DVD box set will be out soon for purchase... Alright, how many of you are actually going to ask me to send you one?
Tease
Tease Too
Tease Three
Tease Four
In the last posts comments section, one of you asked about a friend who is having sexual communication issues with his new wife. Ummm, no dis-respect intended of course, but I have to ask a few general questions... to get the whole scenario understood.
Did he not know she was like this before marriage?
Or - did this start recently, perhaps a role change of somekind?
I know that sometimes us women no longer feel like the girlfriend sex-kitten and instead throw on the apron of "wifelyhood" when we commit to our man. And then you get the whole "A respectable wife doesn't do that"/innocence thing.
FYI- A respectable wife DOES do that... especially if she wants to keep her husband in proper operating order. And no wife is innocent... no wife.
Don't even pretend ladies.
I digress. It could be she is thinking that she's no longer sexual to him... a saltine instead of a cookie (if you will). We women do that too; "I'm not sexy, I'm your wife." That bites ass. If you're married and you think that, really? Slap yourself... HARD.
On another note, I really believe that somebody needs to be the better man/woman and step up to the plate. Your friend needs to talk about this, straight forwardly-like. With her undivided attention, and his too. Here's what I suggest:
He take her to dinner, soft candle light kinda thing. Some drinks, wine definetly.
Get through the appetizer, and before your meal (or during) have him tell her he feels there is some mis-communication, and he doesn't like to feel that "he can't openly share his feelings with her about sex." He needs to say this exactly, because it's non-directive and honest. It also makes him sound quite empathetic and human. Now, if he has said it correctly, she should say something like "About what?" Or "What do you mean?"
If she has said either of these, it's a bingo... and he's in like Flynn to tell her he desires to pick her up like a six pack. Or, whatever he finds suitable.
Basically, somebody needs to talk... loosely, and in an adult forum. You can't talk about shit like this at McDonalds playland... or worse, during Shrek.
For more about Communication as it relates to sexuality and partners, here is a link to #2 on the Sexual Mojo series. Now you know why it's so high on the list, your friend and his new wife are shining examples of how this post should be utilized and percepted.
Okay... so it's off to #2 on my directive task bar. Shew.
posted by Everything Nice at 8:34 PM
7 Comments:
I just wanna say ... thanks ...
*goes looking for towel and shower myself*
Ok, I am holding off on "Tease". I need some serious alone time while reading part 4! :D
As for the man/wife issue... I can't tell hubby what I want/need either. I've tried, believe me. It's very difficult for me to do, but I HAVE tried... not always verbally, but as clearly as I can. He listens but doesn't get it. I've pretty much given up on getting what I want & need sexually from him. What do you do with a man who thinks things are "fair" if you each have the same number of orgasms? Who refuses to play with food because he doesn't have any desire to do it? Who tells you that he is "too tired" when he walks in on you laying on the bed next to the silk ties, handcuffs, and blindfold that you have carefully laid out next to you? Who you make a card for with a rather explicit poem that you've written, but not a thing changes? Who could tell you how many times you've had sex each year for the past 5 years, including how many of those YOU instigated, and how many were anal?
Sorry for ranting. This one triggered some issues with me.
Lara- I am sorry to hear about your husbands lack of understanding. It sounds as if you have tried everything.
But don't misread the advice, which ultimately is geared for couples who both agree there are issues, or for those who have not TRIED communication before, and only succumbed to the "I'll deal with it."
I'm stating the obvious here, but you seem an overly sexual person. Or atleast you've written to appear as such. Assuming that sex is all important to you, but you are not getting it, why are you still together?
There are alot of reasons couples stay the course, and I do not condone divorce or seperation... but I am concerned with your emotional health as it relates physically...
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