You dirty little...

Alright, so here marks the first Q and A on this blog ever. The following person requested to be anonymous and would like to keep the comments section open... if you have any further advice or comments, feel free to leave them. So, here goes:

Dear EN,

I've been dating a guy for 4 years and we'll be married in June. I am aprehensive because I admit I haven't been entirely truthful with him. We get along great and have a very close relationship, I love him very much... However, I am a closet masochist and he has no idea.

He is a gentle man and very giving, has always been supportive of me and has told me he would do anything for me... but, I think that if I tell him I'll lose him because I know that he would never hit me intentionally, especially in the bedroom. How do you suggest I approach this issue with him? Do I tell him? Or, should I continue to fake my orgasms until after when I can sneak to the bathroom and make myself cum?

Thanks - Beaten


Dear Beaten,

Err, umm. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Well, I assume you've never ever spoken to him about this or tried to introduce it in the bedroom forum.

I think that faking orgasms is a shame... and a tremendous waste of energy especially if you have a willing partner. Now is a good time to approach this issue since nobody should ever go through life committed sneaking into the bathroom to pinch a nipple and smack themselves for an orgasm. Although, that does sound rather fun... seriously will have to check that out myself.

If he is all that you say, giving and willing to make you happy then I think you should tell him before the bonds of marriage. It sounds almost as if he would respect you more for telling him, and ultimately it could work in your favor that you've got some history there. I think you'll find that he may be more shocked that you hadn't told him sooner. Really, the worst he could do is laugh and say something shitty like "I could never hit you honey." In that case you would need to make a decision as to whether he is more important, or your sexual preference is. Soul searching... really, it's a good thing. Once that decision is made, it's all good. Though, I am getting the feeling there will be no decision making... what man doesn't like to spank his catch?

I can't think of one, honestly.... *thinking* yep, nope.

BUT.
Let's just say you decide not to talk to him about it... you chicken out. Okay that's cool, we all chicken out every once and awhile, even me. Yes. I do.
Slyly introduce it into bedtime play then, perhaps when he's behind you (and please don't tell me he never gets behind you) you could reach back and spank yourself. That might just entice him to smack you too.
Or and better yet, if you can prop on one arm, then pinch your own nipple... I'm pretty sure he wont see it. Hair grabbing/pulling - hot - and I am sure if you direct his hand to a fist full of hair regardless of position and tell him while moaning to pull it, he will. Oh, he will.

Shit. I am totally losing my train of thought here... what the fuck was I saying?

Seriously though Beaten, if you decide to hit this head on (pardon the pun) before marriage than I think it would be a good move. Try sneaking it in first... and then move on to the talk-time, that way you may not have to discuss it at all if he complies.

OH and whatever you do, do NOT tell him you've been faking your orgasms... us ladies can only go so far with being 'truthfull and totally honest'. I will be interested to hear how this advice works for ya, so let me know how it goes...

I'm gonna go wrench my panties up into my clit and deck myself a while, I could use a good orgasm.