"I ______________ in Vegas"

Are these billboards everywhere, or just here?

Honestly, everytime I drive by one I am aflutter with the possibilities that could occupy that blank spot. I could spit out a gazillion of them...

But now it's all about packing, firming up plans, tying loose ends... blah blah blah. I know I promised y'all I would start up the Champagne Room today, but I just don't have the heart to pass this up. Remember when I shared the intial emails that slaughtered my outlook with insults from my galpals? Yeah, you remember that. If not, refresh.

You would think that after the exchange today I would totally decide that going to Vegas with these fools would be the worst thing for me. But I love em.... and I think that the hate, love, hate, love thing is really working for us. So, here is the latest installment, skillfully edited... enjoy the ego carnage:

C: haven't heard from anyone... we still doing this then? Will somebody tell me what the plan is please?!?!? And, what are you guys packing?

E: Well, we were trying to go without you... that's probably why you didn't hear anything. I'm packing a camera, batteries, and a firm C cup biootch... actually, shit I have NO idea.

C: Fuck you E. The party never starts without me. Are we shuttling to the airport? If not, I'm sure there's enough room in E's C cup... mind the tp.

Z: I'm still going... Did we even talk about how we're getting there? Should I come over to your house E or are you picking us up. tp... low blow C.

E: Happily will fuck. Mile high even. The party never ENDS without you either slizzut.
HEY wtf? Lay off my C cup broad... and I'll have you know the only reason YOU'RE in a C is the 20 pounds you gained two holidays ago. Meet at my house, we'll get to the airport from there. Z... what happened to the suede mini?

Z: Not a chance, it's stained. Why are we meeting at your house anyway... Mile high. Yeh. Honestly has anybody identified where we're staying or how we're getting there once we get there?

E: Have to make sure husband is happy, kids are watered and fed then I'm out. Figure that'll take the most time. Since you and C are single ladies... you won't have to worry bout that. I thought C emailed us all and told us about the dick she had to suck to get into the MGM Grand, aren't we staying there?

Z: She sucked a dick for the MGM? Seriously? Pity, what a waste. Are you sure she didn't say that she sucked dick for a grand? Perhaps you mis-understood. Uh, and you forgot... I have a child too. Jesus E... quit smoking that shit.

J: I'm in Boise... about to go through security now... will call later. My votes on she sucked dick for a grand. And also... I need to take care of husband too, and shit I feel old about this whole leaving the wounded thing. Single bitches.... whatever.

E: I second the feeling old thing. AND the single bitches thing. I got $20 on C sucking dick for a grand... any takers? So, I'm thinking nobody knows where the hell we're staying then.

C: Hey fuck you guys. I would suck dick for a grand. Watch that vibe J. I'll make sure we still have reservations... can't teach an old bitch new tricks.

Z: Honestly, You too aren’t old……you’re just married! Can’t make your big babies-(husbands) do anything without you. They might need ya to wipe their butts or something! Hahahahaha! MAKE SURE we STILL have reservations? C, are you joking?

E: OMG you didn't just call my husband a baby did you? You silly bitch. Only I am allowed to call him that… it’s his bedroom name. And furthermore any ass wiping between myself and my husband remains behind locked doors, thanks. C, I gotta hundred grand BAR in my purse... it's got your name alllll over it. Further, bitches age like wine... which makes me a good vintage... and you're absolutely right... i have enough tricks as it is, don't need yours thanks. No worries Z, she could blow for another room if we need her to.

C: You're so in trouble when we get there. Z, I'll be at your place around 4pm we'll get over to E's round 5pm and then to the airport.

Z: You kinky cat you! Pet names in the bedoir! YUCK! I don’t want to know that! You both are my friends! Next thing you know you're going to tell me your husband has the fetish with the vaccuum cleaner! hahahahahaha. C I assumed you made sure the room is still available?

E: Fucking hilarious really. You guys are fucking crack-ups. Why so early to be at my place though.. the flight doesn't leave til later? Right? Kinky cat! LOL Meeeooooowwww. There's nothing wrong with the vacuum cleaner.... great hickies.

C: No, that's her son with the fetish. Uh, E my ticket says leaving at 6:54. I thought you were on the same flight? NO? so sad. beeooootttcchhh.

E: LOL silly me. I thought you meant to say biiiiooootttcchh. Fucking learn to say it right or don't say it at all. uhhhh... OH the ticket says ARRIVING in Vegas round 9. K, noted. be at my house whenever... that means we start drinking round... ahhhh.... 3ish? LOL

C: That sounds good, lets all leave work early and go pre-function. I know me and Z can. IT's a single ladies thing.... bbIIII ooottchhh.

E: Have to work, no go... will have to leave from here to airport... lets just meet at gate then. Better C, better... now say it with more feeling, almost as if you have a dick in your mouth and you're shooting for that grand.

C: Ummmm. how are we supposed to get there.... fly? stop with the dick sucking comments.

E: On your fucking broomstick with a dick in one hand and a grand in the other. I dunno! Alright, seriously are we going anywhere with this... some of us have to work. I have to know where we're staying for emergencies. I have to know if I need to pick you guys up or just meet you... AND I have to know how the stain on Z's skirt got there.

C: Working on the room res. Pick us up on the way to the airport... it's on your way anyway and if you're not stopping at home first then we'll just go straight there. I'll head over to Zanies and we'll pre-function for ya. Maybe slip one to you in the car. Like my broomstick up your ass.

E: Tease. I'm not drinking and driving. I'll pick you up and throw back a couple on the plane. Please let me know what's going on with the room as soon as you know. Have to leave emergency contact number with vacuum cleaner loving ass wiping big baby husband. You know, really you're just jealous is all. Now, what of the stain on Z's skirt....?

Z: C, yes let's do that. But, no broomstick please. What E? Jealous of you? LOL. okay, maybe. And about that stain... speaking of your husband...

E: Bitches. You have now successfully pissed me off. No mercy from here on out. I'll call J when she lands and give her the scoop.... don't email me tomorrow... I'm not talking to either one of you.

C: Why, because of the stain comment? So sensitive about husband... jealous even maybe.

E: NO because I missed the opportunity for a threesome with Zanie. FUCK. Audi.

Yep. I'm totally in for it. Notice that nowhere in that day long fuck-shop did we hammer down where we'd really be staying? *nervous* I anticipate a lot of interesting stories accumulating from a 48 hour stooper.... share some? prolly.

So, how would you fill it then? Go on, humor me... and give me some ideas while your at it.

"I ________________________ in Vegas."