House Arrest

I wish EN would stop being busy so I could not have to feel obligated to bore all you bitches with my charming intellect... I find myself extremely boring no matter the situtation, I yawn when I touch myself.

Well when I USED TO touch myself!!!

BUT, you will have to deal with me posting more often here, so buck up! Because I am working to give the heavy some quiet reflective time. That and she's got some field work and research to do. HA! What, you thought I was being supportive and un-selfish?

*thinking* Nope sorry.


Being stuck at home sucks my left ball.
And since my balls seem to be the only functional properties between my legs right now I'm going to tell all you ladies to just go ahead and mouth one for fun.

Trying to pinpoint the thing that sucks the most about being stuck at home, but there's so many little things that are irritating. Like having to work without my regular co-worker induced atmosphere. Or getting good coffee at 9am, 11am, 2 pm, 4pm.... Instead I get folgers and a big cup of kiss my ass this tastes like shit.

I can't touch my dick for SIX MONTHS. Six long pathetic months... I can only take a piss with it, everything else is off limits. No women, no masturbation, no teasing, NOTHING.

I take a pill that gives me an erection every six hours. I forgot I took it today and walked downstairs to get some lunch. The kitchen window was open.... For the comfort factor I wasn't wearing any clothes except for this sterile sheath I could wear to keep germs from the patchwork they've made of my foreskin. UGH.

The lady across the way is terrified that I'm some exhibitionist pervert who eats bologna with a sock on his cock.
Also, I swore I asked that this whole "surgery" thing be kept a secret within the local area. Yet, every time I made a business call some body had to insinuate that they knew.

"Hey trent, just calling about that article for next week"

"Oh hey Shawn, yeah just having a little trouble getting it going... I'm sure you understand what that's like..."

or when I called Sheila to follow up on some Q and A's:

"So you had to back up and begin again? Will you have it to lay out in time?"

"Oh sure! I just had to cut some from the bottom and blend it into the top, no big edits... Just fixed the hole in the flow of the article."

And then the Pizza man had to throw his two fucking cents in:

"But can I get extra cheese on that then?"

"Sure we can do that, are you going to try the new half and half deal?"

Honestly people. If there was ever a time that I needed a shotgun to put me out of my misery. It would be right now.

GOOD NEWS THOUGH!

With a little bit of guess work and some vaseline I was able to find out where they got the extra skin from for my little trooper!

I'd show it to you for a quarter, granted your head isn't that big... or your ears.

Why is it when I originally saw this photo I wanted to play Heads-up 7 up?
Does anyone remember that game but me?
I used to look up the girls skirts while they're heads were down on their desks... Great game that was.