Whose bright idea was this?

The man on the left is Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan.
(the guy on the right is obviously a lucky bastard getting a free photo op)

Fateh says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

How about that?

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor (a big no-no for Muslims), said he was horrified to find out there was a light bulb buried deep in his anal cavity. "It explains the discomfort in my abdomen." Fateh points to his belly button and smiles a toothless grin "and why I couldn't turn my lamp on for the last week."

He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

Wednesday night a team of skilled doctors worked religiously to remove the lightbulb from Fateh's asshole... It took them one and a half hours.

Lightbulb+Ass = 1 1/2 hours with forcepts and silly putty... and one of those weird clickety-click things they have at the gynecologists. Yes I know it's called a Speculum, but not everybody does.

"We had to take it out intact," Dr. Farrukh Aftab of Nishtar Hospital noted as he poured over the x-ray, recollecting the horrific moments of rectal stretching the team had to accomplish to complete the complicated surgery. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation. We would have had to get the tweezers and suction tools out."

The good doctor hung his head in shame "No one is trained or certified to operate the suction tool so it's any one's guess as to how that would have turned out. Mr. Mohammed is a very lucky man. Praise Allah for the motor oil and peanut butter. "

Dr. Aftab then went on to say "The bulb still works amazingly well, we needed to replace a light in the staff lounge anyway, so I thought, why not?"

Mohammed recalls how miserable the experience had been "When I woke up this morning I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said. "I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

Dr. Aftab added that he'd never seen something as strange in his life, and doubted Mohammed was speaking the truth about his suspicions. Somehow the possibility that someone had/could drug him and insert the bulb while he was comatose was inconceivable to a well educated doctor that Police or other prisoners could do such a thing.

Instead he formulates his own theory "Mr. Mohammed seems to be a freaky-deaky guy, I can think of a few different ways myself to get a light bulb up my ass... Or a small puppy." He then continued "Or a vase, or umbrella...."

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad told Rueters Press from his hospital bed yesterday afternoon. "I can only really sit on one ass cheek, but now I will be a celebrity when I get back to the jail. Every one will want a piece of me."

EDIT: Nah, I didn't make it up completely :) The above story was modified from the original story found here. I will be on and off today (snicker) as I will be working two jobs, but the banter and jokes are wonderful!! And so nice to come back to after my stressful workload! Keep it up!!! Happy Friday...