Homeward Bound you sickwit

In honor of Editor Shawns return to his blog home here I promised to script a list of memories for him to tackle. I think I mentioned this the week before last but since work had been hectic I never had time to write the list.

Many of you were curious as to what the list might look like.

Well, since I clearly cannot post them all to protect the innocent and other's privacy issues I will post a handful which actually compliment the emailed list I sent to him. I have also included a piece of a picture at the end that may help to amplify any hidden spikes of synapse that are not aroused during the list.

He's a visual creature, I'm a bitch like that.... On we go:

1. The first time I met you I called you queer, not because I thought you were gay but because you complimented me on my wrists amd then broke down 24 ways to tie knots so they wouldn't budge. Then you told me I liked your shoes. Not that you liked mine, that I like YOURS... idiot :)

2. There's a black box in your lower left hand desk drawer, open it and check the ticket stub... Read what's written on the back. Try and ignore the other things in that black box please, we can get to that later.

3. You wanted to date that waitress at the little italian place a few doors down, you really liked the meatballs. I think she still likes you, you might wanna go check it out. (heh. the elusive meatball story people... heh!)

4. April 26th 2004 you competed in a bicycle race south of the city. We thought it'd be funny to loosen your bike seat... I'm sorry about the bruising, still.

5. Solstice Festival 2002, sun yellow leotard... wear underwear underneath that next time dork.

6. Red turtleneck draped across lampshade is there because you use it to warn your mother through the window that you're entertaining. It's so classy.

7. Bruce Lee's grave, you did the coniche wha! drunk on sake. MM was there and she spanked you, thus your love for punishment.

8. January 1st, year 2000... the party that started it all for real. You have to remember that, if anything that is where I first met Dr. K and that weird pavlovian thing occurred between the three of us. I think that truly the celebration wouldn't have been the same if you hadn't tried to piss in that bottle on the observation deck.

9. Charity AIDS Breakfast back in the early 02's a guy in leggings and a tank top that said "Spike's Meats" tried to make out with you for fun. I found his number in your pants pocket later while I was fishing out your keys.

10. "I think Starfucker has a bit of the lean to the bizarre, put a device in her way and watch her toothpick it to her advantage. Don't get me wrong, she's sweet as honey... but push her nubs and watch her tweak out like a herionhamster on hystemine.

I suppose I give her a lot of fuckshop on a regular basis, but the truth is I wouldn't ever want anybody else to have my back... or my front. "

EN: "Shawn, are you in love with me?"

"Hell no, I just want to fuck you... did that work? I figured all this time being nice is the only thing I haven't tried."

If none of those items work, reference your email... It will be like the twenty-hundredth one down in your email box.

And if you don't feel like doing that, perhaps this picture will be helpful to you in one way or another. I figure a good percentage of men derive the most memory from a visual aspect, it's the least I can do... I'm a giver.

Welcome back to your world good friend, good luck with your first day back at work.