I am still the F.

So I've mentioned that when my 'straight' girlfriends and I get together it's toxic for society, right? I think in the past I might have mentioned it. I really should do a post about the four of us and how our extremely different personalities clash and compliment each other.

But I won't bore you with that right now.

Basically, we mesh immaturely... And something hilarious always ensues when we're in the same space. This day fishing trip would be classified as a comedy of errors, but a fruitful one none-the-less.

5am: Im on the road with three other sleepy girls, sipping coffee and talking about work, family, fashion and cars. We opt for the Golden Arches for breakfast 3/4's of our way to destination "Lake O'plenty."

6:15am: Chow. Sausage Biscuit isn't that wonderful... It tastes like dog and pillow fluff... I opt to toss half of it and stick to my potato. The other girls aren't impressed either as J tries to sell Zanie on her Egg Mcnasty. Chan decides not to eat at all because "I'm not packing no McAss in my gut, that's just nasty."

which led to shitty comment #1, courtesy of J: "What language are you speaking? I swear if you call us your peeps I'm kicking you out the car."

7:01am: Boat launch. Four girls and a boat launch with "fuckupyourprettyboat" written all over it. See how it L hooks to the right down there and keeps on going? Yeah, if you click on the image you can totally see it.

You can imagine a brief panic session and prolly a scream. Though I admit we did pretty well, It only took one try. Okay two... sheesh!

late 7amish: I'm fishing, and I catch one on my first cast. J's catching too. Zanie gets excited for us... Her line yanks and she's got one on too. Hat trick first thing in the morning. We compete on who can get it to the boat quickest while Chan holds the net... J did that bitch.

We high five. We knuckle. We beer.

9am: Two or three fish caught just me. Nine in total. J's on fire...
Chan is sunbathing and having her first shot of Jeager (out of 12). Zanie is talking about god knows what and I'm checking my voicemail (because I'm on call at work this weekend).


The lake was glass... you could see the fish jumping. For a holiday weekend it was awfully silent at the lake.

We got sappy. Fish on... rinse, repeat, beer me.
Yes I totally look like ass when I fish fuckers... fuck you:)

12noon: Most of our clothes are off. I've had three beers by now. The fish aren't biting, I haven't ate. I pull my pants down around my ankles and show off my keen supergirl undies to the old men on the other side of the inlet. They appreciate that. I set down my pole, pull up my pants and head to the cooler.

12:10pm: "Dude, who was in charge of lunch?"

"Chan was"
Chan got up from sunbathing and pointed at her bag "In there, I brought stuff."

I put my pole down and reach for her bag, there's one thing of cocktail pep and a bag of trail mix.
"Chan where's lunch?"

"In there, right there in your hand."

"Chan," holding up her choice of nutritional drinking/fishing hungry girl food "Cocktail pep and Trail Mix? This is all you brought for the four of us?!?!"

"Well, it's food isn't it? There's plenty of beer, that's filling."

In the background of this conversation my pole is sliding towards the edge of the boat, off the side, and down into the water... yup. cool.

"Alright I'll have some trail mix and a beer." Fourth beer, hand of trail mix... looking for my pole... "Hey J did you move my pole?"
"Nope."
Zanie is on the other side of the boat, Chan has been bathing and taking shots of Jaeger no where near where I was sitting. Where's my pole?

"Seriously J, what the fuck... Not funny!"

"I didn't move it... I swear, I've been fishing this flat hard."

I remember the last time I lost a pole in a lake, I jumped in after it. "Zanie what's that depth finder say?"

"18.3 feet, why?"

"I think my pole's back there on the lake bed."

12:45pm: I'm drunk and praying that I can dive 18 feet -AGAIN-

1:25pm: I'm wet, I'm drunker than when I started. But I have my pole and a fish that ingested my hook. I'm a little pissed off. J laughs at me and Zanie thinks I'm fucking insane. To liven things up J flashes us her tits. We move on.

We sing bad eighties songs and talk about men. Yep, beer me.

2:50pm: No shit people I had a HUGE fish on. To this day we're not too sure how big that shit head was but I fought it for 10 minutes or so easy. I swore he gave and was letting me reel him in, but towards the end he dove and my line snapped.

The next cast was just as evil. Remind me to never EVER drink as much as I did in the sun again. Especially when all I got is fucking trail mix and 2 cocktail peps to eat.

*chewing on beef stick*

Cast. Wait.
Get a bite, fish is on... Set the hook... Pull... reeel... he's a fighter... just a yank and bring him in nice and easy... take a step back... whoa shit I lost my footing.... I'm going backwards... right... right... right off the other side of the boat. *splash* That waters refreshing.... I still have this cocktail pep in clenched in my teeth... Dammit I JUST got dry.... Where's the fish?

Zanie and Chan are laughing their asses off. My fish is in the boat, after slapping J in the side of the head. Hilarity ensues as I try to get back on the boat. Chan almost falls off trying to help me in. Maybe it's a good time to call it a day... We'll troll the shoreline on the way back.

4:00pm: Can you drive? No, can you? Uh-uh I think I'm going to puke. Hey, can you drive dude? Nope, I think we should wait it out... Let's get the boat on the trailer.

*blank stare between the four of us at the thought of "fuckupyourprettyboat" launch*

4:05pm: Fuck dude, can you even walk up the boat launch? No, don't think so... Can you? Uh-huh, no way. Our car is up there though.

Beer me.

6-7ispm: I fall in the door. I didn't drive, no. I STILL have my pole though. My new sun burnt shoulders...

A day out with my trouble making friends.

My catch record of eighteen to torture The Wedding Party boys with.

and knowing I could still work on the weekends drunk as hell and with a fish on.

The Universe was cool as hell today.