10 ways to teach yourself (2 of series)
To renew your Sexual Mojo #2
2. Communication - How essential is communication when it comes to sex? Very essential. And if used correctly can be a very powerful form of intimacy in itself. I don't mean the "Oh Gods and Oh shit yes"... but those are great ways to communicate too.
Forms of communication can bind breaks in closeness... and form a stronger bond than ever when practiced with your partner. Keeping ones mouth shut when it comes to unmentionables is a big no-no... it puts us into a position we didn't really want in the first place, or don't enjoy.
If you don't want his dick in your ass you have to say so, set some ground rules. However, if you do want his dick in your ass you have to tell him so; as he may think you're not into that. By the way, if you do... and he doesn't know it, you must tell him right away... atleast to see the expression on his face... priceless.
In fact, if you really want to get a kick, go to a tractor pull and wear a T-shirt that states such... now that's entertainment.
Of course, communication doesn't just apply to the act of sex. It can also be a very powerful form of foreplay... whether you get off on intellectual conversation or a slutty comment.
In most of my experiences, the way the connection happens is not dictated. I can have a completely engrossing conversation with my husband about how well he's aged or his ability to juggle so many responsibilities... and end up making out like teenagers afterwards (or during).
Or I could be standing in the kitchen, doing the dishes when husband comes over and says something really nasty in my ear. Which of course starts the ball rolling for the rest of the night...
IF you are uncomfortable relaying how you feel and what your needs are, then you need to stop and think about your happiness... you're not happy? Were you once?
Was it when you both actually had time to sit and talk...?
Before kids....? Before that split-shift schedule that put you on different time zones?
Okay then, here are some tips from little ol' me... to lil' ol you. Most of these apply to women just like me - married with children. But, I am almost wondering if you single men and ladies can get into this too?
A. First thing in the morning - Need coffee, have morning breath, don't want to get into it yet, my day just started. Yes, I understand your pain; however... When I dream or fantasize about my husband the night before, I tell him about it. The effect? Well, a smile and a promise that you'd be discussing it again that evening when the kids go to bed. The mornings are chaotic sometimes, I know; so I tell my husband my nasty thoughts at the coffee maker (while for that instant the kids are watching toons and eating breakfast). School age kids? Yeah, that sucks... whisper it in his ear! After you brush your teeth of course.
B. The Park - How many parents this time of year don't take their kids to the park? Not many I know. While the little one frolics (if you're anything like me) 3 feet away, stand next to partner and have time to discuss what's on your mind. Animal instinct and history dictates we listen better outdoors (thanks to fresh air and stimuli)... therefore you should have his full attention, and complete adoration when you bat your eyelids as you tell him. This is the forum I use to introduce the kinky stuff... But beware, public parks when busy are not the appropriate forum.
That would be like wearing crotchless panties and nothing else; to Disneyland.
C. At Dinner - Okay this would be assuming you are not dining at Denny's or Applebees's, and that you are child-less. LOL Although I have to add that I have worked subliminal messages in an after-work conversation with husband at McDonalds.
But no, do it over dinner... for best results have a glass of wine or two first, candle light, soft music (if you're lucky)... and for god's sake, atleast get through the appetizer..
OOH Neat trick, use your asparagus. Oh, come on ladies... you know what I'm talking about. Wearing a low cut blouse? Line the asparagus parallel to your cleavage and bend your head forward a bit to bite it. Hey, don't fucking laugh.. it works like a charm. If you're partners freudian fix is feinding (ouch, say that 5 times fast), he will not see the asparagus.
D. Shit, that was silly.. sorry. LMAO, I need a break
E. Not a talker? S'ok. Write a note, doesn't have to be lengthy.. say it simply and get your point across. Something along the lines of: You sexy bitch you... I think your _____ really looks _____ and it's difficult not to _______ you right now. Can we talk about how _______ ________ it gets me?
Of course, you don't have to use bitch.. but it adds effect... bitch.
As an end note.. Communication should be tight with you and your amorous one. Once that groundwork is laid, beautiful things come about... and doors open that you would've never imagined... good doors, good doors.
Best book I have ever read regarding the importance of connecting, would be The Five Love Languages which was referred to me when I felt husband and I were floating apart a bit. Gave our lives a total 360, that's for sure. I just don't subscribe to the whole ministry thing... it scares me.
If you would like to check it out for yourself, I have provided the path here... uh, and to the ministry too.
2. Communication - How essential is communication when it comes to sex? Very essential. And if used correctly can be a very powerful form of intimacy in itself. I don't mean the "Oh Gods and Oh shit yes"... but those are great ways to communicate too.
Forms of communication can bind breaks in closeness... and form a stronger bond than ever when practiced with your partner. Keeping ones mouth shut when it comes to unmentionables is a big no-no... it puts us into a position we didn't really want in the first place, or don't enjoy.
If you don't want his dick in your ass you have to say so, set some ground rules. However, if you do want his dick in your ass you have to tell him so; as he may think you're not into that. By the way, if you do... and he doesn't know it, you must tell him right away... atleast to see the expression on his face... priceless.
In fact, if you really want to get a kick, go to a tractor pull and wear a T-shirt that states such... now that's entertainment.
Of course, communication doesn't just apply to the act of sex. It can also be a very powerful form of foreplay... whether you get off on intellectual conversation or a slutty comment.
In most of my experiences, the way the connection happens is not dictated. I can have a completely engrossing conversation with my husband about how well he's aged or his ability to juggle so many responsibilities... and end up making out like teenagers afterwards (or during).
Or I could be standing in the kitchen, doing the dishes when husband comes over and says something really nasty in my ear. Which of course starts the ball rolling for the rest of the night...
IF you are uncomfortable relaying how you feel and what your needs are, then you need to stop and think about your happiness... you're not happy? Were you once?
Was it when you both actually had time to sit and talk...?
Before kids....? Before that split-shift schedule that put you on different time zones?
Okay then, here are some tips from little ol' me... to lil' ol you. Most of these apply to women just like me - married with children. But, I am almost wondering if you single men and ladies can get into this too?
A. First thing in the morning - Need coffee, have morning breath, don't want to get into it yet, my day just started. Yes, I understand your pain; however... When I dream or fantasize about my husband the night before, I tell him about it. The effect? Well, a smile and a promise that you'd be discussing it again that evening when the kids go to bed. The mornings are chaotic sometimes, I know; so I tell my husband my nasty thoughts at the coffee maker (while for that instant the kids are watching toons and eating breakfast). School age kids? Yeah, that sucks... whisper it in his ear! After you brush your teeth of course.
B. The Park - How many parents this time of year don't take their kids to the park? Not many I know. While the little one frolics (if you're anything like me) 3 feet away, stand next to partner and have time to discuss what's on your mind. Animal instinct and history dictates we listen better outdoors (thanks to fresh air and stimuli)... therefore you should have his full attention, and complete adoration when you bat your eyelids as you tell him. This is the forum I use to introduce the kinky stuff... But beware, public parks when busy are not the appropriate forum.
That would be like wearing crotchless panties and nothing else; to Disneyland.
C. At Dinner - Okay this would be assuming you are not dining at Denny's or Applebees's, and that you are child-less. LOL Although I have to add that I have worked subliminal messages in an after-work conversation with husband at McDonalds.
But no, do it over dinner... for best results have a glass of wine or two first, candle light, soft music (if you're lucky)... and for god's sake, atleast get through the appetizer..
OOH Neat trick, use your asparagus. Oh, come on ladies... you know what I'm talking about. Wearing a low cut blouse? Line the asparagus parallel to your cleavage and bend your head forward a bit to bite it. Hey, don't fucking laugh.. it works like a charm. If you're partners freudian fix is feinding (ouch, say that 5 times fast), he will not see the asparagus.
D. Shit, that was silly.. sorry. LMAO, I need a break
E. Not a talker? S'ok. Write a note, doesn't have to be lengthy.. say it simply and get your point across. Something along the lines of: You sexy bitch you... I think your _____ really looks _____ and it's difficult not to _______ you right now. Can we talk about how _______ ________ it gets me?
Of course, you don't have to use bitch.. but it adds effect... bitch.
As an end note.. Communication should be tight with you and your amorous one. Once that groundwork is laid, beautiful things come about... and doors open that you would've never imagined... good doors, good doors.
Best book I have ever read regarding the importance of connecting, would be The Five Love Languages which was referred to me when I felt husband and I were floating apart a bit. Gave our lives a total 360, that's for sure. I just don't subscribe to the whole ministry thing... it scares me.
If you would like to check it out for yourself, I have provided the path here... uh, and to the ministry too.
posted by Everything Nice at 2:06 PM
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