Follow up Post to follow up Blondies follow up... Post.

**to read blondies assessment, please click here and see my OC Hottie.


So yeah... Vegas.

What is it about that place that makes your body just go "what the fuck?"

Okay, okay it was probably the inordinate amount of alcohol consumed or the fluffy french pastries we dined on for breakfast. Cheese Danish any body? Raspberry turnover?

yikes on the cholesterol count. But holla for the idontgiveafuckthisisvegasattitude!

Dig the packed mini (honor) bar... It sported chocolate flavored condoms and lube... plus a lovers game all wrapped up in an Eiffel tower... It was soo cool.... $49.00.

not talkin.

Yes definitley holla for the idontgiveafuckthisisvegasattitude!

That exact same attitude found me in my pajamas and sunglasses roaming aimlessly around the casino Sunday morning with a smoke hanging out of my mouth and a constitution to lay waste to my vanitorial needs and sport the dark circles because my hangover was kickin'...

and fuck the no-coffee-maker-in-the-room bullshit.
no, not waiting for room service... High maintenance alcohol poisoned coffeeneeder. If I'm gonna suffer... All ya'll are going to suffer. Thanks for that nice man that wore the WHOLE BOTTLE of Cool Water in the elevator and helped me to polish my "choking it back" skills.

WOOT to the hangover queen! My left kidney hates me and wants me to die.

Let's go down the list of drinks, shall we? I'll try to put them in order until I can't remember.

Blondie - 1 shot pineapple tequila, long island ice tea, 1 duck fart, (uh), K there was something between the duck fart and the red headed slut... jesus, you had a lot of those that night... wait, was it a washington apple too? and another duck fart. K obviously I lost count after MY fourth.

Em - 1 shot pineapple tequila, rum and coke, 1 duck fart, cosmopolitan, washington apple x 2 (shot and drink), duck fart from the mini-bar HA, uh...uhh... OH Hypnotiq and Cran, 2 more duck farts, two more washington apples.

K... nuff said about that. HENCE the audioblogs that will come back to haunt us one day.
But seriously, really, what's up with the striped polo shirts with the white collars? And is blue the 'staple' color for those shirts....Or what? The last time I saw polo shirts that popular was in the early 90's, and even then they were played. I was surprised to see they're back in style because they never did anything for me. Any ladies out there willing to admit to BIG ASS Polo Stripes?

Random observation: Men aren't always pretty when they get closer. Or, you sober up. Or they open their mouth.
Second Random observation: Don't worry about your wedding ring- nobody cares. In fact I think they find it a challenge and place odds for completion of passes.

Paris was a beautiful casino and had most of the amenities you would need at a good resort. I say most because the bed was rock hard and neither of us slept well. ALTHOUGH it had a padded leather headboard.... *Stifle*

We had the water show outside our bedroom window every 10 minutes, and a large movie board that sported Wayne Newton playing a fiddle every 5 minutes... Did you know that you haven't really experienced Vegas unless you've seen Wayne in action. I've seen Wang in action... Does that count?

We went shopping at Bally's and some other places... Bought shoes. What? They're Vegas shoes damnit! Amongst the other things purchased by me:

1. Victoria Secrets black bustier-type top - Which I wore to go dancing in Saturday Evening. And I wonder why the hard-ons were abundant? Well shit it didn't help that Blondie was wearing the same top she is in her profile picture!!!

2. Paris carry-on bag - Which actually turned out to be an awesome purchase as it held my shoes and all the rest of my shit when I couldn't stuff anymore into my seam-busted suitcase (poor thing). Shit people I had 6 pairs of shoes and a suitcase so small it would qualify for carry-on size. I don't wear many clothes.

3. One Mimi Mango Lili coolmax 'wicking' tank - DUDE. Blondie, that rocked not only the airport cleavage but damn it was so nice to NOT share my alcohol perspiratied 'state' with everyone on that flight. I love that top, Im wearing it all the time... I can wear it without a bra and my husband can't believe I made it home safe with it on. HA.

Blondie won capitol on the slots. I fucking didn't. God damnit every time we sat down she'd plop in a $5, hit 2 credits and BLAM; she's a winner... First win was $138.00, second was $60.00...

I sat drinking and cursing her and her god damn machine, every once in awhile I flipped off the guys sitting behind the security cameras for kicks... I know that didn't help, but I wasn't winning shit anyway. I went home a lot poorer needless to say... although in hindsight I spent more on the alcohol then I ever did gambling (which was new for me).

Let's NOT talk about the club that night. In fact let's not talk about anything that happened after, say, 4pm on either night. Let's just smile and say "glad you had a nice time girls, so happy you're back safe and sound..."

not workin for ya? k, too bad. What happens in Vegas......