Aphro- Sheen

Some of you have mentioned that I review aphrodisiacs.

GREAT IDEA!

Okay people, you know I really can't commit to doing that... Why?

Because I'm a sex freak and thus doing that would be like energizing Superman with the golden rays of the sun.

Yeah. EN + Aphrodisiac Enhancers = Big Trouble in Little Woman

Not to say that there aren't times that I do use them, because to say that would be a lie. No, I save them for times when I want to feel overly sexual and attractive to my partner. Times when I want to feel a little more aroused... Times when I want my sexual prowess to shine a bit brighter.

I have an arsenal of products and methods I trust to 'enlighten' my libido. I suppose I could share them with you in lieu of a review. I would like to say that results and/or opinions differ per person since true aphrodisiacs work in conjunction with your own natural pheromones... And yes, like DNA structure, everyone's different.

So, umm, no matter how conventional the item... Please.. uhhh.. Enjoy?

HA.

Aphrodisiacs range in price anywhere from $5.99 to &199.99; and yes people do pay that amount apparently (god help them). I can't attest to the fact of the old adage "you get what you pay for" because I refuse to spend that much on getting me (or anybody else) in the mood.

Hell you can get a steak and lobster dinner and a night at the hotel complete with room service for about that price. Sure, it's the Motel 6 and breakfast is continental... BUT STILL... There's a coffee maker in the room, right?

But I digress, over the years I have dabbled a bit in different types and well, methods of opposite sex attractant... I have tried and trues that work for me so I thought I'd post them. Although some of these would be for your own enjoyment (and to smack that maudlin libido upside the ass). Others are attractants and enhancers for couples:

1. Crazy Girl pheromone shimmer lotion- This is scented. The only thing I can compare it to scent-wise would be the Victoria Secrets love spell lotion, so if you want to smell before you purchase to be sure it's not too strong or the scent (for you) is awful.. That would be to go to VS and sniff it.

At first it might bite your nose for a second, but it fades quickly into an almost oblivious scent (you can only smell it close up to the skin after about 30 minutes).
This lotion has a shimmer, not really a glitter... Don't let it fool you...

I get a LOT of compliments on this lotion... From women and men. It rocks.

2. Eating the strangest things - Edible.com. Any item on the aphrodisiac section has been tested THANKS SHAWN. They work. a lot.
After ordering your pearl lollipop to get your sex on, grab a scorpion toffee candy for afterwards too.. They're pretty tasty.

3. Flying Fox shower gel - Lush. Holy shit I recommend this product highly.
For those of you that do not like the scented products or the lotions... Or eating bugs...
I shouldn't even be telling you about this product... It's my secret. I'm doing this for you Sass because I think this is the one you want to go for. *tear* so special.

Flying Fox shower gel is the most wonderful concoction ever made. It has honey in it and some other shit.. Oh Jasmine..And umm... Just WOW. It doesn't take much but a small dime size amount and BAM... You're a goddess.

The scent carries with you all day, but its not flowery at all... It's rather clean smelling and feminine. Which is why I think it would rock for you Sass.
Honestly, after enduring a full days wrath of shit, sweat, and tears (thinking of you teaching and climbing)... I could smell my forearm and feel awesome all over again. The bottle is small, so you can carry it easily in a gym bag or carry on...
Blondie I will be bringing this to Vegas for you to try... But walk like 20 feet ahead or behind me at all times or I won't be held responsible for .... *sigh*

Flying Fox can also be added to a Lush bath-bomb to create a most holy-shit-this-is-so-fucking-awesome-my-toes-are-curling type of bath... Add a candle too.
Honestly after talking about this I think I need a shower.

In fact, while you're at Lush.com, shop around (but not you Blondie, I got you taken care of). Their stuff kicks and I swear by everything they sell... I'm a fan and only use their products for my bath/shower times.

4. Kharma Sutra Massage Oil (Pleasure garden) - This stuff should be used with a partner that can rub a mean back. It's not something you can wear that lasts through the day obviously, but it's something that works the aromatic sensory department... And your lovers hands kneading your skin are just addition.
It's not too Greasy.
It's not too sticky.
It doesn't linger.
It doesn't ruin the bedsheets.
If you're looking for a massage oil that doesn't wreak of patchouli and compliments the atmosphere, this is the one.

5. Aphrodite's Brew - They serve this stuff at my secret place... It's amazing and powerful stuff thanks in part to the Kava Kava in it. I decided that the cinnamon and vanilla compliment of the brew makes the bitterness not so bad. BUT, of course it depends on how steep you like it.

Normally Im not a tea person (please hold tea-bagging jokes for a moment). But this tea passes the test on soothing and abundantly necessary when I need some stimuli.

6. Chinese food. Am I the ONLY person that get's horny when I have Chinese? Seriously evil those Chinese people are for their food...


7. Chocolate - Yep ladies I said it. And you know that twinge we get when we're PMSing where we crave sweet salty?
Sweet, salty. Sweet, salty.
Yeah, Im not talking about those times.

Proper chocolate administration is key when it comes to libido enhancement. No I'm not talking about stomach, nipple, thigh (which one do I pick)? I'm talking about consumptive timing.

I'm fairly certain you're aware that its a stimulant, it doesn't cause acne, and by itself in proper consumption ratio it's not fattening either...
But did you know that if you have one little hershey's bar before it date it can swing it to the positive? Maybe not in epic proportions, but it releases mesolimbic dopamine in the pleasure centers of the brain. This same area is 'triggered' during orgasm.
Nuff said.
If you'd like to know more about mesolimbic dopamine and how it pertains to orgasm, here's some light reading for you. And yes, I read this shit.

8. Saffron - In rice normally, but there's been times I've treated myself to a Saffron candle that can only be found in a small cubby shop at "the market". Really it's expensive to buy and even harder to justify eating/burning.

9. Alcohol - duh. no wait. duh. My favorite? hmmm. Baileys shots, with an ice chaser. Normally it only takes me one or two drinks to suffice my sex drive, and then it's all over. There is no secret liquor or drink I can entertain you with... And I hear it's all in the way you drink it.
I like it creamy and slow... Is that a bad thing?

10. Otis Redding, Nina Simone, and Billie Holiday - Flip on the Otis and I'm yours like a 50% of sale on the day after Christmas folks. Jazz/Blues is never a turn off people. Slow sweet and smooth... Especially when you have the vinyl copy and can experience the 'pops' of the needle. suh-weet!

How'd I do? Can I go have sex now?