Wearing my golden ticket

See my shirt here? It's a guaranteed golden ticket to everything.

I got this shirt from a friend for Christmas, and so far it's a guaranteed crowd pleaser.

I wear mine with jeans for effect since really it shines when you accessorize correctly; match it with a pony tail and you're tight for the day.

For those of you that can't read what it says over my busting breast-line:

I'll be using these to my advantage.

History dictates that when I stuff myself in this T-shirt good things will come to me. Of course for the guys this is incredibly obvious why it would be a positive experience... So let's direct to the ladies for a minute the power of the almighty t-shirt.

Grocery shopping - guaranteed offer to reach things on the highest shelf from cute stock boys.

Home Improvement Store - Ummm. DUH! Wearing this shirt into any home improvement store is deadly... Especially around the nail gun display or the guys operating those big palate fork-lifts. I think I caused a huge display demolition more than once.

Shopping Mall - boyfriend and husband neck-crane. Add bruises on the arm from the significant other knuckle punching.

Auto Dealership - HA! Enough said.

The person that sent me this shirt was very wise as to the deviousness of the t-shirt since it's crimson writing on a dark gray shirt... It's extremely difficult to read unless you're right up on it.

So, from a distance it's a breast distraction.
Close up however, it's a I'm trying to read what it says on your shirt but yet I don't want you to think I'm looking at you breasts when in actuality I really am distraction. Good job at making sure the guys are taken care of on that one friend, seriously.... could you have made it any more difficult to read? LOL.

Poor men at the check out or help desk will glance, glance again, and then say... "Umm, what does it say on your shirt?" Which gives me ample choices depending on my level of interest in receiving benefits:

A) "Look closer and read it yourself" (guaranteed store discount and free product)
B) "I'll be using these to my advantage" (person laughs, compliments, and again store discount and free product)

Either way... It kicks ass.
I urge all the ladies to buy a snarky, obvious breast show-casing shirt... It does wonders for your ego and your sex life if you're single.

Today I will wear this shirt to run my errands and then during the play-off games... Yes, yes there will be jumping up and down when my team scores! So, again, I'll be using these to my advantage while the house packs tight with play-off hungry people :) *giggle*

The catch is that I need to stuff my errand running in before the game begins at 1pm. Will I make it? Perhaps. And even save some money doing it!

I'll be working on the remaining BDSM articles this afternoon and evening to prep them for Monday publishing. I promise we will continue with our dark and dirty path.... I have not forgotten. As you all know I had a week from hell and needed a re-group. Besides, I'm anxious to tell you about the munch!!!!

Speaking of munch, here's a favorite football snack of ours here... It's not crab dip, but DAMN it disappears quickly around hungry men so I always have to buy enough for three batches!!!

Spicy Shrimp Yum Plate (for lack of better title)

1 5.5 oz can of tiny shrimp
1 8 oz block of Philadelphia Cream Cheese
1 bottle of the spiciest cocktail sauce you can get your hands on.
1 box of Ritz crackers

--place block of cream cheese in the middle of a large dip plate
--pour cocktail sauce over cream cheese block, covering completely
--strain and rinse shrimp then distribute on top of the cream cheese and sauce

You'll need a dip knife to cut into the block until it softens, but normally you don't want people just dipping their crackers into this anyway.. So make sure you have a dip knife!
-- grab a cracker, put dip on top... ENJOY!