Que it

*I need some sleep - by the Eels*

I'm having one of those quasi fucked-up weeks right now. I'm not sure if it's the inevitable Vegas withdrawal, or the fact that it's rained here for like two months without a break... It's wearing on me though that's for sure.

I feel the need to free write tonight for some reason, I guess to get some things off my chest :) In a good way people, no worries. I'm not depressed per se, or even overwhelmed, I think it's more like a venting-type thing... so hear me out.

I'm taking a few days off from blogging, hence my posting of the HNT picture on Wednesday instead of Thursday. I have loads of work I continue to 'put off' and hope I can catch up to it later but no go... and this is one of those situations where I say Stop the World I need to get off.

yes. literally... I'm a literal kind of girl... you gotta problem wit' dat?

I have bits and pieces of me strewn everywhere with no organization and I'm spread a bit thin. Imagine if you will, your life a bookshelf and your responsibilities as books. For every responsibility beit small and necessary (i.e brushing your teeth), or large and committed (like having a child)... k, thats more like 10 books actually...

There's less room for books when there's too many so you have to take one down.

wow. my brain just popped... didja hear it?

I experienced a spark with somebody, and it's bothersome because it's fairly distracting and ultimately unreachable without patience. It could be the kind of relationship that would be prosperous for both parties, but terribly inconvenient and akward... baby steps even.
Messy poo-poo baby steps.

But I can't stop thinking about it. And I can't deny the feeling. Until there's a clear path of acceptance and direction from both of us... I will ponder it, some days more than others.... But I'm not shaking it... I just wish it were a little easier to deal with and communicate it completely to the other party... Though I know they understand and most likely feel the same way. I hope.

Do I love this person? No no no people.. well yeah kinda, but not like leavemyhusbandandhappyhome, no way!

I think we would both agree that it's nothing like that. Besides, it just... no, no way. I only expect one person to ever love me, and that's my husband. And he feels the same for me. Love has different levels in my opinion, and nobody replaces that of my husbands.... nobody. ever.

Really it's been bothering me for a very long time, but only recently has it really truly surfaced. And though I can deny it til I'm blue in the face.... to everybody and anybody.... I can't deny it to myself so I feel this is a good time for introversion. And deep thinking.

Just not during work hours apparently. Which by the way are getting very long for me. Another good reason why a short break is essential :)

No worries though folks. I'm not depressed, not so into the deep thinking that I'll lose myself (i hope). I just need time for family, sex, mental exchange, and soul-piecing. Besides, my social calendar this week is a little pressing too. I'm sure all of you can understand that.

I wear Red for this HNT... this is the Lili coolmax wicking tank top I wore on the plane home. HOLLA Blondie for the cleavage! Red is the color of lust, love, desire, affection, and power. It's exactly how I feel right now...

I will try to peek in at my comments and your blogs as much as possible of course, and please leave me a comment or two dammit!!! Just because I'm not hanging out, *snicker* doesn't mean I don't wanna hear from you!

And in the meantime, Enjoy this link thats been lifting my spirits for the last couple of days... Really, you'll laugh like hell (I thought of you Helskel when i saw this *giggle for Jack Bauer*). Really I had tears coming out of my eyes and I spit Coke once or twice.

Chuck Norris does not tea bag the ladies, he potato-sacks them.

Oh, and if that doesn't make you feel better, I threw in a cleavage shot for ya (In other words a top shot of the shirt).
See? I told you this shirt kicked ass. THIS is the one I should have worn to the club!!!! *sigh* k, maybe not.

Happy HNT Everybody... See ya real soon!


If you want to learn more about HNT, click on the rolling box and talk to my big sweet HNT daddy, Osbasso!