PE 101
Yesterday Sass posted a little piece on having a conversation with some qualified experts on blow jobs. I dug her post, truly. It’s refreshing to have a man tell you how a man likes it.
Then I dug into her comments section and was surprised at how many men think it’s simple for us women to give blow jobs.
“It’s just a penis… it will respond no matter what” kind of stuff….
Uhhh, NO. That’s not true.
a) There is such a thing as too much hand, and you KNOW it. Ladies like to fondle and think the tight grip is the way… not sooooo. Don't cut off dudes circulation for crying out loud, that's blood that his brain is gonna have to use later!
b) Too many horror stories from fellow friends about women that threw up on their package because they failed to ignore the gag-reflex. Right, didn’t think THAT turned you guys on all that much.
c) Teeth. Sometimes they get in the way unintentionally. So, having a penis then, you’re telling me I can STILL bring you to orgasm even though I’ve sheared your sensitive tip with my large incisor - over and over again? Huh? HUH?
Didn’t think so. I refuse to believe that insert into warm mouth—penis happy. No.
So, now that I’ve ranted.. the morale of the story is: Just because it’s a penis, doesn’t mean we know how to do it correctly. Practice makes perfect always… here, practice.
*clearing throat* (lol)
After it was suggested that I do a pussy eating post (great choice Sass), I employed the help of my dear bi-gals to assist in co-authoring since I just can’t bring myself to do this in instructional form. Documentary with pictures, MAYBE.
Anyway, cut and paste baby.. so easy on the fingers!
E: Alright ladies, we’re doing tips on how to eat pussy for men.
J: Sounds interesting, k
R: Men don’t know how to eat pussy?
E: Apparently not. What, you think I just wanted to talk about it?
R: Yes… why not. I like to talk about it.
J: Hi I’m Jess, and I’m a scorpio that likes Tennis and Twister, together if possible.
E: LOL Jess no.
R: Pussy eating, okay then… well, kiss us first if possible. On the lips. If you dive right in it’s just not gonna happen.
J: I think that in order for a guy to eat pussy well it has to be prepared the right way.
E: Red! LMAO I think they know to kiss women first!
E: Jess we’re not doing the hygiene section right now, and prepared just makes it sound like it needs a side of veggies and rice.
R: Well some of them don’t.
J: who’s been eating your pussy then? Jesus.
E: LMAO
E: No wait… no seriously… who red?
R: just nevermind.
R: somebody needs to tell them that gentle is good. No goddamn probing, I hate that shit. And don’t fuck me with your tongue either, that just makes no sense. Stick a finger in there if anything.
J: yes gentle is good, the softer the better.
E: And slow is nice, don’t try and rush things by shifting maneuvers for crying out loud. We kinda need to get into it.
R: I like it when a girl eats me better because then I know she’s going to maintain one spot and stuff for a long period of time.
J: spot and stuff. Nice.
E: <--- translating. I like it when she focuses on my clit for awhile instead of moving down to my hole right away.
R: Right. Flick clit with tongue. Do they know what a clit is?
E: not all, but some.
J: It’s that pink fold that swells when you’re doing it right. The part that sticks out.
E: Who’s been eating YOUR pussy then?
R: Do they know what a labia is?
E: Jesus, I hope so. Yes, focus on the clit first. If you can’t find that, you’re lost.
J: dive your tongue in a little first, and then out, like a tease… softly.
R: right, just a little… get the engine started
J: and then run it up and down the slit
E: running… nice one Jess.
J: and then take your fingers and spread my lips open just a little…
E: uhhhhh
R: *perk*
J: flick my clit a little with your tongue, not hard…
J: and then run your tongue up and down the inside of my labia, just along the side of my clit….
E: Really, this is… well… really tough to listen to.
J: and then suck on it, softly... don’t attack the fucker like a god damn Tyson.
R: LOL I hate it when they suck that hard, just no need for that.
E: And mouth it a little, with lips even.. hot.
R: yes Emma, hot. Especially with tongue first…
J: anybody ever slap yours? What’s that about?
E: LMFAO. K guys, don’t slap it unless she asks you to.
J: honestly, just unexpected like. I said hey, why did you slap me?
J: he said what, don’t you like that?
E: JESS. Stop honey really… I can’t take it anymore
R: That ranks right up there with spitting on it… just gross.
J: I said no you bastard idiot, if I wanted you to slap something Id turn around and bare my ass!
R: are we still eating pussy or spanking Jess.
J: LOL
E: I don’t know, I’m teetering at this point.
E: So soft, work the tongue first, then spread, then lick.. then suck a little?
J: It’s like a fucking Fun Dip candy! Remember that?
E: and no roughness, it doesn’t matter what you do.. just be gentle.. not hard with it.
R: Right. Fun Dip. I liked the Vanilla dip stix.
E: OKAY. DAMN stop you too… really. I’m dying here. I thought you were supposed to be helpful…
R: are you horny now Emma?
J: i liked the cherry flavor, the lime was too tart.
E: yes *sigh*
R: then we were!
J: we were what?
R: and guys whatever you do, if you’re gonna nibble don’t bite! No no no no biting.
E: yeah same rules apply to teeth.
J: if we gyrate and fuck your face it’s not our problem either… just hang on and let us get ours.
R: she’s right, you’ll know if we come, especially if you’ve got your finger inside us by then… you should feel the contractions happening. INSIDE the pussy.
J: right, but if we quiver and arch isn’t that the same?
R: well yes but we have to be moaning too.
J: no moaning no orgasm… interesting, you have a point.
R: I love you Jess
J: love you two
E: I step away for a minute and you guys are ready to get a room… that figures
J: I said you TWO! can i come over then?
Okay, well... Dammit I tried.
Sorry I couldn't get all medical terms and details on ya. Hopefully in the interim you can start with these helpful suggestions.
No spitting. and no slapping either.
Then I dug into her comments section and was surprised at how many men think it’s simple for us women to give blow jobs.
“It’s just a penis… it will respond no matter what” kind of stuff….
Uhhh, NO. That’s not true.
a) There is such a thing as too much hand, and you KNOW it. Ladies like to fondle and think the tight grip is the way… not sooooo. Don't cut off dudes circulation for crying out loud, that's blood that his brain is gonna have to use later!
b) Too many horror stories from fellow friends about women that threw up on their package because they failed to ignore the gag-reflex. Right, didn’t think THAT turned you guys on all that much.
c) Teeth. Sometimes they get in the way unintentionally. So, having a penis then, you’re telling me I can STILL bring you to orgasm even though I’ve sheared your sensitive tip with my large incisor - over and over again? Huh? HUH?
Didn’t think so. I refuse to believe that insert into warm mouth—penis happy. No.
So, now that I’ve ranted.. the morale of the story is: Just because it’s a penis, doesn’t mean we know how to do it correctly. Practice makes perfect always… here, practice.
*clearing throat* (lol)
After it was suggested that I do a pussy eating post (great choice Sass), I employed the help of my dear bi-gals to assist in co-authoring since I just can’t bring myself to do this in instructional form. Documentary with pictures, MAYBE.
Anyway, cut and paste baby.. so easy on the fingers!
E: Alright ladies, we’re doing tips on how to eat pussy for men.
J: Sounds interesting, k
R: Men don’t know how to eat pussy?
E: Apparently not. What, you think I just wanted to talk about it?
R: Yes… why not. I like to talk about it.
J: Hi I’m Jess, and I’m a scorpio that likes Tennis and Twister, together if possible.
E: LOL Jess no.
R: Pussy eating, okay then… well, kiss us first if possible. On the lips. If you dive right in it’s just not gonna happen.
J: I think that in order for a guy to eat pussy well it has to be prepared the right way.
E: Red! LMAO I think they know to kiss women first!
E: Jess we’re not doing the hygiene section right now, and prepared just makes it sound like it needs a side of veggies and rice.
R: Well some of them don’t.
J: who’s been eating your pussy then? Jesus.
E: LMAO
E: No wait… no seriously… who red?
R: just nevermind.
R: somebody needs to tell them that gentle is good. No goddamn probing, I hate that shit. And don’t fuck me with your tongue either, that just makes no sense. Stick a finger in there if anything.
J: yes gentle is good, the softer the better.
E: And slow is nice, don’t try and rush things by shifting maneuvers for crying out loud. We kinda need to get into it.
R: I like it when a girl eats me better because then I know she’s going to maintain one spot and stuff for a long period of time.
J: spot and stuff. Nice.
E: <--- translating. I like it when she focuses on my clit for awhile instead of moving down to my hole right away.
R: Right. Flick clit with tongue. Do they know what a clit is?
E: not all, but some.
J: It’s that pink fold that swells when you’re doing it right. The part that sticks out.
E: Who’s been eating YOUR pussy then?
R: Do they know what a labia is?
E: Jesus, I hope so. Yes, focus on the clit first. If you can’t find that, you’re lost.
J: dive your tongue in a little first, and then out, like a tease… softly.
R: right, just a little… get the engine started
J: and then run it up and down the slit
E: running… nice one Jess.
J: and then take your fingers and spread my lips open just a little…
E: uhhhhh
R: *perk*
J: flick my clit a little with your tongue, not hard…
J: and then run your tongue up and down the inside of my labia, just along the side of my clit….
E: Really, this is… well… really tough to listen to.
J: and then suck on it, softly... don’t attack the fucker like a god damn Tyson.
R: LOL I hate it when they suck that hard, just no need for that.
E: And mouth it a little, with lips even.. hot.
R: yes Emma, hot. Especially with tongue first…
J: anybody ever slap yours? What’s that about?
E: LMFAO. K guys, don’t slap it unless she asks you to.
J: honestly, just unexpected like. I said hey, why did you slap me?
J: he said what, don’t you like that?
E: JESS. Stop honey really… I can’t take it anymore
R: That ranks right up there with spitting on it… just gross.
J: I said no you bastard idiot, if I wanted you to slap something Id turn around and bare my ass!
R: are we still eating pussy or spanking Jess.
J: LOL
E: I don’t know, I’m teetering at this point.
E: So soft, work the tongue first, then spread, then lick.. then suck a little?
J: It’s like a fucking Fun Dip candy! Remember that?
E: and no roughness, it doesn’t matter what you do.. just be gentle.. not hard with it.
R: Right. Fun Dip. I liked the Vanilla dip stix.
E: OKAY. DAMN stop you too… really. I’m dying here. I thought you were supposed to be helpful…
R: are you horny now Emma?
J: i liked the cherry flavor, the lime was too tart.
E: yes *sigh*
R: then we were!
J: we were what?
R: and guys whatever you do, if you’re gonna nibble don’t bite! No no no no biting.
E: yeah same rules apply to teeth.
J: if we gyrate and fuck your face it’s not our problem either… just hang on and let us get ours.
R: she’s right, you’ll know if we come, especially if you’ve got your finger inside us by then… you should feel the contractions happening. INSIDE the pussy.
J: right, but if we quiver and arch isn’t that the same?
R: well yes but we have to be moaning too.
J: no moaning no orgasm… interesting, you have a point.
R: I love you Jess
J: love you two
E: I step away for a minute and you guys are ready to get a room… that figures
J: I said you TWO! can i come over then?
Okay, well... Dammit I tried.
Sorry I couldn't get all medical terms and details on ya. Hopefully in the interim you can start with these helpful suggestions.
No spitting. and no slapping either.
posted by Everything Nice at 8:21 PM
87 Comments:
"It's just a penis… it will respond no matter what."
Hey Everything Nice, thanks for bringing this up. I think it's true that almost anything you can do with your mouth feels nice (not the incisors, though, unless you *really* know what you're doing and even then...) but that's not the same thing as a guaranteed orgasm.
The best piece of advice I ever heard given to one gender from the other was "do pretty much the opposite of what you like." If you're a man that means, for instance, be gentle and (unless she tells you or grabs your ears and starts moving you) don't change what you're doing when she's just about to come. If you're a woman that means, among other things, use a lot more pressure and (lubricated) friction than you'd ever let someone use on you and give him a little more tempo and intensity as he gets closer.
That's not everything by a long chalk, and as you say "practice, practice, practice" and as I say "listen for feedback and don't feel shy about asking for feedback before or after (though maybe not during.)"
---
Your cunnilingus interview was really helpful. And sexy. I learned a few new things I hadn't known before that I'll use next chance I get. I also learned about a couple of other things I'd never considered and probably wouldn't try because they're really dumb. (Do some guys really bypass the clit and try to do straight tongue insertions instead?)
Anyway thanks again.
Take care,
figleaf
can you gals just stop talking about sucking dick and just DO it?
if you do, I promise to return the favor ... and listen to any and all instructions.
Emma
Love that article. The slapping pussy thing doesn't work for me either.
It is something men have picked up from porn. I was watching a guy in a DVD do that just last night :)
Another important point to make is that the guy/girl places his chin on the bed when doing this. Otherwise he ends up drowning in your juices. LOL.
Suze X
Emma
BTW, didn't get chance to visit yesterday. Love the avatar you look as hot as you sound :)
Suze X
I have to agree with figleaf on this one! "don't change what you're doing when she's just about to come" I hate that! Why? You see it's working, I make it very obvious as to when I'm about to cum... so if it's working why change it? I'll never understand that one. I have hit someone for doing that to me. Not nice at all.
Loved all the points that you made. All perfect!
And the whole blow job thing. Sersly, every guy is different! It's driving me nuts! But... the last guy liked that!
The best thing I can say is... get to know your partner and pay attention to body language! Now if it's a one night stand you don't have to worry about any of this. You are probably drunk off your ass, the sex is hot and wild and anything will feel good…
ahh...finally...some good advise...i needed that...from now on..im gonna do everything the RIGHT way...and dzer's right...actions speak louder than words! so stop talkin and start doin!
Gigi - that is so true! the pain!
I dunno gigi ... I had a stripper step from the stage and basically sit and grind on my stubbly head until she came ... so some seem to like a little bit of stubble now and then ... LOL
Ok. I'm not bragging here or anything but I do all of the good stuff you and your friends mention in the pussy eating conversation. Plus a few other things. I just naturally assumed that all men that enjoyed eating pussy knew what to do.
Does this mean most men don't? No wonder my wife praises me. I've always had a hard time accepting her compliments because I assumed all men could do it and she was just humoring me.
Odd.
Apparently I DO have skills. And I thought I was lying all this time!!
Heh
*throws a yellow flag at Dan*
misappropriation of a trademarked "Heh" ... 15 yards!
Heh
LOL
LMAO! Great comments you guys and gals!
Alright then:
Fig- Welcome! Wow I hope you visit more because your comment kicks ass. I couldn't agree with you more on all of your points, and it's exactly what I would have said had I not been distracted by visualizing eating Jess out.
YES. Unfortunately some guys do bypass the clit and go straight for the gusto... and I emphasize unfortunately.
Dzr - Love the flag drop. How much yardage did he lose on that? First and 10 at the 70? heh.
Well dammit, move closer.
Dozr, uhhh... some chick came on your head? Jesus dude. wow.
Suze - Thanks for the compliment! I love ya, truly...yes, chin on bed is good... unless you're working the clit and hood which sometimes lays upright. again... heh.
They do like to spank in porn, don't they? *shaking head* just stupid.
Guys please don't get your tips from porn... please.
Mr. Naughty - Okay, let's just pretend you're biased. LOL.
Okay, you're not. I do suck dick like a champ :)
You naughty bitch, I think you'll have me in bed early tonight.
Lil- HOLLA! Drunk hot wild sex? Lil damn, anytime you want to hit the bars with me you just let me know. heh.
Sid - LOL... behave! Can we at least tell you what our names are first? sheesh.
Gigi - Yeah, stubble can definetly be a problem... for both participants actually (if you think about it). And let's just say there's a huge difference between facial hair and stubble.
Facial hair is grown out and most times soft, even when trimmed.
Stubble, fucking ouch... go shave you dirty bastard.
Dan - You stud! Yes yes, the wife is truthful... never doubt the wife honey. If we don't like the way you're doing shit we tell you, right?
I mean, it takes a lot of time, money, and energy to divorce ya... so we normally just let it fly.
Hmmm. Really, you do that huh? Show me.
Shut up and get on your knees Murph, let me give you something to chew on.
naughty one: I guess I give head in a number of ways LMAO
Now that we know how to give Murph a hand job... I feel better as well.
Thanks for that stunning insight there, it's nice to know that you can admit your balls are connected to your brain.
And uh, yeah.. well duh about the letting go after the job is done. You mean you actually encountered a woman that did that? Hmm, perhaps she was disappointed with your volume.
LMFAO DOZR!!! GOOD ONE!
I dunno Blondie, apparently opening it up and spitting in it was cool at one time too.
Anybody that feels they HAVE to spit in the hole...
well, just flawed.
But yeah, if there's anyone out there that likes to spank it (with your hand), please let us know so we can begin to understand why.
Hmmm... very instructional, and remedial. I'm with Dan. As long as I project sexy focused intent mixed with sensitivity on my darling's pussy, teasing and driving her pleasure in waves, she comes...hard...box my ears off with her thighs hard, everytime.
[gloat gloat gloat]
But I have a question for the girls/guys. What about the 69? Any tips and comments on that one?
I think THAT's a whole nother post Helskel.. hmmm.
Well, wouldn't that be a culmination of both oral sex tip posts? Or do you know something we don't... ?
OOOHHH. Actually, I'm starting to get it now, the thought of how it differs that is.
LOL I wish I was getting it... other ways.
Actually Gigi, it was a handful of guys that began it all... so yes.
It all started with the "gee, well a penis is no great mystery to figure out... now pussy eating, that's a mystery... it's hard to make a girl cum.. and we never really know how you like it..."
blah blah blah.
So your question is answered. Yes.
I've never understood the spitting thing in porn. WTF!
My techniques are as described and the results have always been fantasic. It is one of my favorite carnal activities and a good bed time snack as well.
Now can one of your lovely ladies with the good Hand Job and Blow Job skills come over and demonstrate for my wife? I love her to death but she, well she sucks at it. All I get is "Don't cum in my mouth", then one or two minutes of her mouth on my dick and a couple of squeezes of the nut sack and she's done. The longest she has ever done it is 5 minutes.
gigi: I don't suck!
wv: jfukn
Were you calling me a liar?
Ouch!!
Eddie - your wife is a perfect example of what I was trying to demonstrate yesterday in Sass's comments.
Just because it's a penis, doesn't mean it always is good and right."
Dicks. The other white meat.
Sometimes women just don't get it.
Eddie, if Mr. Naughty gives permission I will come over and show your wife how it's done.
It's the least I can do to soothe the pain still lingering from that disappointing Giants/Vikings game.
Dan - I have word verification envy.. thanks.
Blondie - 30 minutes is good!
PERFECT.
Lemme know when you want to hit the bars! I need a good vacation... well another "good" vacation this year. Hehe! We can meet in Key West.
Warm weather - check
Kick ass clubs - check
White sandy beach - check
Hot guys - check
I just love that place!
K, back to blow jobs... you know you've done it correctly when they are dizzy and can't stand up after! Hehe!
Horsn - Wintergreen Life Savers... mmmmm tingly! Hehe!
Body language is the key!
Blondie - I have no doubt in my mind the guy wasn't lying to ya.
Lil - Key West sounds good, let me know when to book it.... just, not during hurricane season love...
Horsn - LOL I get the life savers thing!!! Good thinking there!
Uhhh, k.. well... next morning: wash your face before you kiss me, I kinda like it fresh (if you know what I'm sayin)
Well, my wife certainly does not get it.
For the record I go down on her without prodding and love every minute of it (I kept at it once for at least 20 minutes). I know she loves it too!
How come no one has mentioned the issue of women who want men to go down on them but refuse to return the favor?
I've met a few in my time...even those who refuse both.
As you can probably guess, those relationships didn't last very long!
Ladies - you need to get eaten out with a Wintergreen life saver or peppermint altoid. Holy shit.
Pussy sparks alright! If you haven't had this done.. it's time.
Dan - I ALWAYS RETURN THE FAVOR.. well, if I'm given the chance that is. All too often there's a need to just take that fucker after he's done satisfying me.
Can't help it. IF he doesn't shove it in my face there's nothing I can do about it.
Castu- come here, let me snowball ya! LOL
BAND CAMP?
Gigi - flames shoot out your pussy for all the right reasons.
I was once asked if I smoked after sex.
My reply was "depends on the partner."
No, but she's about to.
Yes Gigi, those are pussy sparks.
BLONDIE--- YES. YOU ARE.
I encountered pussy sparks on accident. In high school, trying to hide the fact that I skipped 5th period to smoke pot with my friends... bought a roll of wintergreen breath mints to go back to class.
Chewed on them all day, after school went home with girlfriend... didn't even think about ditching the mint... started working on her and BAM. SPARKS.
That's when I discovered the sensation of mint on pussy too cause she just about hit her first multiple... nice.
Gigi - I was stoned off second hand smoke. God love my hippy parents.
Horsn, you sexy bitch you.
I'm writing all this shit down. Pussy sparks are a new one on me!
Damn. I hope there's not going to be a pop quiz on all this. I haven't been to class in weeks. Additionally, I'm reluctant to print out on the community printer the last five weeks worth of posts to catch up.
EN came out of the closet, Blondie changed her name, Sass solved the CBC strike... Murph, you're still hangin' in there. New people. Half-nekkid Thursdays. It's all too much for this Boomer.
Where's the cork screw?
Pussius Sparkius. Could be a syndrome I'd like to have.
Just wanted to say that.
Gigi- Holla! You seem like a west coast gal... I have an air mattress.
Eddie - yes, take notes... tell your wife to pop one too, almost the same effect on guys... ALMOST.
MING! Damn I missed your gray.
Murph - fucker.. drop the room, you're not getting in. Keep up the pressure and I won't cam it for ya either.
LMAO Gigi!
Shit Blondie, perhaps I wasn't supposed to tell.
HEY! We could charge a fee and broadcast it!!!
Perhaps use my paypal acct...
Right. no viewers. It'd be hard to see with the lights off anyway...
can't really do pussy sparks in the light.
What the hell are pussy sparks? I know I've been away for a while but it seems like a lifetime.
Emma when are you going to do that podcast thing? The world is waiting.
Suze X
right, I'm makin' t-shirts for that:
VOTE FOR MURPH
You should be set Gigi, he's an average male, except he's perfect.
he should have ya sparkin' in no time flat.
IM 100! BIOTCHES!
fuck, anybody out there wanna silkscreen my t's?
Suze - scroll up in the comments and you'll know what pussy sparks are.
And I'm working on finding time for podcasting.
yikes.
Murphy Wurphy... *rubbing bald head and planting face in breasts*
relax.
meellllooooo.
JESUS, I step away for a minute and look what happens!
Okay, time out for the both of you... go to seperate corners until you're ready to apologize.
and Murph, don't make me start spanking either.
silly kids.
Well FUCK then.
If anybody wants to talk about anything else that's cool.
But so far I've pissed nobody off...
and I'm not getting spoken to.. so
wtf.
(I shoulda gone with Gigi to Costco)
*sigh and shaking head*
Murph - sometimes...
K, GROUP HUG!
Then Blondie and I will do some pussy sparking!
Ummmmm......
*scratches (upper) head*
What the heck did I miss? I leave for a while and all hell breaks loose in here? Why can't you all be civilized without me? Is it because I'm such a calming presence?
Thought so.
Play nice. Together.
With a camera.
B- Murphy? Read? LMAO. Okay, Maxim maybe... and I'm just playing up to his ego there.
No Dan - It's all good. But I must say it's not quite the same without ya.
Can't stay away from the new gal, eh?
Horsn- :) Well yeah, but here... have a wintergreen life saver buddy.
EN: Alright. Put aside your jealousy. She's not my type. She might be for some, but not for me. That's never happening. Never.
I won't say why she's not my type 'cause that would get me in trouble I'm sure but...anyway. Enough said!
YOU are my type though.
And Blondie....*sigh*
Come hither...
Damn! I missed out on the pussy sparks and the group hug. I'm so deprived! I some love… :(
Dan - Why is it that a question about another female always insinuates jealousy?
Maybe I'M interested! FOCUS.
he he Horsn, you're naughty.
Murph - I thought masturbation for you was manual labor. So really, that would be every day... right? And well, I had no idea Business Weekly had a funnies section.
Here's a grope and a hug for you lil...
EN: I was just hoping to coax some jealousy out of you! LOL Forgive me?
Awe! Thanks Dan! You are just too sweet! Hehe!
lil...I bet you taste sweet too! er...I mean...Thanks!
I just got a pretty funny cartoon through email that I posted on my blog....
It's the typical male....
Why yes I do... I mean... shit! you know what I mean
Your BILF site is making me some money! LOL! Fake, but still making me money!
Do I get a fake percentage of that money? I must get a kickback of some kind.
Suggestions?
I must say it is rather nice to know that I am not as ignorant as I thought I was about this topic. ;) Thanks to you ladies for a reinforced education!
LMFAO!
OMG E - I just pissed my pants and got an education all at the same time! LOL but seriously -- like someone else posted - reinforced what I knew already!
-kb
Green - no prob man, any time you need re-assurance in that arena you just stop by.
I had no idea this post would be so popular... silly me.
KB! WTF!!! Everytime I see your happy little Southpark face I get all excited.... can't help it.
Last time I got an education and pissed my pants was when that bitch of a 4th grade teacher wouldn't let me up to go to the bathroom when I asked.
That taught him to make me wait. Fucker never said no again.
Ok. So obviously a discussion on oral sex is an inspiring thing.
142 comments! jebus!
of course, the conversation eventually degenerated to
"Suck my Dick!" and "Eat Me!"
but all's fair in Lust and Skirmishes
Right Helskel, it's a perfect example of what happens to people when they're stuck at work READING about Oral Sex, and not able to just go GET IT.
So, my thesis is almost complete!
LMAO. Mwahhahahah.
You serious may have something there, E.
The Theory of Remote Licking.
Here, have anudder...
no no no, I don't do beastiality!
Uh, Remote Licking.. we should co-author it.
I hate having to sleep sometimes.
And can I just say, "you’ll know if we come, especially if you’ve got your finger inside us by then… you should feel the contractions happening. "
That whole contraction thing? Yeah, nothing short of the hottest feeling ever. Hey guys! Why stop at *1 2 goo* when you can make her do this & actually have a chance at a second assignation?! Mutual gratification- what a concept.
Course, I fall short with those who can have multiples. Once she comes, there is nothing I can do to stop myself from joining. I'd like to control that or have multiples myself... is that too ambitious?
Actually Green, manly multiples envolve stroking the prostrate...
from the INSIDE.
sure you wanna go there?
sorry... INvolve..
Jesus, just thinking about bringing on some manly mutliples shot my typing ability.
And btw, you guys scream like girls when you get those too!!!
holy effin shit
152 comments???????
geesh
k... I'm in the "It's all good camp" of it's awful hard to fuck up a blow job... however
I did get one from a girl with braces (well... more than one teehee) and... it wasnt the most pleseant of experiences... but I still effin came!!!
romey
Lack of experience unfortunately but the idea of my manly multiples is not something that I'm likely to ignore.
NO!! can't self it! Gotta go see the girl tonight! *pitching tent* I'd hate to dissapoint.
and... yeah, a bit nervous perhaps but I think I'd go there. As far as I know, I'll be worm food before too long. And what would a hedonist be without exploring pleasure experience?
Damn, I hate it when I miss the orgy!
Romey- First of all, I just wanna say.... damn. Thanks for checking out my spot!
eerrr.
and you make me want to get braces.
Green- right. Man multiples are not a myth guys... stay tuned for that. Hedonist eh? *snicker*
Let me know when you're ready, I'll get the lube!
Jenn - you can always come late to the orgy, it's considered 'fresh meat.' ahem. sorry.
Hey Jenn, can you put down the stop sign though? everyone thinks that they've exceeded capacity in my comments section and hit the end.
No really, I like it when you stop by... even if it's late.
jesus christ! is eating pussy that fucking difficult!?! fucking concentrate on the clit dammit! you know you got her going when the asshole starts winkin' at ya! it's good if yer "flutter tongued". women (especially my ol' lady) enjoy that skill. for amateurs, i reccomend trying the alphabet in cursive. that uppercase 'q' can really get 'em going.
SHANE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO HAVE YOUR ILLEGITIMATE CHILD!!
Don't tell me where you live, it's best I don't know.
Between you and Murph, possibly the two most entertaining posts I've read in a long time. Fuckin' outstanding.
what can i say, i'm a fucking prodigy.
all hail shane for his pussy eating skillz and that great finger.
Drill- can we do that, like...
NOW? and uh, do the q for atleast 20 minutes.
Wes - Thanks! Drop by any time, hopefully I can keep ya entertained... a tad.
Though-
At first I thought you were gonna say something completely different. I reserved a spot between Murph and I for the restraining order...
I could have certainly gone that way, but I wanted to save something for future posts, heh heh
His likes to go in the order of...
P-B-R
hedonist never dissapoints. Silly man.
*grin and a wink*
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