TG to da FFF

So, are we all making it to Friday okay?
Unscathed?
Some more than others?

Ask yourself, are you ready for the weekend?

Because it's upon us whether you like or not.

The weekend for me dictates Christmas shopping.
I have yet to do it...
I know, I know.
Normally I don't procrastinate this much but my 'other' workload is hefty and it feels strange to flip-flop sometimes.

What's a flip-flop?
No buttah, not the SHOE. But technically, is a flipflop really a shoe per se?

Anyway.. The Flip flopping, and what it is:
Dude, I have kids... And a normal life sometimes... Remember? LOL.

A Flip-Flop is a term alternate lifestyler's and swingers use. To do a total role reversal at the drop of a hat, no matter what. Sometimes even emotionally. Sure we're highly sexual beings, but at the same time we're respectable business people (some leaders), and mommies and daddies.

It takes some hard core practice, but those familiar speak up... Because I give you mad props... It's hard shit.

Still unsure of a Flip-Flop... hmmm.
Case in point,
and these next topics are meant to humor you... Please don't tell me I need a vacation after reading these! This is every day life for me people, so a vacation could potentially undo every brick I've worked to stonewall my sanity. LOL.

Got it? *laughing my ass off*

*ahem*
Okay, situations in which Flip-flopping ability is tested on a red-line basis:

1. Imagine writing hard core porn while listening to *Edited for EMma quiz*

2. Doing a Strap-on review and helping my kid with homework.

OKAY That came out TOTALLY WRONG.
Stop with the thoughts that I'm wearing a strap on with a pencil clutched between my teeth, flogging my kid if he gets the wrong answer.

That's disturbing... And you need help.

*sigh*
Meaning: I just spent a better part of the afternoon trying on different apparatus; some I was (uhh) used to some I was not. Sure, I learn new things at my favorite little sex shops, they know me on a first name basis... Surprised? Of course not.

Sometimes when I come home after researching a certain product and I feel I just have to get it down on paper... Or lap top... My son comes over and needs help with his homework.
My kid comes first, always. always. I don't care if I have a super-awesome thought evolving in my brain... it goes on hold for my kids. Tucked away.

So you take a deep breath.
And try to remember how to divide fractions... While measurements and diameters of DONGS still scurry in the back of your mind...

Uhhh... No. What was the article about again???




3. Reading Bob the Builder and kisses goodnight.. But there's a review to do! Flip on the porn baby, it's gonna be a long night!

My husband is better at this than I am.
Sorry but I've tried not to have a dirty mind when reading bed time stories.. I just can't do it. I mean, if Bob the Builder is using his hammer to nail Wendy's bucket... I'm just gonna giggle.
Giggling knocks 10 points off for Me because it means I've gotten the little one going all over again... And now my husband has to start over at calming him down.

I love my kids. They remind me of me. *sigh* But I digress...

After having that experience with my kids, and being Donna fucking Reed... I come in to my little bedspace and flip on 'naughty Nancy' or 'I can't believe I took the whole thing' and actually have to critique it in an adult way. The same concept for people that say 'buh-bye' to professional clientele over the phone (because you're so used to using it with your kid, right?)... K, you're laughing I know it.

Back to porn, right. Takes about 15 minutes on average for me to warm up and not feel all... Weird...
like this one time after I had to flip flop quickly, I found myself wondering why Barney didn't have a dick. And if he did, where did he hide it.

No, I wasn't really paying any attention to the movie at hand.... Bad transition, bad.
I'm still working on this skill to this day. Like I said, my husbands so much better at it... Must be a guy thing to shut off emotions and actions like a well used Zippo lighter snuffs it's flame.


Switching gears here...

So yeah, Christmas shopping this weekend. I'll try to remember not to shop for GeoTrax at Victoria Secrets. And uh, no sex toys for my in-laws.

Right so, if any of you all get a fucking fruitcake on accident, it means my grandmother received your clone-a-Willy... So sorry in advance.

Being that it's Triple FFF, and It would never be the same without some Emma facts , I'll break down some really interesting pieces mixed with just random thoughts...Deep even:

*edited out for Emma Quiz*


There's no way Matthew McConaughey is the sexiest man. I object, and wish to approach the bench on that one. I call serious bullshit as just posting this picture is making me want to play in traffic.

Sorry for those Matthew lovers. not for me.

--What really happens if you mix a silicone lubricant, with a silicone toy? Should be interesting to find out.

--Why is there a cat licking it's ass right behind my head, but yet I reflect on silicone toys and lubricants and their hazardous culmination?

Whoo hoo!