I make good on this shit, K?!?! (HNT)

There is an HNT here, if you can get through the story...


So even though I'm freaking tired as hell and wearisome from my lack of good sleep. YES, since my husbands been sick I sleep on the couch to allow him room to spread out, sweat, adjust, toss and turn... etc. Well that and I try to molest him if I get too close no matter the situation... sooo.

Couch for me people, lumpy.ass.couch.suks.ass.hole. BUT, It reclines so we cant get rid of it until we replace it.. how about them cookies.

Speaking of cookies... as some of you may, or may not know- I was looking to place some bets on the Superbowl (nobody would bet me, I kept winning)... so Romey and Capn Scumbag stepped up to the plate and made me an offer I couldn't refuse. Well mostly Romey since really Capn just wants me for my body and can have me any time...
I'm convinced Romeo likes me for my mind. *BURP*

K here's the equation: Romey (East coast/ Pittsburgh) + Emma (Seahawks/West Coast) = The Bet that almost made me not want to bet... A full frontal shot for HNT *gasp*

I was bold, thinking that Pittsbarph had run outta steam, but alas my ass... they invited the refs to the after-party orgy with a promise to get them laid... sooooooo.

Nothing Seattle could do. Roethlisberger setting the ball just over the goal line during that tackle though? Suh-weet and made it incredible obvious there were gonna be some special kind of women around 10pm with their names all over it.

But I digress, like every body up there in Seattle mourned the shut down and defeat of the bowl, I perplexed a way to get over my fear (and my thirty year old breasts), and just fucking do it.

I lost. I follow through. I'm like that.

FIRST though, I had to fly to the Pitts to figure out what the fuck really happened last Sunday before I could justify a fair deal on this bet. I mean, if the game was swayed... there's no way to convince my boys (breasts) that they would be public.

So I hopped my boss's jet and plummeted into all that was the Burgh.

Once arriving I met with Art Rooney, who looked like he'd break into pieces if I sat on his lap for the ol' let me dial your phone for you routine...

Well, that and has any body noticed, he looks like Jon big boote from Buckaroo Bonzai?!!??!

We talked, I offered him geritol and pepto... it was cool like that. We were off to the stadium where the Steelers gang were still doing interviews and cleaning up their shit for the season. Rothlisberger was out on the field running in circles... I figured I'd better start there.

So, in major fashion I slipped out of my business skirt, chucked my glasses, and sported my crop top and sweats to join him.

I did. we ran. he got dizzy. We stood for awhile and talked.

I always wanted to know why the Steelers were called the Steelers, I mean.. ummm. Well, actually I know why but playing ditzy around football players is great fun. Soo.. the conversation went a little something like this:

ME: You feeling better now?

ROETH: Yes thanks, I appreciate the pillow too.

ME: No problem, but don't sweat on my breasts... and what's with the beard?

ROETH: Oh, it's good luck

ME: No, it's hideous.. shave it.

ROETH: So, why are you here anyway?

ME: Oh, well you see I bet if I lost the bowl I would give a full frontal HNT for my friend Romeo and well, Im kinda disturbed that the Hawks didn't win? Got anything on that? I mean, you have to admit that you didnt really make that touch down.

ROETH: Yeah, well...

*Flash a bit of tits and swipe on the forehead, it's like truth serum*

ROETH: I, I, I ... jesus fine fine... Actually that Jensen guy called me and told me I had to come through, and then he sent me your blog link and I, I... well, we had to bribe the refs.

ME: That's what I thought! So you just want my tits then too, eh?

ROETH: Yeah, sorry Emma... We had to take one for the team and do it to win it.

So I get up, and help him up.. and go to leave:

ME: K buddy, I don't know if I can do the full frontal since you cheated... but, I'll see what I can do. And well, as far as Romeo calling you, I'll deal with him in my own way.

As I was leaving Roethlisberger prayed silently to the gods that I would fulfill my full frontal agenda, and that Romeo wouldn't get in too much trouble.
And that HE wouldn't get an ass whoopin' for narc-ing Romey and the refs out too.

I blew him a kiss or two on the way out... and then ran into Bettis.

BETTIS: Hey pretty lady.

ME: Hey you big sexual chocolate mother fucker, what's up?

BETTIS: Just about to catch some lunch, want to join me? I could use some arm candy.

ME: Shit Bettis, to you I'd be a bracelet. And you eat women like me whole, for snack, jesus what do you weigh now?

BETTIS: *laughing* I'm thinking that was a no, but you'd make a pretty bracelet. Are you sure you won't reconsider?

ME: Absolutely, it would be too easy for you to hide my body. Thanks any way. Can you point me towards the exit?

Again, ditzy... I know where the exit is. He did after the boob glance and the smirk... and I was off to fly back home. Until I ran into Reed and Polamalu. Of course they hit on me, but I kept a strong defense by questioning why one of Reed's legs are bigger than the other, and why Polamalu insists on still believing 'hair is power'... shhesh.

So here I sit, wondering if I really, really should just throw my boys out there to the world for and be the good loser I am. And I think NO...

But then I think of Romey's puppy dog face and his jibes aboout me not following through, I cringe like well.. jesus. I just can't justify going through with a bet on a crooked game!!! Especially when Romeo was behind it all along!!! And why did he want to see MY tits in particular? They're nothing compared to those hotties he dates.

But then I realize that a bet, is a bet. And I lose well. Always have.... So.. I decided I would just... well do... the thing... I ... promised?

WITH CONTIGENCIES!!! Yea, yea. I know those Steelers like looking at themselves just as much as they like looking at my tits... so I did a double whammy for em.. and you Romey. You pittsburgh fuck ;) God damn Johansen men and their connections.

I should kick his ass right now.


Okay Romeo, and every body else who didn't think the Em-meister was Everything Nice when it came to losing.. Here's my end of the bargain. Full frontal on the crooked side since really and admittantly, Seattle got the shaft.

I will miss the football season, because really I love the game. Well, and the way they pat each others asses all the time... HOT!

*sniff* good-bye 2005-06 football season... I *sniff* will miss you.

And holy shit Roethlisberger... SHAVE.

Happy HNT Everyone, hope you enjoyed!


If you want to learn more about HNT, click on the rolling box and talk to my big sweet HNT daddy, Osbasso!