Cracked HNT

-- Today was weird. Word.

-- It made me almost nauseous today to not be there with you. And it gets increasingly worse every time I think about it.

-- Where is Shawn and why hasn't he answered my calls?

-- I miss my pubic hair sometimes.

-- I'm sitting on the living room floor completely naked for no other reason than because I can since my oldest son is away on spring break and the other child is asleep. This is fun.

-- It's a decision you need to make. Which is the best road to take for you? Is it a lose/lose situation? Or do you think no matter which way it goes you'll win?

-- I think I misread the story, is the other player a man? The 'towering' thing confused me.

-- No really, why does only one nipple get hard sometimes? Does nothing for my aesthetics.

-- I wish you'd say something.

-- It's nice to have sunshine every day now.

-- I'm back on a lot of emails and commitments, and to those of you that I owe, I apologize. And yes, I feel like an ass.

-- I now have my fishing license, that means I'm ready for fishing season to start. I'm stoked, and after I re-line my rod, prep my reel and buy my bait... Games on, and I'm going to fish my ass off.

Speaking of ass.

The last few weekends didn't work out so well for fishing with the ladies, but we're due and we know this... So after this anniversary weekend, the girls and I are planning a day to go.

Yes, that means fishing story season begins... Shit like "Remember that one time when you hooked that big sumvabitch and fell out of the boat trying to get 'er done?"

or
"I'll never forget that one time you thought you could make it to the shitter without a flash light..."

or
"How many times did we flash our tits that day?"

The girls and I have a habit (when we fish) of being as un-feminine and generally irritating as possible. I mean, hell, the name of the boat is "The Pink Taco" for christs sake!
We've gone so far as to fake a stand up piss with our beer bottles as innocent bystanders sweep by in their little baycraft teasers, waiting to get a reaction from the prudes. Some actually trying to check out if we really have a penis... As if the tits didn't tip you off, idiots.

We talk like sailors.
We drink bad beer.
We pester people.
We ARE white trash.
It's a beautiful thing.

We even play dirty and con the sweet spots:
"Hey, they biting pretty well over here?" *batting eyelashes*
"Yeah, mostly over in that spot... You ladies want a beer?"
*queue hand gesture to J for boat pullage uppage*

Tie er up to their boat and yer guzzlin' for free people. Yep, we get beer and catch fish, all for the price of the guys wanting eye candy.

I love guys on the water, so vulnerable. Anyway.

I'm sure as the season starts there'll be more about this and that, and our pesky public pestering for 2006. Wonder what kind of embarrasing shit I'll get into this year? I can only imagine.

Seriously, it's a good time fishing with us married gals and you're all invited if we can get enough boats...
IF, on the other hand you spot us in the water this season, make sure to waive and offer up your sweet spot to us.... We'll fish with ya, stroke your ego's whatever....

...until the beer runs out.

Until then, I thought I would prep my fishing ass crack for the season. That way it will be prime for 'free beer lurings' and BA's when we've had too many.

Happy HNT, and remember kids... Crack kills.
(fuck yeah mini me, I still got it)



If you want to learn more about HNT, click on the rolling box and talk to my big sweet HNT daddy, Osbasso!