The long and the short of it.

I have to deal with my issues constructively.
I have to deal with my issues constructively.

I keep telling myself that. FYI.

But the term constructive is in the eye of the beholder, and different to every body... So what may be constructive to me, would not be to you.
Therefore, I lay my issues out on the table now, perhaps you'll help me think of a new and creative construction-type someting to offer up. Or an opinion.

*shrug*

1. I need a girlfriend. Not a whirlwind love affair... but a woman who will have casual sex with me and not cling or want to own me. Really, is there such a woman? Because dammit you're for me and I could really use you. *snicker* use you heh.

I think that's what all men want... but I'm a woman... hmmm.

I dunno exactly what it is, but I miss the feeling of a woman next to me. The difference of the way a woman kisses in contrast to a man. The softness, the sensuality... the warm-fuzzy giggle bond.
I'm craving it... a lot. So much so that I'm constantly churning the visuals in my mind of the way she'd smell, taste... move.

It's a good feeling. Happy warm feeling like the way the sunlight came down on the bed that one time, got us all sweaty and heated... you were in pigtails.

I hate you for that memory.

2. I miss Red. But I can't call her because I can't enable the psycho in me to adore the psycho in her. I truly understand the equation of it all, and it's cyclical.

3. I'm horny as fuck. Which is always an issue... But really, today (monday) was more insane than most because I was provoked. Sideline tackled... I call a foul on that game and want a rematch.

4. Fruit roll-up issue is always an issue. I still contend that I'm thankful no hair pulling is involved. Ask me again why I wear panties sometimes... uhh.. BECAUSE OF TODAY. Thanks, nuff said.

5. Yes, i said no hair pulling. Because that was my husbands request, and if he wants hardwoods instead of carpet who am I to tell him no. Furthermore, this weekend is the big wedding anniversary and I'm doing shit his way. *ahem*

Bow down to the baldness bitches. Right.

6. K, wedding anniversary... and I need to decide which dress I'm wearing. I know, I know it's just a huge pain in the ass to ask for wardrobe advice, but being that it's a 50/50 split between friends and others who'd seen them,

I think I'll do a vote! OOOHH FUN!

So, we're going to wine country and staying at a resort.
You know what that means? WINE TASTING!!!!
Fuck yeah, I'm all about the wines... And then some!

*sigh* Yes yes, spa package... two person jacuzzi tub, rose pedals on the bed. NICE. k ahem.
So.. We will be having dinner at a top 10 in the US restaurant and well, I want to be appropriate of course. So here's our choices:

A. black dress - I just bought this. I needed a new little black number for fundraisers and a couple of 'ahem' "parties" we'll be attending this summer.

Yes, I do formal fundraisers (don't act shocked fuckers). I'm a little more renown than some of you may think -- err, locally anyway.
Galas in the summer are fun, and there's quite a bit of them for the next few months. So a girl has to be ready for it, right? Right.

I have back up dresses but this one takes the cake for certain.

Its classy for one. It shimmers, the bustline rocks, and I love the silkiness of it. This dress makes my pussy wet all by itself. Makes me feel sexy and comfortable (because it's black). The shoes rock with it... I must confess... I love the shoes!
(T.. check out those strappies!! *pom poms*)


-and the contender?-


b. "THE" dress - The sentimental sure-fire.

Okay, I wore this dress 7 years ago to my husband and I's very first romantic get away. We had dinner at a french bistro, drank a few bottles of wine... The dress has history, let's put it that way.

So through a baby, physical struggles, and a little tragic illness here and there I've accomplished wearing a garment I wore 7 years ago... better than I wore it 7 years ago (when I was 24..*tear*).

I'm an egotistical bitch aren't I? LOL. Actually I'm more humble than you may think, no really....anyway.

"THE" dress was a jaw dropper in 1999, and still serves it's purpose because I'll be damned if my husbands mouth didn't fall open when he saw me slip into it this last weekend. It had been in a bag for the last 7 years only because I figured I'd never fit into it again, but god damnit I loved the dress, I did.

And here it is, reincarnated.

The dress is imported, it is french. It is linen and cotton so it breathes, it needs to be worn bra less (which is a plus for the early spring breeze nipple hardening), but also needs to be worn with stockings and a garter... because my one insecurity is my legs.

And shhhh. I fucking hate them.

HA. not so egotistical now... am I?

Like all women, I want him to get a rager just looking at me. Watching him eye fuck me out of the dress all the way through dinner.

Let me know what you think, because honestly I just cant decide and I need to pack this shit up.

(Sorry the pictures are shitty, and don't give me crap about how messy the bed is either, it was laundry day).