Yes, I bought cheese for my wine

Well, let it be said that when the husband and I celebrate something, we go "balls to the walls" with it. I'm not one for half-assing something and neither is the husband, so in classic style we took advantage of our weekend gluttony.

Truth is, we were smashed by 11am.
And per the shitty mathmatical breakdown I've provided it's fairly clear as to why.

First Winery: (1 glass gewurztraminer) + 5 tastings = 1 limited reserve cellar 2003 Reisling purchase. $65

Second Winery: (1 glass Carbernet Sauvignon) + 5 tastings = 1 bottle of Syrah, 1 bottle chardonnay private vintage, cheese, 1 bottle Merlot -- tipsy, but spending $98.52 happily.

Third Winery: (1 glass cranberry reisling) + 5 tastings = 1 bottle of cranberry reisling, late harvest chardonnay 2002, 2 bottles raspberry reisling, 1 bottle special reserve syrah-- How the fuck much was that again? $157.96? Awesome!

Where's the car? Did we drive here? I have no clue but I'm hot and stripping in the parking lot... even though its 40 degrees and raining.

Food, we should eat. Mexican.

Mexican Restaurant: 1 strawberry daquari which I swear had NO alcohol. -- There was food, but I don't remember what that was... $16.59

Fourth Winery (1 glass Chardonnay) + 3 tastings = 1 bottle Reserve white reisling, more cheese -- $28.00 Holy fuck I can't believe we've got a trunk full of wine, maybe we should stop. And jesus you've got a great ass.... oh shit sorry, you're not my husband. But hey, nice ass anyway. whoopsie.

Brewery: (1 glass of favorite ale) + 6 glass tastings (and yes, the tastings are 3/4 glasses of beer)= 1 case of beer. -- $32.21 Okay, that mexican food did nothing for me. I'm fucking wasted, let's go to Tully's for coffee.

Coffee Shop: 1 dt vanilla mocha + 1 pink cookie = drunk phone call and rejuvination.

Room: Open 1 bottle, 2 glasses = best $605 ever spent --Getting ready for dinner and pre-function for the evening. Quick oral sex, pictures that should never have been taken, curling hair while drunk sucks and I'm ready for my $100 a plate meal... but excuse me if I stumble in to proper restaurant and clutz my way to my chair.

And holy fuck the doorman is hot, can I slip him our room key honey? please?

Yes Madame, I wore the black.. Mr.Naughty took this picture for you.

Dinner: 1 glass Vintage merlot + Amaretto coffee + Decadent chocolate hazelnut thingee that wow... was rich but worth the stomach pain -- $214.69 Blurry, happy, buzzed, and thinking maybe that amaretto wasn't the best idea, but still sedate.

One word for the rest of the evening? Yeah, here goes: pliable. Uhh, yeah I totally mean that. Because I'm all sorts of limber when I'm wine drunk vs. the stifness and intensity of a liquor drunk. Wine drunks for me are like kryptonite to Super Man. Seriously.


And from what I remember, there
was a bath, porn, and apparently some hard core fornication because my pussy was not a happy camper this morning.

When asked how many times I came last night, my good husband replies "really, when weren't you cumming? Now, if you'll excuse me... I need to dip my balls in ice water..."

So, uh 8 bottles of wine, one case of beer, and no clue how much cash we spent this weekend later, I guess you could say it was a damn good time... and in classic 'me-style' I soooo wish I could remember it. I guess I'll just have to rely on the pictures.

Happy Monday!