A little bit of Everything

Served with fava beans and a nice Chianti.
(i originally wrote this yesterday... fyi)

I have no mental capacity at this point... 'tis all gone but one node shooting impulses like a mutha. I'm breaking it down into bite size pieces for ya, because that's all I can fucking muster today.
Live with it.

Update time on the break-in.

There's nothing good to say. In fact everything is entirely fucked up at this point. I'd been strong all weekend for the hubby and children... But finally broke this morning and have been an emotional wreck all day.

So unlike myself really... (and if any of you say I'm usually like this then fuck you).

Strange moment in the living room on Friday night though; I was on my knees cleaning up, scrubbing carpet and re-organizing papers (or as well as I could anyway), when husband comes over and .... I'll let you go with that one...


Moving on.

Trying desperately to pack away the mental shit fest over the weekend, I took the time to let my fingers do the walking... And for once not to my vagina. Though, I'm convinced that would make a way better post. I have some funny shit to share, but they all have stories behind them, so here goes:

1. I received an email from a reader that asked my advice on pearl thongs and if they work. I don't own a pair, had heard of them, thought I'd look into it. And then a friend calls as I'm surfing/shopping, conversation went like this:

friend - "whatcha doin?"
me - "shopping for pearl thongs"
friend - "pearl thongs, really? You gonna buy a pair?"
me - "I dunno, looks interesting enough... Promised someone I'd try them."
friend - "are you gonna write a review?"
me - (laughing)"uh, no."
friend - "why not... It'd be cool."

History: I usually review porn on the other site. We have done underwear review in the past (remember that cross-over readers)? I could do a review, but then there would be prompts for panty-review 2005.
Not sure I want to subject myself to that this year.
A lot of crack pulling, chafing, and total carnage for my wonderful privates.

me - "Not sure about this whole review thing... Might be trouble."
friend - "You thinking Panty Review 2005? It could turn into one huh..."
me - "yep. No way I'm subjecting my delicateness to that this year. That was a month of pain I'd rather put behind me."
friend - "yeah but these sound fun"
me - "No way"
friend - "I dare you."

More History: I'm not good with dares. I always do them. Something about having to prove myself... and she knows this so she always has to push the envelope...Jesus.
That being said I bought the damn underwear, and will write a review.

PS - Same friend also dared me on something else last night (she was on a roll), I'll have to share that one with you at a later date.

*sigh*

2. Same email from reader prompted this wonderful discovery... oh yeah baby, this one rocks the house. Or at least, it will.

I ordered one... Will entice my husband to do it for sexual purposes.
How cool will the double penetration be? VERY.
Ah yes, to be fucked in both holes at the same time by HIS dick. Pretty fucking cool actually... can't stop thinking about it.

Sorry, was that TMI? ... fuck you, I didn't think so either.

I'm abrasive tonight... I love it.

3. And last but not least, I stumbled on this and thought that some of my readers would find it useful. Nothing worse than being too big or too small, and I'm sick of listening to you men whine about "it doesn't fit right" or "I wish I could find my size."
blah, blah, blah... here, make it comfy for yourself so you don't ruin the mood.

Wrapping up the post with my own inner-turmoil...

Yes, yes I've had some time to re-persuade myself that sex is the answer for all of my issues. Now if I only felt sexy enough after cleaning blood and shit off my carpets to assault my husband. No amount of hot scolding water and wire brush could have done that. So I go on record for saying that I am 11 days un-sexed... And feeling every agonizing, desperate, maddening minute of it. Yes you fuckers... 11 days.

Thought of calling Red, but didn't feel like being in love.
Thought of calling Jess, but knew I'd hear it from Red.
Thought of calling anybody... Nobody close enough that would just fuck me on a whim.

What's up with you people being so DAMN far away? Can't I get some mercy round here? Shit.
Can't do the whole stranger thing... Not even 11 days desperate. Though, as the clock ticks, the UPS guys get better looking.

Kind-of like the beer goggle effect, only we'll call them time goggles.

My time goggles are on overload and I'm feeling like a Bull Mastiff sizing up everyone's trousers for the right leg. Perhaps beer goggles would help... I feel heavy binge drinking happening tonight.

That's all I got, for now....