Happy Humps, happy happy
Soooo... Yeah, it's Hump Day. I want to welcome everybody to the middle of the week...
Welcome.
I am running off adrenaline and alcohol remnants today since I did not sleep last night. As you know I attended John's Valentines day suare'... Some of you lucky people are familiar with it, some of you newer visitors... Are not. *giggle*
I'm not going to go into details about it (yet), in normal fashion I will write it out and share with you later.... And I will try my best not to tease this time as I go :D
alright. alright.
Here's some quick Q's and Random Thoughts for Wednesday... Hopefully this can carry me over to HNT where I can just paste a picture of my ass and then get all back to normal by Friday... YEAH FRIDAY!!
So....
1. Is there such a thing as over-sexed? I used to think so, now I'm not so sure...
2. What's with women always wanting to put some kind of emotional twist on casual sex? K, not all women... But just the ones that want to 'keep' you.
Ummm... Honey, if there's at least 50 people casually fucking around us... What makes you think we're having a spark-a-thon here?
3. Men don't care what your face looks like if you're on all fours in front of them... Duh.
4. Valentines Day is the kind of holiday that I think will eventually sink to a category 1 in the terms of doing something in married folk category eventually.... I know of more single people that had something nice done for them than any of the married people I talked to last night.
5. I didn't get flowers, candy, or other terms of endearment for Valentines Day... narry an e-card... I got three from people I honestly didn't expect to send one to me... WOW... You people rock... Seriously. Made my day, and since you're the only people that gave Emma some V-day loving... You are now officially on my attentive list.... Which means after we spend the night together, I'll buy you breakfast. I'm a giver like that.
6. Sooo... Is anybody else noticing that the men are lacking game lately, or is it just me? I mean, come on guys Jesus... Hit on me already... Don't shrug and say you got nothin'... At least give it a go... I thought you were aggressive bastards when it came to 'play'. Stop being such a pussy.
Dazzle me dammit! Get out of your funk!!!
7. Tequila Girl and I need to mud-wrestle, but I have a feeling it would get messy... One or the other of us would get naked and I don't think you all could handle that. Perhaps the old Saturday Night Showdown would be an appropriate venue for some thong tugging.
8. Who knew women came in different flavors? Okay I did... But really that's cool because you can mix two and come up with a new flavor all together... like they're doing with gum and shit.
9. Men shave their balls now more than ever. I appreciate that... Makes head easier and hummers rock without the extra fluff.
10. Is it freaking cold enough around here? Ummm 20 degrees helps the hard nipples, but after awhile they just stay permanently stiff and then what? I mean Jesus people, they have a mind of their own today... Can you dial a phone with your nipples? Why yes, yes I can dammit... So if you get a call today and nobody's on the other end... It's either lefty or righty...
Just tell them you love them... In fact, lick the receiver...
** oh, and I almost forgot (or was reminded) that I still have yet to explain what a crop-duster is... Alright well a the crop dusting position is a tricky one to visualize through type (and no you perverts, I don't have photos!!)...
K, man on the bottom... woman on top... but you're not sitting on him, you're like... hovering... k, yes dick inside you... barely... just the very tip... So you want to lean back in this position but not rest on him (so no reverse cowgirl, this is completely different)... no pumping... Reach down and stroke his balls a little while you barely move up and down only taking about an inch or two of him (like just over the head-lip)... keep the lean while you work, it's good for the G-spot... (if you have long hair it will tickle his chest and nipples which apparently rocks for some men...
Anyway.. so you're leaning, barely giving the ol' up and down slide... playing with balls... k, take your fingers and wrap them around the base of his dick that is not inside you.. only two fingers...(thumb and pointer), and stroke him WHILE you fuck him, WHILE your hair tickles his nipples... This is a tri-level experience for him and an ab and thigh work out for you...
Crop duster.**
Welcome.
I am running off adrenaline and alcohol remnants today since I did not sleep last night. As you know I attended John's Valentines day suare'... Some of you lucky people are familiar with it, some of you newer visitors... Are not. *giggle*I'm not going to go into details about it (yet), in normal fashion I will write it out and share with you later.... And I will try my best not to tease this time as I go :D
alright. alright.
Here's some quick Q's and Random Thoughts for Wednesday... Hopefully this can carry me over to HNT where I can just paste a picture of my ass and then get all back to normal by Friday... YEAH FRIDAY!!
So....
1. Is there such a thing as over-sexed? I used to think so, now I'm not so sure...
2. What's with women always wanting to put some kind of emotional twist on casual sex? K, not all women... But just the ones that want to 'keep' you.
Ummm... Honey, if there's at least 50 people casually fucking around us... What makes you think we're having a spark-a-thon here?
3. Men don't care what your face looks like if you're on all fours in front of them... Duh.
4. Valentines Day is the kind of holiday that I think will eventually sink to a category 1 in the terms of doing something in married folk category eventually.... I know of more single people that had something nice done for them than any of the married people I talked to last night.
5. I didn't get flowers, candy, or other terms of endearment for Valentines Day... narry an e-card... I got three from people I honestly didn't expect to send one to me... WOW... You people rock... Seriously. Made my day, and since you're the only people that gave Emma some V-day loving... You are now officially on my attentive list.... Which means after we spend the night together, I'll buy you breakfast. I'm a giver like that.
6. Sooo... Is anybody else noticing that the men are lacking game lately, or is it just me? I mean, come on guys Jesus... Hit on me already... Don't shrug and say you got nothin'... At least give it a go... I thought you were aggressive bastards when it came to 'play'. Stop being such a pussy.
Dazzle me dammit! Get out of your funk!!!
7. Tequila Girl and I need to mud-wrestle, but I have a feeling it would get messy... One or the other of us would get naked and I don't think you all could handle that. Perhaps the old Saturday Night Showdown would be an appropriate venue for some thong tugging.
8. Who knew women came in different flavors? Okay I did... But really that's cool because you can mix two and come up with a new flavor all together... like they're doing with gum and shit.
9. Men shave their balls now more than ever. I appreciate that... Makes head easier and hummers rock without the extra fluff.
10. Is it freaking cold enough around here? Ummm 20 degrees helps the hard nipples, but after awhile they just stay permanently stiff and then what? I mean Jesus people, they have a mind of their own today... Can you dial a phone with your nipples? Why yes, yes I can dammit... So if you get a call today and nobody's on the other end... It's either lefty or righty...
Just tell them you love them... In fact, lick the receiver...
** oh, and I almost forgot (or was reminded) that I still have yet to explain what a crop-duster is... Alright well a the crop dusting position is a tricky one to visualize through type (and no you perverts, I don't have photos!!)...
K, man on the bottom... woman on top... but you're not sitting on him, you're like... hovering... k, yes dick inside you... barely... just the very tip... So you want to lean back in this position but not rest on him (so no reverse cowgirl, this is completely different)... no pumping... Reach down and stroke his balls a little while you barely move up and down only taking about an inch or two of him (like just over the head-lip)... keep the lean while you work, it's good for the G-spot... (if you have long hair it will tickle his chest and nipples which apparently rocks for some men...
Anyway.. so you're leaning, barely giving the ol' up and down slide... playing with balls... k, take your fingers and wrap them around the base of his dick that is not inside you.. only two fingers...(thumb and pointer), and stroke him WHILE you fuck him, WHILE your hair tickles his nipples... This is a tri-level experience for him and an ab and thigh work out for you...
Crop duster.**
posted by Everything Nice at 7:20 AM
120 Comments:
LMAO... I love those long distance phone calls!
Sorry Tequila Guy, there were busy arguing over who would get to talk first!
Hello, hello, .... there's nobody there!
He he, I sammiched you.
do anti valentines day cards count?!
*gets all excited*
my game has been postponed ... hopefully my game will be resheduled soon.
I agree with the ball shaving but GUYS maintenance PLEASE!
Nothing worse than razor stubble on the balls...damn whisker burns all over.
Buttah - YES!! You get dinner and breakfast... and then sex and cuddles.. and then LUNCH.
I'm spoiling your hotness.
Thom - That sucks, was it a 'rain-out' or an equipment malfunction?
Madame - So funny, why do we always comment on each others at the exact same time!
I know, stubble sucks on the sensitive parts... break out the carmex!!!
Hey -- I know a guy who shaves his balls ... oh wait ... so do you.
I hear ya EN and sucking on a razor stubble covered ball is vaguely reminiscent of licking a cactus.
Though some people might dig sucking on cacti.
Snavvlyn - I don't think I know one man now who DOESN't shave his balls actually.
Madame - LMAO Licking cacti!!! HAWT!! Note the crop duster explanation per your request...
come on emma - you know me, i'd never blame it on the equipment...
and why on God's green earth would a guy shave his doodad's ?
LMAO! Thom I guess you guys like to figure it's aero-dynamic or something... who knows?
Good job Snav, good job!
I have no idea Thom - I've been asking you that very question for about a year now!!
um, er, uh .... what ever do you mean snavylyn? hehehe
Well yeah madame, hence the hovering, barely skimming the wholeness of his dick, and working him over like a joy-stick on an atari game.. yeah...
crop duster!
JESUS CHRIST EN!
I didn't know that had a NAME!!!!
Shit!
Crop duster is better than going to the gym!
Works your abs, gluts and quads.
Umm, K madame.. look above you.
You minx...how'd you get on top?
I am so excited that I've actually done this and WELL I might add!
Hmmm, I'm thinking there might me an entire market for Cardio Sex work outs?
Is there?
Wow I can see it now,
Madame's Bed-robics or Madame's Cardio-Fellatio?
(scratches smooth nuts)
Now THAT'S a health club worth joining!!!
Lacking game?...I don't know who you're hangin out with Red Riding Hood...The wolf keeps tellin' 'ya, but you won't listen...(wink,wink)
Johannes - You're naughty... You need a spanking. I know you got game.. I'm just trying to think of an excuse to get the hell out of this office and come see you... panties and all that.
Snav - Yeah huh... Madame what's the membership fee? You need a licensed teacher for the class?
Thom - keep scratchin' it's a bitch when that hair starts to grow back aint it?
Why Emma, whatever do you mean?
(in his best Doc Holliday voice)
Well I am a fully licesened fitness instructor I will how ever need "demonstrators"
I am taking applications at Madame X files
Thom... you know to tread lightly on the Doc Holiday stuff... My hypocrasy knows no bounds.
Madame - I'm all for that!!! Is there an interview with a hands on demonstration?
"It's true, you are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist."
LIP BITING. Now if you can look all sickly and pale... you'd have it about right Thom.
btw.. My doc holiday would kick your doc holidays ass.
Hands on, legs on, tongues on...
there'd be a lot of skin on skin contact!
WHO HOO! Now that's my kind of job interview...
You'll have to excuse me today though, I'm a little overworked from last nights debauckle...
he he
HOLLA!
Jeezus..........Anyone want to try the Crop Duster with me?
Do you have a dick Kristen?
Jesus nevermind, hold a dildo upright and i'll pretend on ya.
You hot bitch you... kiss me.
Oh, I'm kissing........trust me.
I do have dildo's we can use.
Indeed...We certainly do need to make an appointment so you can come in for a thorough examination....Hope you have a couple of hours...OOO! As a matter of fact you've just given me an idea!...A wonderful (rubbing hands and smirking)...awful...idea!
Nice visual Murphy.......do you have pics?
Getting a picture, thanks Murph
"Why Emma, You're not wearing a bustle. How lewd."
Murph + taint shaving = *shiver*
Kristen, don't let Murphy distract you... really, he's a dick on wheels literally.
I mean, I'm sure he's great in the sack, but.. he opens his mouth and blows it all to shit, I promise ya.
Madame - agreed and wondering if I should even attempt to eat lunch?
Thom - errr. ummm. Mongolian Beef?
Thanks for keeping me in focus....damn, I get distracted so easily.
I'm your huckleberry
Why can't I just have both of you guys? I'll share. I'll dance on tables for both of you.
"Pure as the driven snow, I'm sure"
Murphy, you bitch... I'd take you anytime..
Thom, seriously... bring it... and tea... it's sunny out.
"Say when"
I am going to have to see an actual visual of the helicopter please
Thom - well, noon... noon?
Umm.. shadows dream... that's well.. wow... is cooking oil involved?
Murphy - *throwing down shit* That's it.. we're going rounds. Round one you can have.. round two is where I stick the traffic pylon up your ass and make you scream my name... IM 5'3"!!!!
Kristen, i have one of those... Ill send it.. gimme your email.
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"You know, if I didn't think you were my friend, Emma, I don't think I could bare it."
What, the food? Or being in my mere presence... you know though Thom... we're not having sex at the park...
your car maybe, but not the park.
as long as we have made that purrfectly clear ...
Thom *meow.*
Murphy... that's just flawed and wrong... really.
flawed and wrong.
Now shut up and bend over you sick fuck.
ok, i'll be there ... with mongolian beef and teabags ... er tea
Thanks, I got the visual now.
Jeezus! What is going on here?! So far I have figured this much out:
1. Murph need to get laid NOW
2. Thom gave the boys a haircut
3. Em's tits ARE making calls..Tell lefty I said HI would ya'?
4. Kristen is confused as usual
5. Two people are tryong to set up luch in the midst of this confusion.
AND...6. That thing I have been doing has a NAME? Cooool!
The visual of the crop duster position is interesting. Btw, I shoulda given u a better shoutout. I'd love to have breakfast right about now. hehe
ANd 7: I cannot type for shit today, sorry! LOL
emma - how long do you allow the teabags to steep before you remove them ? (hehehe)
LMAO- Thom said tea bags... *snicker*
Kristen- did it scare you? I know I always get the frightened cold chill thing going on when trying to visualize Murphy doing anything remotely sexual.
Hey everyone!
Anyone want to dust my crop?
I'm not confused.......well maybe but thank God Murphy was there to give me the visual and Em was there to try and keep me from being distracted.
I agree though, Murphy does need to get laid.
hopefully not by kangaroo girl...
Miss Innocent - nice recap! excellent!
Jax - no honey, you get breakfast anyway... because i wanna see your bed.
HOLLA!
Oh you'll be the first to see it!
Thanks, applause is not necessary! And Thom raises an interesting question re: those teabags...How long should I steep them? Hehe
(I have an inquiring mind and plans for tomo night, so info from a wise woman such as you could come in handy!)
i hear that you allow them to 'steep' longer for more flavor ...
LMAO, U have entirely too much free time Thom!
He does, does he not? BEEF!
Jax - wow, Im actually really looking forward to that.
Woooooohoooooo! Emma and I are rolling in the mud! Sorry it took me so long to get here. Did you say that we would have clothes on? Now that's just plain silly! I wouldn't want to mess up my cute little panties and bra!
mmm beef n tea
it's what's for lunch
hmmm, i just noticed that it's noon now ... i better hurry up and get some mongolian beef
I thought you said you weren't easy??? Sounds pretty easy to me.
Ummm.. tequila girl said cute little bra and panties...
I'm out on the rock/paper/scissors deal...
honestly I'm all about the ruffles... TG, are there ruffles?
Thom - I'm fucking hungry here!
Murph - No thanks necessary, I'm all about the getting you laid. I just have to have my percentage.
mmmm - this is good mongolian beef
So Thursday is out for you.......good to know. Anyone available on a Thursday?
FUCK YOU THOM.
I'm available on Thursday...
YEAH, thats right Murphy... you know where your bread is buttered.
hmmm - that was in all caps ... but not in a red font. oh yeah, and she didn't say " Fuck you" twice...
phew!
i can't kiss your ass yet, i'm not done eating the mongolian beef
K, Thom... I'm glad you're picking up on my terms of endearment honey bunny... now KISS MY ASS.
Murphy - is it your finger? tell me it's your finger?
gimme... you silly bald bitch.
Emma - Ruffles? I have some cute boyshorts with ruffles!
Murph... Wanna fuck tomorrow? I have an opening just for you...
Thanx Thom - the mongolian beef was EXCELLENT!! You need to come by more often!
whoa whoa whoa... Murph is getting ENOUGH PLAY in my comments section... don't entice him TG... he'll start drooling.
And unfortunately for all of us he just stated that he does not fuck on Thursdays... but I DO.
Hell yes, HNT tomorrow should have ruffles in honor of me... ME.
Who the hell boycotts a whole freakin' day of sex??
That's insane
Somebody that wears pleated pants apparently.
Wait, why do I get the feeling sullen girl is rubbing that shit in my face?
wow, sullen I'm glad you enjoyed my beef. And thanks for that , uh entree ... now what did you call it ? cumonya sweet breasts ?
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Jesus, I just got goosed...
It felt great mon, jamaica style even.
YOu're hot.. let's fuck.
*dialing*
1. Yes. I'm living proof.
2. I agree, hello, it's called casual for a reason.
3. Wrong, I care, because I have mirrors.
4. Agreed. Living it.
5. Love givers.
6. You make my blood boil and my hair stand on end. See number one above.
7. I would like to second that motion on the mud wrestling.
8. Like a slushy?
9. Don't have the epidemiological studies to back that up, but I'll take your word for it. Glad we could oblige.
10. Hard enough to bite and nibble on?
Waiting on the phone call.
MONGOOSE... peep above you... I'm all about the jumping today.
hi
hi you sexy fucker... what's shakin....
nothin'.
HNT will only involve... I can't tell you... it's a secret! But panties will not be part of the mix.
did you get my call?
OH! well jesus TG... nice way to come between Shane and I...
perfect positioning even...
not.part.of.the.mix. hmmmmmmmmm.
Jesus I have no idea what I'm going to HNT people... I'm flawed.
Shane, help me out here.
Mmmmmmm... it's cozy in here :)
too bad no one brought any more mongolian beef ...
I think TG and I need some alone time...
Thom, Sullen Girl seems to have eaten all my beef...
figures.
a girl ate your beef ... you sound disappointed...
E, when are you gonna put together a comprehensive Sexual Self Help Book for the Modern Committed Slut?
err.. i was fine until I got the impression she didn't want to share... seriously.
I share. i do that. it's all me.
Jesus Helskel, what a great idea! Let's co-author.. I need some bullet points because really I'm all over the place...
hit me, ill fulfill.
hahahah, it's too long past lunch, and too long before the drink hour for me to think straight.
I gotta dumb question for ya though.
Is that avatar an actual picture of you?
we'll just have to train her to share, i guess.
HE HE HEEE. Helskel, if I tell you can we do it for free?
Thom - you're the mack... help me with my blog so I can call you a god and worship you.
There's a cost for Everything,
usually the higher the better.
But yeah, you tell me the truth... and I'll take that as a good faith gesture.
email me. we'll chat... Ill toss ya a bonus... because you're artsy and you like Jack bauer.
copy that, I'll take a bonus
Cause you walk like a woman,
anna talk like a man.
Work those abs ....
I threw you some love yesterday, didn't I? Did you get it?
TG, i swear honey... I got nothin! You sent me love? Where did it go?
Helskel, you know what? I just might have to find another skirt... if I have the time, I'll do the crime...
and you KNOW this MAN.
Cyberspace? K, coming again ...
Okay everybody listen up
*tinking champagne glass with my fingernail*
Tequila Guy sent me an e-card after the fact...
He's a pimp, and you should all take lessons from him because he knows his ladies and how to work em.
and oh, tequila guy.. HELL YES we're sharing.
Yesterday's love line, lmao
TequilaGuy said...
Emma in the middle! If you're a guy, I'm gonna be bi - but only for you, nobody else, nobody!!!
2:25 PM, February 14, 2006
damm dude
i don't think i'm woman enough for that pose. if it's what im imagining anyway.
it does explain your abs though *g*
mine are boring and come from exercise...
Dammit! I actually go to a real life function and I miss the proposition to get laid. Sonofabitch! That's it, I am giving it all up to woo E. Somewhere in my fucked up mind that actually makes sense right now.
lmao Sass honey... you got yours the tride and true way! And well, the pose doesn't work for everybody unfortunately... which is why I was surprised so many people had been there and done that!
Tequila Guy - I DID get that one actually! But you're still a pimp!
Mongoose - woo me baby.. I like the woo. Honestly, hit me with your best shot.
I want to actually skip the wooing and go straight to pulling the hair, lifting the skirt, and pulling the thong to the side...But, if I must...
I always wanted to be a pimp! Or, maybe a gangsta! Is one better than the other?? ... in your eyes
It's "soiree" not "suare'", Em.
That's my externalized vagina talkin'.
Umm.. *perk* Mongoose.. did you really just say that?
Dude, I think I just may need to keep my eye on you.. you're tricky you are...
see, you got me talking like Yoda on that one.
Tequila Guy - Umm, I like the pimps.. the gangsta's wear their pants too low.. seriously guys, don't wear your freakin crotch at your knees... please.
Basically be what you wanna be, I love all men.
Dom, does this mean I get to eat you out?
I got a call this morning on my cell phone at about the worst possible time. So I licked the phone and almost got thrown out of work. Worse yet, it was my Mom on the other end of the phone...eeeewwwwwww
Crop duster. Damn, I can not imagine anyone is that athletic. Wow.
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