Archive Dive

Something weird is a-foot.

Can't explain it. Things around here are straaannnggge.

I'm being rushed to do this post tonight, so I thought it might be good to jump back into the archives for Triple FFF. It's one of the last product reviews I had done around here.

If anybody would like me to start posting product reviews again, please say so and I will be more than happy to comply. Furthermore, if you people want me to post more sexually detailed stuff like I used to, please also tell me. I steered away from that some time ago for fear of some 'sex-blogger' hacker that nailed a lot of good blogs out there, and a lot of good friends.

So, yeah... more product reviews and content like the good ol' days, ya gotta tell me people. Thanks. Oh, and because of the steeping comments section on this original post, I have just re-cut and pasted it for a fresh comments window!

Scumbag, if you scroll to the last review.. an X-Bar is a restraint just like these.

Enjoy all you sexy bitches and Happy FFF!


***(original post date 11/6/05)***

I had three product reviews to do.

I usually enjoy product reviews because it means that I can spend and justify. Sometimes even getting a kick back depending on the product and if the site will advertise it accordingly. Normally if I review, they advertise and the items sales take a climb, I'm guaranteed a cut. Alright, there's the history...

The first two here I promised to you readers, but they will be featured elsewhere as well.
The last product review below will be sent to a different site I write for (and no, I'm not telling which). I could have not included it, but why? Some of you might find it interesting to read about items you would dare not try... Though, knowing what I know about some of my audience perhaps you would!

Since today I'm generally very lazy and don't feel like re-writing or editing these reviews to suit my blog.... I'm gonna give you all three, in a cut and paste sort-of way.

As a side note: I am assuming that you all understand by now that I am an intense kink. Right? Right. And the #3 product review is gonna come wayyyy outta left field for a few of ya. If you're not interested in the hard-core stuff, skip it. Please also know that if you do enjoy the product review posted here let me know either via email or comment and I will post my reviews as I do them. Either specifically for here, or a carbon copy of my reviews for the other websites I write for.

Here goes:

Product #1 - iEgg
manufacturer: DocJohnsons
visit @ docjohnsons.com

The iegg is a refreshing new take-off from the old 'egg-style vibrator' that has been pleasing women for years. Geared mostly towards female satisfactory masturbating urges, the iegg totes that it's uni-sexed and available also to stimulate the prostate and or anal area in men as well due to it's compact vibrator and multi-function modes. Ultimately the iegg proves that old toys can be new again once re-vamped to coincide with recent technology.

First made popular in the 70's, the old egg-style vibrators were just plain frightening. Larger than needed insertion bulbs and clumsy wiring that was typically too short, the remotes toted two speeds; low and high. The egg vibrator soon became obsolete as bullets and vibrators with different buttons, motions, and speeds soon took the stage and became more popular in the orgasm forum for the ladies.

The iegg is not your mothers vibrating egg in any way.

The iegg insertion piece is smaller in circumference; shaped more like an oblong bullet than the oval egg of yesterday. This is an appealing feature to those of us who have smaller vaginas and wish to not feel like we're sticking a weather balloon in a toilet paper tube. The bullet, manufactured of hypoallergenic stainless steel; slides in and out easily without too much effort. Once inside the bullet provides just enough comfort without sacrificing mobility.

Also enhancing the appeal of the iegg is the cord; which attaches the egg to the remote. Unlike the thick corded old-style egg-vibes; this cord is nearly non-existent, strikingly thin and easy to plug and unplug from the unit as the need arises (for cleaning and otherwise). It's 36 inch slack allows the remote to be placed wherever the hell you want it, hence having the ability to stand or lay down and still comfortably operate it as you please. Beautiful.

But let's talk remote, shall we? What separates the iegg from others in its class is the 5 different settings and 10 low to high speeds.
Using MSX technology, this remote boasts power and consistency, as well as prolonged battery life. The iegg remote dons soft rubber buttons, led lights that increase as you increase in speed and or power, and comes in 5 different colors (go figure). The remote is compact, light, and can be tucked easily into your purse or overnight bag. Again, beautiful.

The speed/vibrating settings on the iegg are insane; meaning good of course. Always testing products before review, I sacrificed myself to science in order to tell you about the settings in detail. They are as follows:

Setting #1- Vibrating. Good vibration, stronger of course as you kick it into high. The vibrating action follows along the footsteps of a decent vibrator... Isn't really get-off material until you add fingers, then it's lovely.

Setting #2- Pulsating. Can we talk about this? I mean, how cool is it to have a pulsing something in your pussy... With a speed setting? Hot hot hot. I came during the pulsate action only getting to mid-speed. Well, I still needed some finger manipulation on this one for clitoral stimuli but it was indeed minimal. All in all, if you get bored with the consistent vibrating? Hit the pulsing... ummm yeah.

Setting #3- Surging. I'm not quite sure how to explain the surging setting. It's sorta like a the vibrate and pulsing action wrapped up into one beautiful combo; tap-tap-buzzz, tap-tap-buzz. rhythmic in every way, and when placed just on the g-spot it acts almost teasingly... Taking you just to the big O, and then dropping you like a needy unsatisfied slut. I enjoyed this setting thoroughly because well.. I like to be teased. Orgasm material on this setting, I assure you; but not multiple worthy.

Setting #4- Escalating. Toe curling material galore here. The escalation setting on the iegg is bound to drive you absolutely crazy. How does it work? Well, err. It escalates to a maximum vibrating speed and then slows to a crawl. If you thought setting #3 was a tease, #4 will definitely leave you begging for a constant. No finger manipulation needed for this setting, and you can easily achieve a multiple when placed correctly near the g-spot.

Setting #5- Roller Coaster. Holy Shit. Weak knees, no verbal control, and the ability to turn you to jello in 0-6 seconds, the Roller Coaster setting is just as it sounds; taking you to the highest highs and the lowest lows. It will make you throw your hands up and scream for sure, but without the vomiting. This function does not allow for speed control as well, err... ya just don't have any need for control when using it. For women who have trouble reaching climax or have never experienced a multiple orgasm before, the Roller Coasters for you. It's my favorite I admit since it's increasingly difficult to make me multiple without a partner... With this it's a matter of minutes.

The iegg can be found at a limited handful of stores, but can be ordered online at DocJohnsons.com. It retails for about $49.95 - $69.95, depending on how or where you buy it. As I mentioned earlier, the iegg comes in 5 different colors depending on your style (or the color of your iRabbit). I bought the grape one because I'm a purple kind of gal, but the strawberry looked really inviting too. If you have the pocket change and the intitiative to indulge in a new toy... My money's on the iegg, you won't be dissatisfied!


Product #2 - Pjur lubricant
Manufacturer: Pjur USA
visit @ pjurusa.com

I was apprehensive about purchasing this lubricant as normally when a company boasts their product is the best, chances are it's not... Or at least comparable to about a gazillion other products out there.

The pjur line consists of both silicone and water based lubricants depending on your likeness and need. The product lines are broken down by women's, men's, aqua and basics. I, being a lubricant user, skipped the basics and went straight for the hard stuff; Pjur Power premium.

Pjur lubricant is a non-smelling, non-oily, non-tasting liquid form that boasts a hearty slippery consistency. It does not wipe away easily, and stays where it's supposed to; eliminating the need for anal applicator administration (which can feel a bit uncomfortable).

I found this lubricant to be extremely satisfying for every angle of intercourse; vaginal and anal.
Since it doesn't wash away or become null after an extended period of time, bodily fluids do not hamper the ability to use it, even after one application. Blissful for those of us who despise stopping in the middle of fornication to re-adhere our potions.

I cannot imagine returning to anything other than Pjur for my anal needs. Being that I am a small woman, maneuvering a cock in my ass is less than a turn on when the slippery isn't slippery enough. I know that many of you agree with my opinion that anal penetration should be eased and not forced- this lubricant allows for just that... Ease.

Unlike it's competitors who are mostly water based and/or silicone, this lubricant line never fails and only takes very little to get the party started (so to speak). Shortly stated, if you can't get the job done... pjur will.

The Pjur line can be bought at boutiques and online through pjurusa.com, it retails for roughly $9.95 - $29.95 (usd), depending on size and style you pick. It's worth every penny and I promise that once you buy this stuff, you'll never go back to KY.


Product #3- Spreader Bars
Manufacturer: Kinkinc
**Contact me for purchase

What can I say about spreader bars besides they're fucking great. Nothing more submissive than being strapped and locked to a bar- arms and legs spread. Waiting and ready for the taking.
I especially get-off on restraint fucking myself, as do a lot of you that read this dirty fucking magazine. Slutty bitches.

There are many different kinds of spreader bars; The x-bar and the Hanging Shackle being the most popular for those wishing to be fully dominated.

I own an X-bar, it's the greatest toy I have by far when it comes to restraint. But it's difficult to maneuver, penetration tactics are limited, and ultimately it can be a time consuming bitch to get in and out of. Furthermore I have found that I can only use it on special occasions since it's a nightmare to get out of the closet on a whim. Often I've longed for the locking grip and the cold metal rods to press against my hot skin, but have relented due to noise and time constraint... Until now.

Kinkinc spreader bars are so perfect because they come in different sizes and can be stored easily. More so than not, the bars allow for domination tactics without getting in the way of penetration (which is usually the case with the x-bar or steel restraint cuffs.
Another bonus would be that Kinkinc's spreader bars can be used with a harness, schackle, or swing depending on your mood or method. And since they're not geared specifically for arms or legs they can be used with either or both, and interchanged depending on how wide you want the spread to be.



That being said, I strongly urge the adjustable spreader bar if you're going to invest in steel bar restraint. It takes far less storage room than the original spreaders, and can be easily manipulated as the need dictates (or difference of partner).
It adjusts from a pleasurable 28" to an incredible super-spread of 44", continuously adjustable in 2" increments. It can be broken down to a very compact size and fits nicely into your duffel bag for travel.

Newbies to steel bondage will find spreader bars a treat, since they are less intimidating than that of the hard-core S&M brackets.

Those timid about trying new things will benefit from spreader bars too. Especially if they already reap the benefits of cloth bondage and tying or gag fetishes. If you've been interested in delving down to the darkside of masochistic role playing for a spell, I strongly recommend starting with these neat bars... I dig em.

Spreader bars are not available in most retail adult toy stores. I would direct you to definitely buy these babies online. They retail from about $59.95 - $109.95 (usd) depending on strength and length of bar. Colors available are black and steel (I suggest the black), and do not include the wrist/ankle cuffs. Cuffs are an extra $29.95 (usd) for leather, $15.95(usd) for canvas.

If you're interested in purchasing a set of spreader bars contact me via email and I will point you towards a decent retailer near you. Perhaps even saving you international shipping costs.