Strange Currencies

So. Last night my husband ordered me to bed... Do not pass go... Do not sign on your computer... Nothing. NOTHING.

But I did.

I checked some email and was able to spend a little time catching up with things before he totally rocked my world into 'rest' mode.

So I sit on the edge of the bed.... Tired, sore, achy, miserable, and wondering if I would ever physically be the person I was 3 weeks ago. I felt sad. I felt defeated. I felt hopeless.

Work yesterday was absolutely shitty, my fever had bumped to an amazing 103.1... and my family has taken a turn for the rambunctious since my health-absence and patience was running short with everybody under my roof. STRESS.

Figuring that I couldn't possibly lose anything else in the world, I pulled the last card in the deck. The card I absolutely had never played ever.

I got down on my knees and prayed.

and then, I slept.

I woke up this morning with no fever. No congestion. My eyes were not stuck together but instead... Just fine. I got out of bed without stiffness or pain.... I took my place on the couch and felt energetic and ready for the day.

What a weird sensation. Complete 360.

Makes me think.... wtf?

Really, I have never been a religious person ever. My mother was a devout Episcopalian but my father was atheist. As a child I was never made to go to church, or any other religious venue. In junior high I did attend one of those huge Lutheran 'teen' things, and was told by my friend to give myself to God... But responded with "I can't believe in God because I have never felt him in my life. Furthermore, he simply doesn't listen to me."

"And that is why it's so important for you to give yourself to him." She replied.

To which I said "Right, like I'm going to believe in something that doesn't believe in me.... no way."

That bombed of course.

SO, I ...
in my lengthy early adulthood and even now I battle with believing there is a higher power that controls or persuades the way things are... Yet I still commit to myself that there is no great being of a man that looks down upon us and oversees us as disciples.... Counts our sins and blesses us accordingly.

I believe that if you do not have religion in the first place, there is no way you'll lose it.

I feign that every religion has a true piece to it, and have studied a couple of different ones time and again... But still, was not a normal practitioner of faith.

I was never baptised, never read the bible, never sat with a priest unless I was being given my final blessing... and those I slept through.

....

After last night and the change this morning I still claim that I could never convert to a religion and be a regular on Sunday mornings....

But, I am jarred over pondering who exactly it was that heard my plea last night.... And I just want to say thanks.
....

Today ...
Today will be a good day. My mother is taking me to get my hair and nails done, I'm going to do some maintenance on the ol' body and shave accordingly.... I will do some shopping and play a little with my children. I will be ready to be 'normal' again.

And uh, Tequila Girl, you better be ready for that Saturday Night Rumble tonight.... Because I can smell the Chocolate Pudding setting up as I sit here.

Fuckall, that's A LOT of chocolate pudding!!!