Stop with the Madness!!

I was hell bent on a pathway to self-distruction. Check it.
(i sooooo know there's typo's in this.. but i could give a rats ass... im tired)

My husbands been sick with a cold. That means no contact.
We don't hug, kiss, or otherwise paw each other... I sleep on the couch. Yep. Far removed from him as much as possible. Why? Because I can't afford to get sick with anything right now... a simple cold could take me out for at least a week.

Anyway, that's the premise for this story... let's move on.

Yesterday I made a kinda psuedo-dare with psyche (after a discussion about masturbation with a friend) that I could go 24 hours without touching myself. Yep, true dat. So yesterday, after my morning sebatical I thought "sure yeah, I could totally do that..."

Thinking I totally could.

Now, for those of you that know a little about me, you know I'm a nympho.
Not nympho like, I'm a woman and I like to fuck... no.

Nympho like hormonally dependant on orgasm. A real hyper sexual being. Cha.

Some of you even remember that ONE post I did where I cataloged my times and technique for a day. So you understand that, yep, I'm unbearably dependant on climax.

So like an appetite needs to be sated with food, I am dependant on doing myself if the fuckin' wind blows the right way up my skirt.... or I'm provoked.

Let's get on with the story though, shall we?

I was good all yesterday afternoon and into the evening. Last night I took my sleeping pill to ensure I wouldn't
A. Have to cum before bed
-or-
B. Wake up in the middle of the night and NEED to cum like the normal regimine.

This morning though when i woke up, I admit I was feeling a little needy.
Shower time was tough, drive to work was a little rough 'cause I was tense. Sat down at the good ol' desk at work and remembered that.....


today. is. H.N.T...... fuck. Of all the days I quit
masturbating

So I muddled and lugged myself through the skin and happiness of Half-Nekkid people and I got worse throughout the day. Yeah, THANKS FUCKERS for posting HOT HOT pictures today...
JESUS. I was a mess. Sheer nasty poor hell bent mess.
By 9-fucking-thirty AM no less.

So all morning I struggled. I fought. I contemplated. But NO God damnit I had a goal!!! A challenge to myself that I could do it!!!

No Emma No don't spend too long in the bathroom, do what ya gotta and go... GO I SAY!!!

To which my inner devil's advocate would tell me "you know, if you did just accidentally swipe your finger across the top of your labia on accident... it wouldn't really be cheating, would it?"

*blank stare* *twitch*

I heard her, but I didn't listen. Because I'm a strong-willed bitch like that.

But
By lunch I heard that devils advocate again... and this time the bitch was loud and clear!
So I gave a little gentle touch to remind my poor pissed-off pussy that I still loved her, she punkd me by making me really really really LIKE IT.

I stopped abruptly, washed my hands, grit my teeth and went back to work.
Progressively I got worse and worse and worse as the clock ticked away-- Until just the mere sight or thought of anything remotely sexual fucked up my mind.
Couldn't concentrate on shit.
Couldn't reason.
Wow... was just bad.

And you know, I didn't feel any anger or aggression... but lots of tension and urgency. Lot's and LOTS. That was the most interesting part.... I still loved people because well, I sooo wanted to fuck them, but.... I really really wanted.to.fuck.them.

"Hello grocery stocker boy, jesus what a great ass... Are you legal?"
.
"My god I never knew something like that lived one street down."
.
"I could SO collate with you tonight, how late you workin?"
.

Depressing. At 6 when I walked in my door the house was quiet. Dead quiet.
No kids. No husband. No dog.
*cricket*

Understand people I was needy... Plus I started seeing weird shit.. And I think on the drive home it dawned on me that for me to deny my body of something normal to it was redicilous entirely. Isn't it the same as starving yourself?

So coming home to an empty house, is this a sign from the universe? My nipples sure thought so once the bra came off...

SO It was on!!! The mad rush to 'get off' before anybody graced the house with their presence! I grab my toys, strip completely, sprawl on the bed and do my thing like a champ....

I took my time, savoring every second and every thought and picture that filled my poor weary, perverse head. I had not a care in the fucking world people, not a care... except for the breeze blowing in from the window and the sun beating down on my quivering body as I was right... on the brink... of orgasm.... and

WHAMMO! The front door opens and it's the hub with both kids. I jump and toss my toys in my bathroom sink, close the door and shove my swollen bits into my yoga pants and a tank top.

FUCK. No orgasm and here I am all slippery and frustrated with no where to go and nothing to do but re-shirt my thought process. I was irking and jerking all over the place to get right.

just. bad.

Dinner was miserable, I was not only withdrawn from orgasm for an extended period of time, but, the one chance I got to 'hit it home' I didn't even score!!!

FUCK.

And there's my 3 year old, moving the straw in and out of his cup lid... the two plastics rubbing together, indicating to my brain that... well, you aren't hungry anymore. You just have to go take it. Knowing the hub was eating dinner happily with the children no less...

I excused myself from the table, gave a hand signal to the husband so no one could see. to alert him as to my 'issue'.. and then I disappeared to the convenient luxury of standing against the wall of my bathroom.

but i did it.
and then i had a beer.

And through all the turmoil and treachery I did to myself by being a shit to my libido throughout the day paid off, because I actually made it through the 24 hour deadline. I did. I lasted 29.

And I swear I came so hard my toes curled. Now, it's 9pm and time for me to make my bed here on the couch. Maybe I'll sneak into the bedroom later and molest my husband. Don't you guys dig it when a lady does that to ya?

And fuck you if you're sick.... needy bastards... just lay there and shut up already. I could give a fuck, breathe through your mouth!