Jumbalaya

Stating the Obvious

For all intents and purposes I just want to put it out there that one go round does not satisfy me. I know it seems almost inconceivable, but really 6 orgasms and one good fucking is usually a warm up. I hope you men understand that... Because damn, apparently some of you think I am sedated after Saturday night! Uhh, listen guys... No. Just no.

So that being said, no more talk about me being mellow. I don't mellow until I walk funny, capiche?

Good, now let's get this shit on!

Alright, I'm seriously contemplating a Cock Appreciation Week.

I think maybe perhaps next week (right before Christmas) would be a good time to appreciate the male apparatus. So women, look forward to that... And men? Well men, let's just say I better have some dick picks in my email inbox. Seriously. Ya don't have to show your face or any other part of your body for chrissakes, just your dick.

And no, I'm not sharing with any body which came from who... But we can make a game out of it if you want! Match the cock to the blogger.
I love that word--- cock. cock cock .

*sigh* I love men.
Don't pussy out either, show us you have balls and just do it!!! LMFAO. Jesus.

I'm all for this, and I know the ladies are too. I mean shit, we're givers!!
Gigi puts it all out there... You've seen a whole lot of Suze. Lillith has been known to give up a nice peek... A lot. Even Buttah gives us cleavage and Sass (wonderful intellectual Canadian that you are) participated in some nice body shots.

But you guys haven't given us shit but backs and fore arms... wtf?!?!?
K, that's not true.. Horsn did some mighty fine shots that got a little close to money. And Big Daddy Dozer always entertains us with his big blue eyes.

That's NOT what we wanna see though... Pull out the gear and grab the fucking camera! We're ready for the show and it's what we want for Christmas.


For inspiration purposes I will put this picture up, tell me if it does anything for you. WAIT! Go grab your camera!

The Most Wonderful Time:
There, now I've gotten that off of my chest, let's talk about my chest shall we?
God damn I hate it.

While the men stay distracted at the picture and photography assignment, I want to rant to you ladies for a minute. about something womanly perplexing.

See, I have issues with my 'cycle.' Sure, every woman does... And my issues aren't as abundant since well, I've had some surgery in that general vicinity which no longer makes me, well. Anyway.

So, even though the physical downward symptom is inept, I still reap the enjoyment of hormones... HOORAY! GIVE IT UP FOR HORMONES LADIES!!! Fuck, I hate em and love em at the same time. I mean to say:

-- They make me feminine sometimes, which helps me to be sub when I need to.

-- They keep me soft and hairless. Gotta love estrogen for that, right?

-- They enable me to have an excuse for being a total bitch for no reason. And really sometimes the excuse doesn't work. Then you actually have to admit you are a bitch... Which, I seem to have done a lot lately for one reason or another.
But I digress...

-- They power propel my excellent sex drive. Nuff said.

Anyway, so during this pseudo cycle I have my breasts expand a full cup size and it's unpredictable when exactly this will happen. So, one minute I'm good.. The next minute my cannons are packed and ready to explode right out the top of my fucking bra. And it HURTS like a son of a bitch!!! Like crying pain even.

Does any body else have this problem but me?

Furthermore I'm blessed with these weird tingles I keep getting. Seriously goose flesh material. I could be just standing there and WHOOPS I'm excited....
Okay then, more than usual for my nympette self. It's scary almost even... Instant nipple hardness, just add hormones. HORMONES HOORAY!

So I ask the good doctor today about my pseudo cycle since its causing me discomfort and he says... "Are you ready for menopause?"

ummm.
menopause? Jesus, I'm thirty-one years old!

Well, apparently they give you this shot monthly which zaps the ovaries ability to work... Thus, disintegrating hormones and thrusting you abruptly into a place you really don't wanna be until you're at least 50.

This apparently is the answer to my pain. Ummm. So, being a needingly well educated woman, you ask the question(s):
What happens to me after that?

"Well, your breasts will shrink, and your vaginal secretions will dry up. You may hit a depression, we would have to counteract that side effect with prescriptions. "

Now granted, I'm mad at my boys today. But I'm not gonna let them shrivel up for christs sake! Fuck losing my vaginal secretions too. I'd rather suffer for a week then never get it wet again.

I vote hysterectomy first. That's my vote.

ANYWAY... After all that noise:

Today my appointment with my Doctor was also to discuss other health blah-blah-blahs.

-Blood pressure? Glad you asked 70/52... I'm still alive as far as I know.

-Kidneys? Yes, I have two of them.. They talk amongst each other every once in awhile and decide they want to play nice. When they're not doing that they stay at an even 35/15.

-Then we got to talk about my weight gain YES I GAINED WEIGHT!!! Think it's sarcasm? Its really not. I'm too thin for my own good and can't seem to metabolize accordingly. Like a hummingbird I am.... Oh well. But I gained nonetheless! *cheers*

It's those god damned Sara Lee Nutty Bars!!!

Can we talk about guys in cords? ... hot... does that do anything for anyone but me?