I can't hide my sexual life

(I fucking love that song... Everclear is the shit)

Okay. So this blog post will be about masturbation. Just a warning for you squeemish people. I was put up to write this post, and I'm a little strange about it because the goal is to be completely honest and non-judgemental about how, where, and when you do it, but also the frequency.

I know that you all know I masturbate... jesus. I mean, how can I not?
(shawn, I trust we can use this post for article incorporation because I'm not writing it twice)

*Sigh*

Today I'm sitting at a table with a good friend when he comments about something I had written the evening before on my blog.
"So, how many times did you get off while writing that story last night?"
"Umm, jesus I lost count. I dunno, honestly... a lot."
"Do you ever actually keep track of how much you masturbate?"

I had to laugh out-loud when he asked me that because honestly I had never heard of anybody trying to schedule and or track their masturbatory habits... "No way! Why would I want to do that? I'd think I'm a perv."

"Do you beat off enough to be considered a perv?"
"Do women really 'beat off'? They more like finger themselves."

He looked at me kinda stern and almost serious like "Are you a perv though Em? I mean, honestly, think about it... I'm not sure you beat off any more than any other person... Think about this and try to keep track of how much you masturbate... then we'll table it."

I'm left to sit and contemplate how much I fuck myself. He gets up and goes to leave but not before I errupted "Wait, what constitutes one full masturbation?"

The lady at the table across the way sneered at me for saying such repugnant things out loud in a public place. Whatever.

"Umm, no because I know you, and you cum multiple times during one session. A session constitutes a beginning, and an end. You actually have to put the vibrator or finger 'down'."

My reproach to him is somewhat stifled and embarrassed. "My masturbation is entirely personal and far to often to catalog for the masses."


Yeah people, I ante'd up...
because I really didn't want to go there about how often I'm touching myself instead of doing other things.
Besides, I have no problem with talking about fucking... but my need for sexual stimulation at all times leaves me in quite a tizzy when there's no warm desirable body next to me.

And that need for gratification happens often throughout the day. 24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days a year... I'm open to myself like 7-11 and it's sad.

He just sneered and left me with hanging... "Then this should be quite the challenge for you then Emma... Because I'm daring you. Keep a journal for one day of when, where, and how you got off. If you add how many times you came I'll consider giving you an editoral piece for the next issue."

He said dare. My eyes saw red. I was compelled to prove something now. "Sounds more like beat off material for you then a theory piece on whether I'm a pervert."

"Yeah, but it's not really for me. It's for the public."

I shake my head a little... "The public cares not about how I beat off."

He sat back down and looked at me with that serious weird look again... "You know what, I often wonder what the hell a nympho does when she's not being satisfied... stimulated... used."

"USED!" I guffaw and think about spit spraying my coke in his face.

"You know what I meant. I mean... It's really a curiousity point for those who have a normal and inconsistant sex drive to feel that desire all the time. We want to know if it's bothersome, mind diffusing, tedious, time consuming.... irritating. Maybe even joyful."

I pondered, he stared... "We want to know if you have it worse off than we do or not."

"So then I should really be journaling any sexual activity or stimulation within 24 hours... not just masturbation."

"Yes, even better... do that."

And then he left, and I sat, and pouted and wondered what the hell I've gotten into posting my orgasms like a diary on public display to be ridiculed or snickered at. Sooooo... I suppose for the next 24 hours, starting right now (7pm), I keep a log of my ups and downs... and all arounds.

*sigh* and I feel weird about it. But it's for the love of those that I suppose are curious about the insides of somebody that needs sex to function like others need water for hydration.

I'm seeing this as one of those challenges us writers face in life to experience and learn things... then write about them for others to learn and experience. I'm chalking this up to reference... and I hope that umm. You will be kind and see this as a window of understanding opened and to please not be brutal.

That said.

Let's get this party started. Should be interesting to see what I cum up with by 7 tomorrow.