Waving a sorrowful good bye in Ot-Six?

As I perused the last couple of days I had missed on your blogs, I find myself knee deep in verbose thoughts you've spewed across your pages about yourselves, your lives, your feelings... And how these apply to not only your life... But your psyche.

I find that similarities exists amongst us all... But more so today. We're all deep thinkers every once and awhile (some more than others), but this seems to ring true more so this last day of 2005.
I was all ajar with thoughts of posting a continuation the to below short story... Instead I will now commence with doing what I should have done a long time ago, when the thought of saying such things first popped into my head.

I thank the ones who inspired me to chuck the lobe of my brain that initiates sexually oriented material for today and just be down to earth for once. Thanks.
I hope that this post serves not to piss anybody off in any way, but to make things a little clearer as far as my motives and agenda.

k. Good... With that said... I bring you my deep thoughts.

In the last 6 or so months I have been blogging I have been called many things; an attention whore, a chicken for my anonymity, a slut, a waste of space... A competitor in relation to the other sites of the same genre. I have even gotten some bad reviews, or no reviews at all when implied that they were doing one.

When I was writing in other formats, I never received this kind of feedback.

As a side note: I have also gotten good feedback, happy readers, reviews that meant a lot to me and were a perspective on a way of looking into my blog that I never expected.

pros. cons. pros. cons.

I became a little skewed perhaps in the drama of bloggerdom:

For a short time I did find myself wondering how I could increase traffic, please my readers, try and be fair but still be a top blogger. I remember being a little disappointed at my site hits and thinking that perhaps I should delete this space I call my closet. I also recall being a bit pissy that I had no comments at one time or another, or at least no comments from who I would expect to comment... Yes, surprising I know.

But here is where the plot turns and the cocoon morphs into the butterfly people, so listen close.

So what?
My original intent was to write for my readers. The ones who never commented before anyway... The silent back row people that requested kindly that I find a new forum to share my stories, knowledge and experience. I did this for them.

This is not a popularity contest, it's a forum in which to expel thoughts and ideas- to share that vital piece of oneself... Whether it's tailored to a specific audience or not. And I realize that instead of doing this page for the reasons above, I did it for other reasons instead. So as that jealousy twinge of "how in the world can I make this better to get more feedback", I lost a part of myself and I hated that. I'm doing this...

Not to make friends.
Not to spark with anybody in particular.
Not to hope that your comments come streaming in like wildfire once I hit publish.
Not to wish my site counter would hit 1000 just once.
Not to be the best.

But some of these things, if not all... Happened anyway. Beyond my control completely. And yet as I contemplate closing the door on this forum to pursue bigger and better things with my time...

I find I can't.
The delete option doesn't work for me... I've committed myself to those that were able to reach out and ask to follow me here. And though sometimes the politics of keeping this blog make me hesistate, I remember the ones that don't speak out... Don't IM me.... Don't comment. But enjoy.

I also do it for the friends I've made here, the commenters.. The bloggers that stumbled across my page here and said "Wow, I really dig this..." Apparently I have a mind for communicating some things and a lot of you have picked up on the fact that I am not a slut, a ditz, or a waste of type. Thanks for seeing that I am more than a journal entry.

If I did away with this blog today, the only enjoyment left for those who 'need' the Bubblegum fix would be in a bi-quarterly print format, or a couple of websites in which you would have to pay subscription fees.

Good for me, yes. Because I get a cut (sorta) of the profits you reap.
Good for you? No. Because nobody should have to pay for advice, review, erotica, or fun. In a free society we thrive on those things that do not cost us too much time or money... And I truly believe in that.

I guess where I'm going with this is simple.
I lay waste to the thoughts that I should break 1000 hits daily, or that I am not achieving in the blogger popularity contest in which many of us strive for.

--I write for me, for you, and for your neighbor who loves to be fucked with a strap on. I write for your enjoyment solely.. And not mine.
--I choose to be anonymous still because I have a family in which to protect and a mirrored reflection of the real me that I front everyday. I wouldn't be me without the eclipse, and I choose not to hamper the 50/50 split.

I am only ever the mother of two and the good wife.
I am only ever the starved nymphomaniac getting back in touch with the perverted little girl I was so many moons ago.
I am only ever the bi-sexual deity that reaps reward from those who touch me and say "Thanks Emma for helping me to be comfortable with my own closeted sexuality. I can't tell you how nice it feels to relate to your point of view without feeling trashy."

Will I keep this blog in 06? Yes, I will. But things will be a'changing here at Bubblegum I'm afraid. For the better or worse remains to be seen, in fact a lot of you wont be able to tell a difference and that is good as well.

I hope that in retrospect of reading this post, the point comes across that I appreciate every single one of you that read me. I also hope that you've gathered that I am pretty much visiting your sites everyday (or every other), not necessarily commenting but keeping in touch with you and who you are.

I also hope that you read into the fact that perhaps this evolvement will be a good one and that If my entries become few and far between it is not out of abandon, but out of pursuit of life...

I have a handful of people that inspire me, that set my heart ablaze and keep me semi-stable in this world... Mostly, I want them to know that even though we're distanced, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you (umm dirty or not).

Tonight, as that extra one second passes and we welcome in ot-six.. I want you to share that New Years kiss with somebody special... And then kiss them again.

For Emma.

Happy New Year to everyone, I wish you the best in 2006.

And Then it Was

You remember me, don't you?

I was the girl sitting at the bar aching over her Guinness Stout.

Yeah, yeah yeah... You do remember me don't you?
Auburn hair, baby doll t-shirt, hip-hugger jeans... That's right- the one that intrigued you enough to sit next to her.

I can tell by the sparkle in your eye and the excited fumbling of your car keys that you can recall that night. Don't deny it either... It was unforgettable.

Alright, you're not talking... Let me refresh your memory a bit.

It was a holiday, the bar was packed that night with jovial men and women filled with the spirit of celebration. I was only there to take in some new scenery; away from the bustle of the neon metropolis. A small bar where I could blend in.

Guess that plan didn't phase out the way I wanted it to; because you spotted me through the crowd and recognized me right away. I had no idea you'd seen me since my back was turned, in fact the whole element of you sneaking up behind me and leaning in to speak at me without attack or expectance was in itself - admirable.

Do you remember the first thing you said to me? I do.

"Stalker."

and my reply as I startled a bit?

"Um Holy shit, I was not stalking you... thought this was the last place you'd be."

My unintentional response was to smile, and though quite obvious I was trying to keep my cool... I had actually felt pretty impressed I contained my excitement as much as I did. Yeah, I did smile a little I suppose. I remember how you laughed at my complacent giddiness as you leaned against the bar.

"bullshit..." Looking not-so-convinced at my response, you set your glass down and took the stool to my right. "So what the fuck? How'r you doing?"

As my head lifts from my hardened downward stare at my quickly emptying beer glass, my eyes raise to meet yours... Still trying to work my most contained expression I quipped. "I'm good, I'm good. Just drinking my guinness here and trying to look hot, what'dya think?"

"Funny, I'm drinking a guinness too... Good choice."

"I notice you didn't say anything about me looking hot." That shit eating grin of mine accidentally graced my face without intention. I was proud of that sentence, I had to remind you of who you were dealing with.

"Oh christ." You eye brows raised and you snickered at me "poor you... poor, poor you."

"Right."

See, and at this point we were both up to the challenge. Though time necessitated the conversation would only get better; I believe you caught the same vibe I did. Sure, we didn't mean to bump into each other at precisely that moment, no. But we did intend on meeting... so this might be a fruitful evening after all?

Every time I threw up a verbal ante, you'd match it. That laugh and look of comedy as you hoisted your eyebrows in sarcastic amazement every now and again. And in between those times, a soft smile would beget your face. That smile became your monarch saving grace for the rest of the evening.

"So are we drinking with the guys tonight or are you alone." I crane around the bar to check out the other groups loudly clammoring and raising their glasses to each other.
"With the guys, over there. Saw you, thought I'd let you stalk me."

"Yeah, let's talk about your fascination with me stalking you." Taking another slug of my beer, I turn to face you.... Finally.
And I'm not disappointed at the way you stare back.

"Nooo, let's talk you wearing no bra with that shirt." Your smile permeates, your glare travels south towards my hardened nipples. "And then let's talk about why your nipples are hard."

"It's cold in here."
"It's not.. There's about a hundred people packed into this joint, it's not cold."

My lips pursed a bit, but you laughed at my frustration and then proceeded to finish up the last remnants of stout in your glass.

"Alright, my nipples are hard because of you."

"No doubt." You ordered another glass.

I recall that was the glass that did you in, pushed you over the edge; safely secured your gentile fall into blazing intoxication. You even admitted it would be the one.... Before you''d even received it:

"Remind me not to have another after this, because I'll be drunk enough." It was cute, you were already slurring.

But I didn't stop you, and I don't regret that. "You drunk already?"

"Might be..." (this is where you had me) "but I'm sober enough to see four hard nipples instead of six."

I smiled.
You laughed.
There was a strange awkward silent moment there.

"Nice shirt by the way."
Thank god you broke the silence because I wasn't about to.

I was too busy feeling all warm and enticed by your charm, perhaps even a bit turned on about it. Experiencing rigid tingles sparking through my flesh, the hot blush of my cheeks, the churning dampness between my legs only beginning. "Thanks, I like it."

"You get free drinks with that?"

So after a while (and a couple more beers) the conversation faltered, and one way or another the subject kept going back to my shirt. I know you remember that fucking shirt because you gawked at it long enough that I'm sure the silkscreen pattern burned a visual scar into your brain. Poor brain.

"Alright, leave it alone already... It's just a shirt." I was feeling rather intoxicated myself at that point... Mostly at your endearing conversation and witty drunkenness, but still... The alcohol helped to soften the atmosphere but also hampered my intentions to stifle my attraction to you. That might have also been a problem, I didn't play hard to get at all really.

"Right, it's a shirt. But I can't have an intellectual conversation with your tits."

"Yes you can, just address them as sir and sir."

"So they're men then, your tits."

"Might as well be, they're high maintenance enough."

"Fucker we need to leave, help me out of this bar."

"Don't get up, we'll just sit here where it's safe." I flash a look of innocence "Besides, I'm a good girl... If I help you to your room you'll find a way to keep me there. I don't do that on first dates."

You were so keen on deflecting my bullshit that night, more so than a lot of men who have stumbled on my 'bar-set'. With a scratching of the chin and a smirk that would melt the panties right to my ass, you conned me...
"Seriously, lemme say good-bye to my buddies and you'll help me to my room. I need to go back, if I stay I'll drink more with them."

Your eyes looked sincere and needy... "Please help me back, I wanna lean on you... Soft and all.... Besides..." You fell trying to get around your stool, catching yourself on my shoulder and resulting in the first touch exchanged... The first of many.
"...I'll look better leaning up against you on the way back."

and then the monarch saving grace, once again.... how could I say no?

A pause before continuance -HHNT-

**A Happy End to a Means**

The natives are getting restless is seems to have something other than dick on my blog page.

Sure, sure it was not work or guy friendly I agree... But the gals loved it.
I was due to finish CAW today, with a big finale' as promised. And I did... here.
Like I'd ever let you ladies down :) never.

It's actually a great piece about myths and fact, so if you want to check it out for it's content... I swear it's worth it :) I just figured you'd rather be looking at this post, then that post... But choose your poison because they're both worth while.
Leave any an all comments here if you like, or there. Most likely this post will be the one I'll be checking...

**Oh jeez, please don't ask me about this**

Everyone is all a-bustle in regards to their New Years Resolutions and what they are for 2006.
Resolutions suck ass. They never work...
Just set goals for yourself for chrissakes people, why call them resolutions and give yourself unnecessary pressure by setting a date only to set yourself up for failure because you weren't ready?

Yes, I'm a cup is half empty person... how'd you guess?


**The year ahead holds many great things in store for me**

-- It's a new year of life experiences. One of them being VEGAS in January... With my off-hours girlfriend. Sure I've been to Vegas, so that's not new... but I've never been there with her. *snicker* there will be havoc wreaking.

-- It's a year of being a mother to my little macho-mini-egos, and securing them nicely to their boyish facades in hope that some day, some woman will appreciate my efforts.

-- It's a year of being a sexual love goddess to my partner and worthy competitor, whoever that may be (just kidding kinda... In a weird sort of way)!

-- It's a new year of writing... Which means deadlines, topic brainstorms, and projects that fell under budget until the new year. I will be doing some deep thinking until New Years Eve when that ball drops to have a plan formulated as far as my "Two Thousand Sex" erotica portfolio... But I still lay concerns for any article information until it's given. *sigh*

um, that last part bored you... It's okay. I hate logistics, spontaneity works best for me. And yes, I meant a 2006 pun on that last comment, not that I need to write 2000 sex stories... That would make me a hermit for sure.

-- And then there's the job that drives me to learn, grow, and enhance my professional skills. I'm gonna kick ass at that too.

-- Finally I think my health may need to be attended to more so than not. Perhaps I should think about taking it easy on myself this year and being more laid back. Hmmm.... Perhaps NOT.

One thing that shall remain consistent however, will be my HNT. So here, Happy HNT Everybody and Happy New Year to ya!

If you want to learn more about HNT, click on the rolling box and talk to my big sweet HNT daddy, Osbasso!

I'm a 6 1/2 but I wear a size 7 comfortably

Now where were we before the blast of Holiday sentimental?
Oh yea, the almighty C.A.W of course! Let's get back to that then shall we?

k. Let's take a moment to discuss a very important and sometimes (to men) questionable issue; size.
You wouldn't believe how much feedback I've gotten in relation to size(s)- comments, concerns, and questions from readers and others... most being the dreaded "does size matter to you?"

I always say "no", because it doesn't. Of course 50/50 odds say that you'll believe me and other women when we say that.

Perhaps this post will help the odds in favor of the 'believable', and when you ask or assume that size matters to us... you'll stifle your miserable self-confidence issue quickly. We just wanna fuck you anyway, what's the big deal? Trust me, we can make it work for us...

so, back to the issue in hand, or at hand... or well whatever.

I don't claim to be a doctor or an expert on sexual organs of course. What I do claim to be is experienced and knowledged about the male appendage and it's functions. Let's define experienced for a moment though... because a lot of you just hesitated.
I'm not easy and never have been- my experience is derived from the variety of partners I've had... not the quantity. I can count my partners on my hands... nuff said.

I can't explain why I became so fascinated with the penis, but I did.
I bought books, watched references and documentaries, read up on why it works and how... what makes it respond and how to get the most out of it.
Strange that.
In my studies I also learned a lot about size and how it relates to women partners (clinically speaking); in doing such I learned a lesson in vaginas as well. I recommend studying up on such things if you want to fully enjoy your love making sessions, you learn a lot about mechanics; which can ultimately aid in ways you couldn't imagine. Anyway.... size.

Thick, thin, long, short, large head with defined ridges, or small narrow head with an immense curvature of the shaft. There's all different makes and models of peni (peen.eye), plural for penis. tee hee.
And no matter the form they can be comfortably fitted into an orifice of choice...

Vagina's are interesting creatures in such that they are 'potential space'... meaning not an orifice or a cavity, but an available occupancy if needed. The walls of a vagina are normally closed (touching) and do not seperate unless something is put between them. For this reason, there is no truth to the pencil dicked man who can only get his girl off by hitting the right or the left side. And no, contrary to popular belief vaginal muscles do not loosen, they only relax for a short time.

Thickness however is a different story all together. Any body that has had (or witnessed) a child birth knows that a vagina can stretch to amazing proportions before any damage occurs. I told both of my husbands not to look when I was delivering... sure sure it's a beautiful thing to see your child born, but in all reality it's the scariest most intimidating thing a man can witness. And soon that pussy just doesn't look the same as it did. Yes, even shaved.

Us ladies can accomodate a girthy penis for this reason, but there are rules to our comfort... there is such a thing as too thick. At least I've heard as much. The answer to getting around this ladies is to relax yourself and get really overly excited. Perhaps even having your partner make you cum before penetration, enabling you to become a bit slicker and more accomodating.

Ummmm right, moving on. I keep getting distracted!


Short penises. What the hell is that anyway?
I've only ever met one shorty and that was decent even.
The same rules as the above thin penis applies, the vagina will welcome you to the fold (PUN) since you're dictating (almost pun) the space and it's usage. A plus to the short dicked men though, and one that not many average to bigger more robust men can do; hit the G-spot perfectly. That's right, you heard me... here's why:

The G-spot is located in the upper vaginal wall toward the belly (about two or three inches in). IF you're a shorter man, you should be able to connect with that fucker quite nicely without passing it by. And as an end to the shorter piece *snicker* I must also add that a womans highly sensitive sexual receptors are located in and around the outer third of her genetalia.

You can take that to the bank shorty men... though I must say in all these pictures sent to me I have yet to see one that qualifies for the short list. That's honesty right there... if you're a shorty send one in so we can see a G-spot scout... ummm. lol.

distracted again. sorry. It was the G-spot scout thing. Imagining a boy scout earning his G-spot patch and asking mom if she'll sew it on his uniform in time for the ceremony tomorrow. It would be pink... the patch..

So what's left? The big peni? Right.
Do all the ladies know their size? Sure you do, it's kinda like a shoe fitting... I wear a 6 1/2, but can do 7 comfortably. That's my size :)

I know this because any more than that and there's a potential for 'bottom-out'. yikes!
Bottoming out is any time the penis jams itself into the cervix, creating a pain in the abdomen (and sometimes a feeling of squeezing on the penis head for men). This can also happen from behind (positional doggy-style type) by hitting the back of the pubic bone from inside.

Any woman could tell you that this hurts like a bitch, especially after. We usually will take the pain because... we're slutty bitches for you and you seem to like it so what the fuck? But, the cramps that follow are never nice.

So, big dicked mother fuckers here's what I gotta say... moderate. Find a position that's comfortable. If you're gonna pound that shit or hit it hard please note where your dick stops in relation to how deep it's going. And then try to not push it in any further unless you choose to make your partner bitchy... and your woman too.

Now you may have a big dick... and your wife/gf/whoever can accomodate all of you. Well shit I'd love to shake her hand, but we're all built differently... and honestly there's no way your pelvis and mine are gonna meet if you're over 7.5, that's a fact.

So in that relation I guess size does matter a bit... because the larger men can potentially get shafted on penetration; and oral if your woman is tight lipped with a sensitive gag-reflex. But nonetheless if you're a large man, we'll take ya... happily.
Just don't break me in half, k? *batting eyelashes*

alrighty then.
So, ask me again if size matters... or don't. But believe me when I say it doesn't and we'll just leave it at that. Any ladies that agree, disagree, or just wanna say hey! speak up on it, more than happy to hear some feedback :)

....until tomorrow and our exciting conclusion... ciao...

What the hell was that?

as a disclaimer to this post Im will say that I am extremely intoxicated. extremely.
I will not be held liable for any typo's or mis-spellings as I really don't give a fuck enough to run the spell check. K, that said...

What a great Christmas.

No really. Swell.

That's blatant sarcasm folks in case it didn't come across in type.

Now don't get me wrong, there were things about the last couple of days that I enjoyed extremely, such as:

1. Watching the joy on my childrens faces (always a plus)

2. Listening to my mother-in-law tell me about all the dorky things my husband did as a child.

3. Explosive ham-like personality traits from my youngest (prompting mother-in-law to tell such stories about hub).

4. Hugging martini mini... and watching him freeze his ass off (i heart ya!). I want your hat by the way... I'm expecting one for my birthday.

5. Playing Santa. Love playing Santa on Christmas Eve... awesome wonderful moment. Can't describe it.

6. Spending time with my family.

7. The Southpark Marathon on Comedy Central and a good stiff drink or five after putting the kids to bed. Mr. Hanky, we love you.
And that whole bit about jesus dying in Iraq to save Santa just about made me piss my pants.

8. Getting that text message from you. And you know who you are, thanks sweets:)

.........

But, BUTT there were some things that tore me into the holiday dark meat on occassion, such as:

1. My youngest sneaking into our room to see his santa presents. Little fucker... he's sneaky as hell people I tell ya. With the charm and motivation in that one, I do believe we'll have a gigilo-con-artist on our hands in about 20 years. No doubt.

So, the rest of Christmas Eve afternoon all we heard is "I want Elmo, I want Elmo..."
Needless to say, we gave him the Elmo and then it was off to the frenzied stores to find a new Santa Gift. Which wasn't so bad for my husband after hearing "Elmo's got a boo-boo on his foot" Fifty-something fucking times.

**** Which sounds remarkably close to him actually saying "Elmo's got a pimple on his butt"... That's how I kept sane during the other fifty-something times I heard it while my husband was gone. Elmo.. sheesh you drive me to drink.

The plus to that is: The new gift was wayy cooler!

It is the Superman Electronic cape which you slip over your shoulders and when you "fly" or throw a punch/kick... the cape makes noise. Really, it was good for more than one laugh... and the little guy really liked it to boot. Good job there Santa :)


2. Bummer. I tried everything to see my eldest on his birthday on Friday, but was never able to connect with him (even though he was only 30 miles away). Depressing for me as a mother to not see her baby turn the big 1-1 on his birthday. I think I cried.

3. My family is dysfunctional just like any other family... but in very strange ways. That would be a whole nother post. seriously. I won't bore you with my family qwerks. yet.

4. Children on sugar highs, laden with carmalized faces of goo... running 150 mph down the hallway just to bust somebody in the nuts on a moments notice. Nothing like being busy in the kitchen and hearing "IEEYYYY... no no, I'm okay... I think he just grazed them, but still..."

5. Zip ties. which goes like this (RANT ALERT):
I understand that the toymakers want to keep the products in the boxes...and I appreciate that because the less stolen, the less prices are. But really, how many twist ties does it take to secure a piece of toy train to a cardboard box.

The answer to that would be anywhere from 5 - 8 depending on the size of the toy train. Among the gifts that the boys recieved, most (of course) were adhered so strongly to the packaging I dreaded the opening of them. Not unwrapping mind you, opening.

Oh, and keep in mind that when you have a 3 year old that really really really wants to play with his Toby the Totbot right now, there is some pursuading that has to be done.
"Okay honey, just a moment while Mommy gets him out..."
5 minutes later
"Almost done "Sweetie...almost done...please don't pull on him yet, I am almost done, be patient and wait please."
So he waits patiently, and though I tell him he's a good boy for waiting, the minute I pull the trapped toy out of its packaging he's on to something else and has long forgot the need to play with it.

It's almost like an episode of Survivor if you will...I can hear Jeff Probst now:
"The challenge today is a difficult one, it will test your coordination skills and patience.

First you must wade through the piles of styrofoam without stepping on the hidden Hotwheels Cars to get to the excited toddler holding the toy box.

Then you must attempt to open the box without scissors...if you must use the scissors then you have to dig through the piles of crap on the bookshelves and desk to find them (cutting your finger when finding them of course).

Once found and while bleeding, you must take the toy out of the box, release it from its zip tie and tape prison in less than 15 seconds in order to keep the toddler climbing on you happy.

Once your gift is released and you have given it to the toddler, you must wait and see if in fact the toddler will or will not play with the toy. If you have taken too long, the toddler will find another one unopened and you will have to start all over again. Everybody got it?"

Can't you see it? Imagine...

6. Cooking for nine people comfortably, while knowing your mom is rushed to get Great-Grandma home at a decent time.... meanwhile Great-Grandma is hammering the glass of straight Rum she requested and hamming it up with the in-laws.

Ultimately this point is self explanatory.

7. It was my first Christmas without my Grandfather. It was tough not seeing him this morning in all his parkinsons delirium. I miss you Grandpa.... I found your hat.
..................

Besides all the ups and downs of jingle jive foder, I did have a moment to enjoy gift receiving as well as giving. I noticed a lot of you posted about what you'd received... I'll do the same if ya want :)


--There were a lot of pink boxes under the tree this year for me. Satin pajamas, velour VS pants (my favorite), husband picked out some nice hipsters for me (good job honey)... all in all these gifts will be most used, as I thrive in Victoria Secrets shit.
Sorry gigi, I just... i just do.

Luckily for me as well I have a nice LARGE gift certificate... so it's gonna be fun seeing what kind of damage I can do with $250 at VS. Anyway.

-- Some of my all-time favorite you-can-only-get-them-here creamy yummy chocolates.

-- Jewelry, lots of jewelry. Which is never a BAD thing, right? In an attempt to re-fill my empty jewelry box from our break-in around October... I got some beautiful Emerald earrings.Onyx studs and necklace as well as some gold chains.

But the show stopper was this beautiful Silver Blue Topaz and Lemon Quartz necklace (my all time favorite) as shown here.
Not only is in indicative of my overall style, it's the most beautiful necklace I own now. So there.


-- My kick ass fucking awesome Sunday morning easy breakfast for three hungry men toaster. This toaster is gonna perform better for us on the weekends than the Seahawks.
I fell in love all over again when I got this thing.
Bow down breakfast jack bitches... momma's cooking some sammiches!


As an end note, I did not clean my house after everybody left this afternoon.

Sure, we picked up the paper, zip ties, and crap that needed tossing. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna do shit after cooking a big ass Christmas Dinner after chasing glucose enhanced mighty munchkin and his side kick 'dog' all day. Furthermore, I kinda like the destruction tonka/hot wheel zone in my living room. Until I step on a piece... and then it fucks me up.

I now return to my previously scheduled program of drinking oreo's*** and trying to decide whether Blade trinity should be for my viewing enjoyment tonight.

Perhaps no. Perhaps porn. Yes. porn is good... we'll do porn.
MERRY POST CHRISTMAS TO YA!

** An Oreo (in case any one was wondering) is as follows:
One shot Baileys
One shot coconut rum (recommend Malbu)
two cocoa packets

Combine alcohol and cocoa in mug, add hot water... stir loosely leaving a bit of dry cocoa at the top (to give it crunch). MMMMMMMM. Yummy.

So this is Christmas

k. Listen.

Before the ladies get all in a rage, I want to clearly state that CAW will be continued on Tuesday of next week. Don't throw tomatoes at me here... I' m just saying that I'm gonna need two more days of CAW and I frankly don't have two days to play with being that it's Christmas.

Besides, this gives the men that thought they missed the deadline until 4pm on Monday the 26th to pull it out and capture it.... This means more for us to appreciate ladies.
Work the patience, work it hard.
Jesus, if you need a quick link to the last two because you can't stand the strain click here, and here.

I must admit that I didn't think this would go as well as planned... I have never been so proud of my male readers!!! And wouldn't you agree that we women have been quite courteous about the rules? :)

Here ladies, look at this while I talk to the guys. Thanks!
are you looking? Good good.

Now guys, do I have your full attention? k.

Sometimes we listen.
But only to other women obviously, so if you have something important to say to a woman (or your woman) tell another woman and have her tell her. Oh, and when you mention it to that other woman make sure you say "don't say anything but..."

Anyway, back to the point about appreciating cock... I see that Shay does a cockblogging day, is that better than a full on pictorial for a whole week?

I'm wide open for suggestions. But I'm still tighter than a century safe... so don't get cocky.

And now for something completely different:

The Holidays.

I'm writing this bit for my good friend Sass, in the hopes that she may feel some holiday jazz. And perhaps this will infect the rest of you with the Christmas spirit as well.

As adults we hamper and hinder the Christmas spirit sometimes. Not intentionally, but responsibilities dictate we must abhor our giddiness in compromise of balancing our checkbooks or buying gifts for co-workers we can't stand.

It's difficult to get in touch with the child of the spirit sometimes I know.

Since my responsible adulthood happened Christmas has been a chore instead of a time for joy. But the carols sing so fondly of happiness and comfort. Why can't I feel that way too?
I feel no comfort in staying up til 2am to put presents from Santa under the tree, only to wake at 3:30 to a bounding child wanting to see if 'Santa had come yet'? I feel no comfort in spending $200 on something completely unnecessary but wanted and earned. I feel no comfort in being told I have to get something done instead of wanting to do it.

So I have located a conundrum that a lot of us feel right now. For some pressure, for others detachment or loneliness... This year has been one that not many are smiling and excited for the holiday. I have noticed this everywhere... It's as if time is going too fast for us now. And dammit it seems to have happened just about the time they put Gdub in office. Coincidence? I think not.

I have children that get more amped everyday because they awaken and know that it's two more days until Christmas. Their excitement is contagious... I find that normally my Christmas joy starts Christmas morning while the boys are wide eyed at their gifts. Then it ends as soon as those god damned zip ties on the fucking toys starts! Holy shit I've NEVER seen so many twist ties and zip ties holding in one little Tonka truck.

Today while driving home, Auld Lang Syne played on the radio. I got a rush of emotion I hadn't felt in quite a while. And no I wasn't PMSing... But I did think of every single person in my life and the parts and pieces they play. Every single one of you (comments no comments), cross over readers, and others that evolve in my close circle make me everything I am.

That goes for you too Zanie, C and J - you groan ass bitches.
and you Martini Mini - my webdaddy
and you Robin - and your kick ass smile

My attitude changed from there on out, my holidays are made and my attitude about it has been stimulated. I thank each and every one of you for the light and inspiration you've provoked in me...

If you haven't had the chance yet this year... Listen to Auld Lang Syne... You may do a flip-flop too... And if so hug something, it makes you feel better about the weeping.

k. nuff of that.

I will not be posting anything new until after Christmas. But I will be checking for comments and hopefully commenting as well... I hope that all of you have the happiest holiday ever~

Maybe Christmas night might be good for a drunken IM? I'm thinking that way we can discuss what we got for Christmas... Those of us with children should be slamming drinks round early evening... Those single will most likely already be smashed.
so, im thinking that would be perfect.

In the Meantime, have a happy and safe holiday. Don't be stupid and drive drunk, seriously. The cabbies need the money too.

I leave you with this picture, a soft kiss under the mistletoe, and a promise that I will return to posting soon....

If you happen to trip in to the Naughty Lounge for the Holidays, pull up a barstool... I'm pouring shots!

xxx Emma ooo

Happt HNT and a verry verry Merry to ya!

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
an i-vibe under the tree.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
two ben wha balls and an i-vibe under the tree.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Three tubes of lube, ben wha balls and an i-vibe under the tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Four Golden boys, three tubes of lube, two ben wha balls, and an i-vibe under the tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 5 golden cock rings!
Four golden boys, three tubes of lube, two ben wha balls, and an i-vibe under the tree.


On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Six hearty spankins, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, four golden boys, three tubes of lube, two ben wha balls, and an i-vibe under the tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Seven lovely pornos, six hearty spankins, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, four golden boys, three tubes of lube, two ben wha balls, and an i-vibe under the tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
well, i really wanted the eight maids a milking, but he said the cows didn't do it for him.

So well... what can I do? Nothing. It's all about him.

Seven lovely pornos, six hearty spankins, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, four golden boys, three tubes of lube, two ben wha balls, and an i-vibe under the tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Nine strippers stripping, eight maids no cattle, seven lovely pornos, six hearty spankins, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, four golden boys, three tubes of lube, two ben wha balls, and an i-vibe under the tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Ten lacey panties, Nine strippers stripping, eight maids no cattle, seven lovely pornos, six hearty spankins, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, four golden boys, three tubes of lube, two ben wha balls, and an i-vibe under the tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Eleven cocks for sucking, ten lacey panties, nine strippers stripping, eight maids no cattle, seven lovely pornos, six hearty spankins, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, four golden boys, three tubes of lube, two ben wha balls, and an i-vibe under the tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... *ahem*

DP. and it's exactly what I wanted.

What? I mean, I think Santa would think this outfit appropriate for cookie and milk servage... don't you?

Happy HNT, and Very Happy Holidays!

If you want to learn more about HNT, click on the rolling box and talk to my big sweet Santa daddy, Osbasso!

Alright, first the rules

This is an unusual time to post but, I before I kick off the highly anticipated (apparently) Cock Appreciation Week I think there should be some full frontal rules and confessions:

1. I confess that CAW will really only be three days; T, W, and FRI. I'm reserving HNT and taking a respite from chronic masturbation after looking at cock for two whole days; which would be Thursday... then back for more on Friday.

2. There will be no matching of penises to bloggers. If something is even mentioned to pair a set to a guy, I will remove the comment immediately... I know it sounds strict, but I think that since we're dealing with sensitive-egoitis male wise we should use caution. I know you ladies can understand this; you never know when there's a case of penis envy lurking.

2.5 As such there will be no declaring of favorites, we are not voting or favoring. If you want to shoot me your email confessing your love for a certain one, I will probably agree... but I STILL wont tell you who it belongs to ladies.

3. I confess that I have no idea why you guys get penis envy. Christ if I had your dicks I'd be living large with my fly down all day long. And still don't get the whole size issue yall have either... once it's hard and in charge it rocks the house regardless.

3.5 Also, if any of you find yourselves in my area... *ahem* look me up for a spell.

3.75. I also confess that my mouth is watering. fyi.

4. I'm a little catty about the lack of penises of people i THOUGHT were going to participate but didn't. I hope you feel a twinge of guilt... it's not like I haven't seen it before. Well, maybe not yours... or yours.
As soon as I receive them I will take #4 down... until then... I'm thinking about listing names. lol. Or give you toilet-swirlies... I'm liking the latter.

5. All CAW posts will be posted below this one... that way the 82 year old lady that is enjoying her familes blog and clicks 'next blog' 'cause she's curious doesn't have a freaking heart attack at the big boner emitting from her screen. It's hell to check this blog in the library too... fyi.

So with that... I bring you.... well.... *squeel* I love men.

An end to myths and a little bit of info

So with heavy hearts and aching g-spots we say good-bye to the ultimate in appreciating the fallacies that plague us women with desire. Since this post is secondary to another, I will not go on and journal any wisdom in regards to cock and why I love it... You should know this by now.

But before we end the party, there are still a few cocks left that I'd like to appreciate... And a few myths I think we should clear up about out male friend, and the dumb guy attached to it.

Let's talk about protecting our investment as women.

Be kind to your penis - treat it well. Because if you do you will reap the rewards of a happy cock that just gives and gives. Sure without the necessary fucking and sucking that it needs, pay close attention to the suggestions I'm offering to ease your "am I being attentive and respectful to his dick" issues:

No teasing unless they've instigated it; that way you can safely say "It's all your fault!"

There is such thing as blue-balls. It's called penile congestion (or priapism), and it occurs when the vascular area of the penis becomes too engorged and is denied it's full cycle of release and return (if you will).
I hear it's extremely painful and can occur in men and women (for women the pain would be in the clitoris).
Prolonged exposure to a unattended to hard-on can provoke erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Nobody wants that, you or him. Angry penis *shiver*

There has been many opinions on whether 'blue balls' really exists or not. Mind you that anybody who tells you there is no such thing, is dead wrong.

Don't hit it or jam the poor thing... Ever. If it loves you, love it back.

You can break your penis. Yes, you can.

We all know that there are no bones in your dick for which to snap. But still, a penis can be injured and broken. I know it sounds funny to us women but really it is no laughing matter and it happens all the time in the dumbest of places.

How does one break a penis? ummm well this article had all sorts of examples on how it can happen, plus a lot of other useful information. I think the slamming it in a car door suggestion was a bit wretched.. But it can happen :)

K, breakage of the penis (or penile fracture) occurs when the endothelium surrounding the corpora cavernosum tissue that protects the erection breaks or tears. Resulting in a snapping sound, bruising, and extreme discomfort (as you can imagine).

For those of you not familiar with what a cross-sectioned penis looks like, I have provided a picture and another diagram from Gray's Anatomy that I thought was a great representation and view of this appendage in itself.

I just saw all the guys reading this flinch when I said "resulting in a snapping sound"... Cool.

The underwear myth is a myth.

You can free ball, tighty-whitey, thong, boxer... Whatever. Your balls aren't gonna know the difference. Why?
Well because they have a close neighbor called a scrotum that provides them with beer and ice cream if it gets too hot in there.
Okay, that was a cool visual.. Imagine the millions of sperm chugging a beezos with ice cream spoons in hand.

Clinically speaking (again), a scrotum maintains the temp for your sperm. The controlled environment setting is around 93 degrees... The closer your sack is to your body, the better chance the good ol' Mr. Scrotum is gonna flip on the A.C for ya! And vice versa if they hang far from your body.


I don't care what you say, I'm not having sperm for breakfast every day.

Sperm is not necessarily nutritional, and I thought I would make this a point. Do I wanna hear my husband offer me a table spoon of super-special protein every morning? Sure!
But don't lie to me and tell me it's nutritional, cause it's not. I'm onto ya guys, you can't fool me on this one... Let's educate the other ladies just in case they fall prey to your "healthy cream" line. Um... Healthy creme? No, healthy cream.. yikes.

anyway. Here's the nutritional value of sperm (in a nutshell):
ooh, did you see that pun? Look at it go!

There are 5 calories in a teaspoon of sperm (approx. 300,000,000 sperm).
The calories are made mostly of enzyme and sugar proteins; with vitamin C, citric acid, phosphate, bicarbonates, and zinc taking up the back seat. Add to that some water... And well
yeah
its...........Like a sports drink.

funny that.

Point is, it's not necessarily nutritional in the terms of you missed your morning dose dear so take it this evening type of thing. Don't fall prey to that ladies! If you miss your daily, you'll live. kinda.

and so glad it's not fattening. So girls... Drink up :)


Alright then, with that I bid adieu to our total appreciation of cock. Hopefully sometime soon we can do this again. I had fun enjoying the differences and uniqueness of the male physique. And I want to thank each and every one of you that participated in our Cock Appreciation Week a big thank you --- and a naked hug.. Because, I think you'd like that.

I couldn't possibly have finished this post.

Before writing the next installment of CAW, it occured to me that I needed some inspiration.

The kind of inspiration that makes you wanna write for days. So I gathered dear husband into the bedroom and played with my beloved cock, getting a jump start on my creativity if you will. I always write from experience folks, no better way to do it. So, about me saying my beloved cock...

Yes it's mine, and I've put up with 7 years of shit to call it that.

Sure I am fully aware about how I feel about dick, but reliving the moment made me remember how empowering it is to hold a big hard one between my lips.
Nice.
I must say on behalf of 99.5 percent of my women readers that nothing is more powerful than making a man sucumb to her mouth.

This empowering, very dominant-oriented, fascinating feeling allows us to not only enjoy the experience selfishly, but to give all of our sensories to you in that way as well.

to taste you on our lips and tongue.
to smell you, ummm especially after you've showered.
to feel the tickle of your pubic hair against our noses... if you have it.
to hold your hard member in our smallish hands. (well, my hands are small anyway)
to hear you like it.

and then we look up at you with that sweet innocent "I really want to please you" look with your schlong hanging half way in our mouths... circling our tongues around the ridge of your cock head.

k. that's enough of that, seriously. No really, I'm having a difficult time typing with one hand... hunt, peck, hunt, peck. Here's a qoute for you ladies to absorb while I finish myself off here:

Thou regard thy mans penis as night and day, wise women earn their trade that way....
-anonymous

Anybody in a relationship will tell you how they deal with their man's appendage. Some women train it to 'go off' when they want it to, ditching the times they don't think it's appropriate. Others are more submissive and go with the flow and do the whole 'have too' routine.
I know many that restrict playing with theirs at certain times or places. I call them the missionary fallatiasts.

I deal with my husbands cock like the sun and the moon.
That's how I get by.

Ahhh.. so the Moon goes as follows:
If its flacid and conducting other business such as well... anything other than paying attention to me; that's my que to get shit done. It's my chore time, my down time, my curling hair or making homemade play doh time. Tivo time.

The flacid man is a piece of art in itself, i mean to say sure... it's not rigid in all it's glory. But it's soft, pliable, comfortable, and perfect for cuddles on Sunday mornings with flannel sheets and down comforters. *sigh*

A flacid penis is also good for sweat pant grabbing, bending and tucking... pulling and manipulating... playful tugging (or adjustment tugging, which is just as fascinating to me). And I like it when my husband allows me to hold it for him while he pees. That's a treat. As soon as I teach the fucker not to fart during, it will be better.

flacid penises are our friends and should never be kicked, stomped, bruised, chopped-off, or god forbid bitten. ummm. If his penis is calm. He is calm. That's poetry right there.

But then there's the Sun... and it's all about getting the show on!
Bustle bustle honey, there's work to be done in my pants.
Yes, yes... when it gets atleast even semi--watch out babes... it's all over from there. Because this is where he gets charming, complimentary, apologetic sometimes, and also sometimes regretful about the asshole he's been up until this point.

But I like the sun, it keeps me from housework.

Give me a big, strong, firm, veiny mother fucker and I'm to the bedroom like a cat on a hot tin roof. Yep, the kind of swollen erection that curves over or upwards and pulls your skin to it's tightest. If the head is bulging that's even better... enticing even. And we'll want it... As for myself and my addiction to hard cock? No stopping me, nothing.

If it's there it's getting used. In the car, the house, the neighbors house, the grocery store, the... well you get my drift.
As a woman I become quite fascinated at watching you grow... especially when closing my eyes and actually feeling the growth swell and fill my mouth. That's almost as much of a turn as well, anything for me. And it's fun. Yeah, it is.

shirk.
I'm really having difficulty with this post people. Just want you to know that.
In fact, if I keep going I'm gonna burn a hole right through my p.j's... poor things.

*ding dong*

Oh shit, there's some one at the door... would you answer it for me? I need to wash my hands.

Welcome one, welcome all

Let's rock out with some cock out... Shall we?

NOUN: pl.
The male organ of copulation in higher vertebrates, homologous with the clitoris. In mammals, it also serves as the male organ of urinary excretion.

Excretion...HAWT.

Behold the mysterious and ever-powerful fallacy that drives a man to stupidity and a woman to her knees. What is it about a hard cock that sends shivers wayyyy up my spine and back down again? I have yet to behold (or just hold) one that I didn't like, and it's proof positive for my sexuality to almost always try and have one at my disposal. Even if it is silicone for the moment.

There is so much to appreciate when it comes to the male form. For ages, the mans body was made to be shunned as ugly and unappreciated whilst the women took on the perfect nude persona... I think that's a bunch of bullshit. I think a naked man in my bed is the pertiest picture I've ever seen. And I'm glad to see that more and more, men (and the public in general) are getting more comfortable with their 'gift'. *chuckle*

Now let me get comfortable with it. please.

I worship dick.
Of course so do some religions and small villages...
buI no, i really do. The minute I come in contact with a hard-on I start praying:

"Oh god I hope I get to feel that...."
"Jesus, is that what I think it is pressing up against me?"
"Lord, the sooner I get that in my mouth the happier I'll be."

see, prayin. no lie.

So ladies, what do we know (I mean truly know) about a man's cock?
Did we really pay all that much attention in health class to the clinical dry lessons brought forth to us by stodgy old stale teachers?
NO. I passed notes in class about how much better it would be with live diagram... movie projectors bite ass.

So does listening to the teacher go "Ummm... and the uh Vas Deferens carries sperm to the uhhhhh....."

Us ladies, we try not to know anything about a dick medically, besides blood flow... it kinda stops there for us. And we didn't catch the part where your balls come into play. As far as we're concerned they're decoration until they become a necessity.. and then we baby them. Get the pun? No? *sigh*

What we do know when the time is right is this:

-- we can see it through your pants most of the time, no matter how hard you try to disguise it.

-- If you pull it out in front of us, we'll look. It's a knee-jerk reaction.

-- If you pull it out hard in front of us, our fingers will itch to touch it (another knee jerk reaction).

-- You can do parlor tricks with yours, and frankly I'm really feeling cheated about that.

-- It makes you forget who we are as a person. Which, in most cases is borderline alright, unless it's our birthday or anniversary. In which case, you should remember who we are since we've been giving this shit up to you for the last umm-teen years.

-- It makes us forget who we area as a person. On the 'party end' of an erection I must say that I have not only forgotten my name, but my partners name too. Which leads us safely into the next one ....

-- It makes us ladies do kinda weird, strange things. Like speak in tongues. Or... even stranger than that - not speak at all.



As an end to this post, since I'm rushed and just about every woman that reads this blog is hammering my IM, Email, and Comments to see some dick...
I will leave you with these ever enlightening animal kingdom facts that Jeff Corwin and I were discussing during foreplay just last week.


. A barnacle has the largest penis of any other animal in relation to its size.

. A blue whale lets out 400 gallons of sperm everytime it unloads. Approximately 40 gallons of this make it into the mate, leaving 360 gallons in the water. And we wonder why the ocean is so salty?

.A male flea's reproductive organ is twice as long as it's body.

.Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour.

.Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning/fall.

Until I return with more tomorrow. Ciao!

Aaaahhh.

Damn. I'm telling ya, I need a shower... a nice cold shower. SO I'm off to do that and there's potential that after finishing up this story I could be all over myself for quite some time. So here... *smirk*

Here is the finalization of the "Spank my ass and conference call me..."

Part one
Part duex

Enjoy, I will be...

until Paris ;)

Spank my ass and conference call me...

It’s a busy Monday at work, and I’m knee deep in my taskbar when my boss announces in on my phone “Emma, could you come in here for a moment… and grab your note pad please.”

“Yes sir, I’ll be there in just a minute.” I finish up what I was doing, stuff my pencil behind my ear and head into his office with note pad ready.

He looks at me through steepled fingers and begins “Alright so I’m having an old friend and business person fly in this morning for a meeting. It is essential that we make him feel very much at home since it’s been years since I have seen him and if we can make this deal it will mean large contracts for us.”
Then he leans up in his chair and motions for me to take notes.
“He will arrive at the airport around 10:30, take a cab straight to the office and we will have the meeting. Your job is to book the hotel accommodations and restaurant reservations for dinner this evening. Reservations will be for four, around 7:00pm, please make sure we have the best table.”

I scrawl the times and agenda down on my pad. He then continues “Make certain we have proper presentation material and financials in order as soon as you can.”

“Yes sir, I’ll do that right now.” I still scribble and underline financials… I despise pulling financials. No reason for it besides the reminder that soooo many people make soooo much more money than I do. *sigh*

“And if you could call that one company to deliver a fresh lunch please…”
My boss surmises in groups of thoughts, and he always makes sure the bases are covered when conducting business. “Tee time at 3pm before dinner, that will give him plenty of time to get back to the hotel for dinner….” He hesitates and scratches his head “Yeah, I think that’s all for now.”

I smile, reminding him of that one company’s name and assuring him that all will be done and to his satisfaction. I then return to my office and release a large ball of excitement I had kept inside when he told me I could do scheduling all morning.

I love that shit seriously.
Nothing like calling a 5 star hotel, restaurant, and priority tee time at the golf course. Must be nice to be rich and famous… must be real nice.

So, I got to play a little and holy shit that was more exciting than paperwork… which came soon after as I prepared the financials and gathered the company presentations.

Two hours later I was called by the receptionists’ desk; our client had arrived so it was time to put on my game face and go out to meet my boss’s comrade. I made my way out into the lobby and immediately pinpointed the tall well dressed Italian suit wearer. Yep, that was him for sure. I shook his hand and greeted him warmly, introducing myself as “The Assistant”. He in turn introduced himself as Thomas and extended his arm to a young woman on his right. She couldn’t have been more than 23 or 24 years old. She wore a tailored business suit that fit her curves perfectly, and the lacey camisole underneath her suit jacket exposed itself a bit, giving her a very feminine touch. Her blonde hair was loosely held in a French twist atop her head; and she wore glasses similar to mine. In her arms were clutched magazines and a portfolio case which bore the initial T. “Hi, my name is Terri, I’m Thomas’s personal assistant”

We shook hands, I noticed her hands were extremely soft… her nails were manicured unlike mine which looked hurried and tired. “It’s nice to meet you Terri, I’m Emma.”
Her bright smile amplified and contrasted through her painted glossy lips as we exchanged pleasantries. She rubbed her thumb a little as the hand exchange ended; though I swore it was my imagination. I led them back to the conference room, offered them drinks, and hurried back to inform my boss.

“Sir, Thomas and his assistant are here. I made them comfortable in the conference room.”
My boss looked excited “Great great! Alright, grab your notebook for meeting notes, the lunches and join us in the conference room.” He straightens his tie and grabs the items I had prepared earlier “We’ll have a nice lunch meeting.”

Damn, I like lunch meetings. Especially the ones with assorted platters of fruits, mini sandwiches, and veggies, it’s heaven I tell ya.

Lunch was delicious, and the small talk was excellent. Thomas runs a large company in California looking to expand his business venture to other areas. My boss owns most of the area, and is more than happy to sell or lease it out with a contract in our benefit. Even more so to a good old Italian friend. I got to hear about California business and regulations (which to me is fascinating, our states are so similar now), and how the weather has been warm down there. I find myself envious to hear that, as they complained they would never see a white Christmas in California. The horror.

But my attention had grown fixated on Thomas’s beautiful assistant most of the time. I found myself thinking about what it could be like to have this meeting just her and I… and then of course I had to stifle and keep from sticking to the chair as I could feel myself beginning to moisten a bit. “Ever been to California Emma?” Thomas breaks my fixation.

“Oh yes, many times… I love the weather down there actually. I’m quite jealous.” I chuckle a bit and adjust my glasses. “I could use some warm Santa Anna winds right now.”

“Well you come down any time Emma, we’ll take good care of you.” Terri grinned and evil sort of sexy teasing grin. But then, I think it was just my imagination? I became a bit flustered at this proposal so I shifted, but the rubbing of my thighs together only made me more excited.


“Thank you Terri, I appreciate the invitation. I imagine you would be very hospitable if I did.” Okay so I was reaching there, but mostly for reaction. Sometimes it works and I’ll be god damned if I’m not gonna find out whether this hot thing digs me like I dig her.

She smirked and blushed behind her glasses “Yes, I believe I would.”

Holy Shit.

We stared across from each other almost daringly, with a glimmer of tease making it’s self more prominent as we both smiled and took note of what the other may be thinking. My nipples hardened a bit as my temperature rose from the excitement taking over my body… at the thought of tasting her.

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and changed her look to one of confidence as she rubbed her pencil eraser across her bottom lip a bit. This is not my imagination… no way. I’ve done that same thing a hundred times and I know it’s a come on. It has to be a come on.

“Alright, so let’s begin the not-so-fun stuff, shall we?” My boss beams as he pushes his plate to the side and pulls out the presentations. I sigh and put my excitement to the wayside for the moment; barely. I attend to moving the lunch mess out of the way, then return to assist with notes for the meeting. But I’ll be dammed if I wasn’t distracted.

Aside from the peeking up from notepad exchange I was having with Terri, the meeting seemed to take forever. It now being two hours after we had eaten; we were all kinda dazed from the combination of turkey mini sandwiches and overload of legal and regulatory information; we ready for a ‘gear switch.’

I reminded the men of their 3pm tee-time, and dinner at 7pm…. Trying to entice them into leaving; perhaps even persuading Terri to allow me to show her to the hotel.

“Well, let’s just finish this up over a round then.” Thomas sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“Which round old friend?” My boss teased and laughed “The golf kind or the drink kind?... Or both maybe?”

“I say a little of both.” Thomas chuckled back and rose from his chair. Terri followed suit as she gathered her materials into her portfolio and zipped it tightly. She then stretched…. Yes, she did… it was nice (understating there).

I rose now as well and gathered the lunch mess, and heading off towards the kitchen area. Terri followed to assist me, clutching her portfolio under her arm and manning two large pitchers of water. Her suit button popped open as she juggled her load exposing more of the camisole she wore underneath and the crests of her two very pert breasts “Damnit, It always does that.” As she looks down her glasses slide a bit, she then peeks around the hallway to ensure nobody else is around to se “Oh well, I don’t have free hand to fix it right now so I hope nobody sees.” She giggles. I giggle. We do our kitchen thing and she fixes her button. “So, you’re staying at the Four Seasons, I hope that’s okay.. though I only booked one room so I’ll have to go in and fix that.”

“No problem, I need to reorganize these papers anyway so if I could use your office for just a few minutes I would really appreciate it.”

“Absolutely you can use my office; I’ll let you sit at my desk while I call the hotel.”

Terri and I make our way down the hallway to my office, I got to walk behind her for a moment and took note of the way her suit complimented her curves. Damn, she is really good looking, and normally I’m not into blondes… what the hell? I think to myself. Perhaps it’s the tanned skin, the bright smile, the great cleavage.
Then I had to call myself on the fact that I was thinking way too much like a man, and I stifled.

Once inside my office, I make her comfortable at my desk and watch her begin to sprawl her papers about and re-file them. I sit across from her and make her reservation, requesting fresh flowers in her room when she arrives. She giggles and smirks as I make the request… then she blushes. “Emma, you don’t have to do that.”

I cover the phone with my hand “Nonsense, every beautiful woman should have fresh flowers in her room. I wouldn’t have it any other way, why should you?”

She laughs, realizing that I had turned the blatant hit-on tactic into an egotistical thing instead. “Okay now that’s funny.”

Thomas and my boss appear in the doorway and announce that they are leaving for tee-time. I inform them that Terri and I would be more than happy to take his luggage to the hotel for him and check him in. They oblige and leave almost immediately, waving quickly as they shuffle out. We follow them down the hallway and into the lobby, saying our farewells as they disappear down the avenue.

We stand in the empty hallway, then Terri asks the inevitable question “So Emma, should we get some stuff done around here, or should we just check in now?”

I lean into her and say “we could just go check in, but that wouldn’t be any fun now would it?”

She giggled, and that was when I knew she felt the same way I did… horny as hell. Her fingers came up to remove her glasses, and I knew I was in for an experience of a lifetime as I leaned in to kiss her.

to be continued....

Spank my ass and conference call me.... (duex)

Her lips were warm and tender; they enveloped mine perfectly as I slipped my tongue in her mouth and she opened a bit and did the same. My chest heaved excitedly from my quickening pulse and my pussy got hotter than ever. I reached up to brush my hair from my face and caress hers, but she drew away before my fingertips could grace her cheek.

“Emma” she looked at me longingly but a bit shy “We’re standing in the hallway.”

Still in a daze from the events just before, I realize that we are indeed standing in the hallway of my office building making out, which I’m sure the male co-workers would find extremely inspiring; but the female ones would get offended (maybe) so it would be best to move, she’s right. “Oh right… we should maybe…” I couldn’t help it, I had to chuckle evil for a moment, but then became embarrassed a bit as she just looked at me as if I were pathetic. “Okay well we could move it into my office then.” I started to prance down the hall bound for the office, with Terri following close behind.

“I’m moving this” I popped my webcam off my desk and hid it in my desk drawer “just in case…” Terri laughed and agreed that it was probably a really good idea to do so. She then began to pick up her papers, not paying any attention to organization at this point… when I just reached out, grabbed her to me, and kissed her hard.

Though I thought she might push away a bit this time, she didn’t and I was pleasantly surprised. A shot of passion canvassed my spine, throwing tingles through my body. Her hands moved up from my waist to my breasts as mine moved down from her neck to her shoulders. I kissed her softly down her cheek and began to suck and kiss on her neck; resting at the nape and staying there to enjoy her taste and her smell. I breathe in deeply and kiss her harder; she smells so good.

Her fingers fumble for the buttons on my blouse, her head tilts back as she affirms that my kisses feel good to her as well. Then she leans to begin kissing me the same, we meet instead to lock lips; her hand enters my blouse… my hand cruises up her thigh and rests on her garter line. Our tongues play a provocative game of hide-and-seek as we both are becoming heated and aroused to the point of no turning back.

Now blouse completely open and her hands playing upon me, I notice that my other hand has made it’s way to her neck and is gripping a bit. She doesn’t seem to mind so I leave it there and return to concentrate on the other that has now passed her garter and is gliding along the soft skin of her inner thigh. She gasps a little and tenses, but I assure her.

“Are you nervous?” I whisper through heavy breath.

“Yes” she replies, kissing me gently now and then saying “I’ve never been with another woman before.”

My hand ceases it’s journey and my other hand releases and slides to her shoulder. I lean away a bit; almost apprehensive but seeing in her eyes that this is true. “But you were…”

Her hand extends and she places a finger on my lips to shush me, giggling a bit at my bewildered expression. “I know, I can’t explain it either.” I pull back into her but still resist kissing just yet. She continues “Chemistry maybe, I don’t know. But I like it.” Then she smiles warmly and begins to part my blouse from my shoulder, kissing my collarbone and up to just ender my ear. My eyes roll back in my head and my nipples become like rocks… she whispers “I want to do this, I really do Emma.”

Before I know it her suit jacket is off, her camisole is peeling nicely off her body and revealing two gorgeous perfect large breasts. I work down with my hot mouth over her chest, sucking and licking at her nipples; caressing them with my fingertips as I go. She has hoisted herself upon my desk to a sitting, legs spread position and I stand between them enjoying the vivaciousness of this hot woman giving herself to me fully.

I reach around behind her to swipe the rest of the remaining paperwork off of my desk, she laughs as the papers float and clutter the floor. “I guess we’ll have to reorganize those again” I mumble through pursed lips as they embody her firm pink nipples.

Her hands unhook my bra to release mine as well, I help to shirk it from me a bit and allow it to fall amidst the paper covered floor. Immediately her hands touch my breasts ever so timidly; I return one hand to hers welcoming her to fondle as she pleases “That feels good… don’t be shy.” I smile and run my finger through her, escorting the strand that had fallen in her eyes to return tucked behind her ear.
We kiss again passionately and our tongues play as if they'd never parted, I break and work my mouth down past her neck, her shoulders, her breasts (though I wanted to stay there again for awhile), and her stomach; stopping only to play a bit on her belly button with my tongue. She giggles “That tickles” but by the time I look up, she has closed her eyes in anticipation for what’s next.

I drop to one knee and run my hands from her feet to lower thigh “you have beautiful legs…” I run kisses up them, first the right then the left… from toe to knee. Her excitement matches mine as her goose bumps are showing through her stockings.
“Do you want me to do this?” I ask once more, giving her the option to stop if she were uncomfortable. Instead she looks down at me and grins coyly “Oh yes,” she sighs “At this moment there’s nothing I want more.”

My hands slide up and meet with her panties. A wave of passion shoots over me, my pussy which had already been quite hot and damp now begins to swell and become more wet, almost saturating my panties. Her fingers massage my neck and shoulders gently as I thrust her skirt up a bit to reveal her heavenly thighs and moistened panties. My mouth begins to water, her excitement has compounded as her legs spread a little more welcoming me to kiss her.

I do, on her thighs first and then up toward her sweet spot. I grip her thigh a bit as her nails dig slightly into my neck; the eagerness is unbearable for both of us. I kiss and lick her pussy through her panties while I unbuckle my slacks and open them to touch my own hot, excited clit. “God Em that feels so good...” she moans as I probe a bit through the soft silkiness, just barely tasting the slightest hint of her through this satin-like barrier.
“Take them off” she leans back onto the desk as I slide them down, also taking the skirt and unhooking the garter; removing those also. I stand to my feet and pause for a moment, allowing my pants to slide to my ankles, and step out of them.

I look upon her laying ready on my desk in nothing but her stockings and shoes. “Teri, you’re absolutely beautiful” I am amazed at her beautiful body, and a little more than impressed that she’s openly willing to fuck me on my office desk. Moving close and bending; nearly hovering over her… I kiss her softly, affectionately and tell her that I will make this worthy of being her first time; unforgettable even. She braces my face with her hands and runs her fingertips through my hair as she smiles warmly.

I revisit the places I’d been happily with my mouth, tasting again her luscious breasts. Running my tongue over her abdomen and kissing her pelvis lustfully as my finger plays between her legs, just under her hood; working the very top of her slit in a circular motion. Her legs squeeze together a bit, pressing me between them… but I love it, I meet my finger with my face now as she moans quietly. I taste my finger and note that she is absofuckinglutely delicious, and I’m positive that this experience is going to be just as memorable to me as it is her!

Hesitating for a moment to tease, I insert my tongue into her hot moisten folds. Finger still working her pussy and sliding down to massage her clit; my tongue and finger work together to enhance her stimulatory pleasure. A back arch was all it took to convince me that I was doing it right. I dive my tongue a little deeper into her pussy… she jumps and moans a little louder; her hands grip the top of my head and slide down to rest behind my ears.

Overcome by the way she feels and tastes I allow my hand to slip down between my legs and play with my clit as well. I can feel my pussy is sopping wet and ready for a good eating as well, but I was not expecting that… I was expecting her to just enjoy me, and take in fully the eroticism. I plunge my finger into my pussy as I do the same into her with my other hand, again she jumps and groans, but whispers “that feels so good, uhmygod it really does… keep going.”

I finger fuck both of us as my tongue plays devils advocate to her clit, sucking and flicking it but stopping to run itself along the length of her. The action of dipping down every once and awhile to meet with my finger and circle around the outside of her hole, allowed me to taste her sweet juices before returning back to the top, which apparently was a good place since it was driving her crazy. She wiggled a little and moved her hand from my head to spread herself open for me.
I obliged by nuzzling my mouth around her labia and sucking gently just a bit “Jesus Teri you taste so good.” She moans in return and giggles a bit “that tickles Em, I like it.”

I remove my finger from her and taste it; she looks down at me abruptly, wanting to know why I had stopped for the moment. I remove my finger, and help myself to my feel once again; moving around to the side of her, she lays there wriggling a bit, and confused “What’s the matter Emma? Why did you stop?”

I smirk down to her innocence and say “I want you to taste me Terri… tell me if you like it… suck on my finger.”

She welcomes my finger into her mouth, I melt as I watch her suck all of my own cum off of my finger and then rub the tip of it down her chin “continue Emma, unless you want me to eat you out.” I’m thinking to myself I’m so making her cum right now as I bend to kiss her and move back around to the end of my desk, twisting and circling my tongue between her legs once again. Though now it seems the anticipation of stopping and starting had made her extra sensitive to my pleasuring her, as once I returned her response to it had become more vocal and absolutely more quantitive.

My arms extended up over the valley of her beautiful body and came to pinch and caress her rigid nipples. I knew I could easily cum without the help of my fingers if I were to watch her reap the benefits of my diligence… so I continued to do this, until she moaned loud enough that I thought for sure somebody would hear us. I paid the noise no mind though as I watched her face flush and relax when she came; and came hard. I thrust two fingers deep inside of me as I crouch, bringing her to climax; at the same time thrusting me into the ecstasy of orgasm. Grinding her pelvis into my face and laughing from the elation; I reveled in tasting her nectar that had been coerced favorably, and lapped it away until she and I were both spent.

Hair tossed, office a mess, and completely clothes-less… we pause for a moment to look upon each others catastrophe and laugh. I help her to sit and we exchange a long sweet kiss. “So that’s what I taste like huh?” She laughs again, and then gets up to retrieve her clothing.
I do the same and throw her lacey camisole over to her, commenting about how much bigger her breasts are then mine and thank god because I don’t need the back pain. “So, shall we just leave the office like this and go check in?” I ask her.

“Prolly not” she begins to pick up the papers, putting them in a haphazard stack on the desk “Let’s at least put them up here.” I notice she’s still giggling and a bit zesty now.

“Did you like it?” I inquired as I opted out of putting my panties back on, stuffing them in my laptop case. “I mean, well enough to do it again? Or was this like experimental and you’re not sure?”

“Well, I think that you should make sure my rooms arrangements are appropriate definitely… especially the shower.” She puts her glasses on and smiles, wrapping her sublime breasts back into her blazer.

I nod and whip my hair back into a ponytail, picking up her portfolio case which had apparently had some contact with us by the stain that now adorned the front of it. “Umm, Terri… were you sitting on this portfolio while we were doing it?”

“Yeah, I think I was… but I didn’t notice… is there a T on my ass?” She bent over to expose a large cursive T that was now branded into her right cheek. I laughed so hard I nearly fell over; she stood and turned to me laughing as well.

“Well, I think your portfolio case will have to be replaced hon.” I chuckled, handing it back to her and grabbing a suitcase.

“No Emma, my boss’s portfolio case will though...”

We will laugh about that …. Forever.