Que it

*I need some sleep - by the Eels*

I'm having one of those quasi fucked-up weeks right now. I'm not sure if it's the inevitable Vegas withdrawal, or the fact that it's rained here for like two months without a break... It's wearing on me though that's for sure.

I feel the need to free write tonight for some reason, I guess to get some things off my chest :) In a good way people, no worries. I'm not depressed per se, or even overwhelmed, I think it's more like a venting-type thing... so hear me out.

I'm taking a few days off from blogging, hence my posting of the HNT picture on Wednesday instead of Thursday. I have loads of work I continue to 'put off' and hope I can catch up to it later but no go... and this is one of those situations where I say Stop the World I need to get off.

yes. literally... I'm a literal kind of girl... you gotta problem wit' dat?

I have bits and pieces of me strewn everywhere with no organization and I'm spread a bit thin. Imagine if you will, your life a bookshelf and your responsibilities as books. For every responsibility beit small and necessary (i.e brushing your teeth), or large and committed (like having a child)... k, thats more like 10 books actually...

There's less room for books when there's too many so you have to take one down.

wow. my brain just popped... didja hear it?

I experienced a spark with somebody, and it's bothersome because it's fairly distracting and ultimately unreachable without patience. It could be the kind of relationship that would be prosperous for both parties, but terribly inconvenient and akward... baby steps even.
Messy poo-poo baby steps.

But I can't stop thinking about it. And I can't deny the feeling. Until there's a clear path of acceptance and direction from both of us... I will ponder it, some days more than others.... But I'm not shaking it... I just wish it were a little easier to deal with and communicate it completely to the other party... Though I know they understand and most likely feel the same way. I hope.

Do I love this person? No no no people.. well yeah kinda, but not like leavemyhusbandandhappyhome, no way!

I think we would both agree that it's nothing like that. Besides, it just... no, no way. I only expect one person to ever love me, and that's my husband. And he feels the same for me. Love has different levels in my opinion, and nobody replaces that of my husbands.... nobody. ever.

Really it's been bothering me for a very long time, but only recently has it really truly surfaced. And though I can deny it til I'm blue in the face.... to everybody and anybody.... I can't deny it to myself so I feel this is a good time for introversion. And deep thinking.

Just not during work hours apparently. Which by the way are getting very long for me. Another good reason why a short break is essential :)

No worries though folks. I'm not depressed, not so into the deep thinking that I'll lose myself (i hope). I just need time for family, sex, mental exchange, and soul-piecing. Besides, my social calendar this week is a little pressing too. I'm sure all of you can understand that.

I wear Red for this HNT... this is the Lili coolmax wicking tank top I wore on the plane home. HOLLA Blondie for the cleavage! Red is the color of lust, love, desire, affection, and power. It's exactly how I feel right now...

I will try to peek in at my comments and your blogs as much as possible of course, and please leave me a comment or two dammit!!! Just because I'm not hanging out, *snicker* doesn't mean I don't wanna hear from you!

And in the meantime, Enjoy this link thats been lifting my spirits for the last couple of days... Really, you'll laugh like hell (I thought of you Helskel when i saw this *giggle for Jack Bauer*). Really I had tears coming out of my eyes and I spit Coke once or twice.

Chuck Norris does not tea bag the ladies, he potato-sacks them.

Oh, and if that doesn't make you feel better, I threw in a cleavage shot for ya (In other words a top shot of the shirt).
See? I told you this shirt kicked ass. THIS is the one I should have worn to the club!!!! *sigh* k, maybe not.

Happy HNT Everybody... See ya real soon!


If you want to learn more about HNT, click on the rolling box and talk to my big sweet HNT daddy, Osbasso!

Follow up Post to follow up Blondies follow up... Post.

**to read blondies assessment, please click here and see my OC Hottie.


So yeah... Vegas.

What is it about that place that makes your body just go "what the fuck?"

Okay, okay it was probably the inordinate amount of alcohol consumed or the fluffy french pastries we dined on for breakfast. Cheese Danish any body? Raspberry turnover?

yikes on the cholesterol count. But holla for the idontgiveafuckthisisvegasattitude!

Dig the packed mini (honor) bar... It sported chocolate flavored condoms and lube... plus a lovers game all wrapped up in an Eiffel tower... It was soo cool.... $49.00.

not talkin.

Yes definitley holla for the idontgiveafuckthisisvegasattitude!

That exact same attitude found me in my pajamas and sunglasses roaming aimlessly around the casino Sunday morning with a smoke hanging out of my mouth and a constitution to lay waste to my vanitorial needs and sport the dark circles because my hangover was kickin'...

and fuck the no-coffee-maker-in-the-room bullshit.
no, not waiting for room service... High maintenance alcohol poisoned coffeeneeder. If I'm gonna suffer... All ya'll are going to suffer. Thanks for that nice man that wore the WHOLE BOTTLE of Cool Water in the elevator and helped me to polish my "choking it back" skills.

WOOT to the hangover queen! My left kidney hates me and wants me to die.

Let's go down the list of drinks, shall we? I'll try to put them in order until I can't remember.

Blondie - 1 shot pineapple tequila, long island ice tea, 1 duck fart, (uh), K there was something between the duck fart and the red headed slut... jesus, you had a lot of those that night... wait, was it a washington apple too? and another duck fart. K obviously I lost count after MY fourth.

Em - 1 shot pineapple tequila, rum and coke, 1 duck fart, cosmopolitan, washington apple x 2 (shot and drink), duck fart from the mini-bar HA, uh...uhh... OH Hypnotiq and Cran, 2 more duck farts, two more washington apples.

K... nuff said about that. HENCE the audioblogs that will come back to haunt us one day.
But seriously, really, what's up with the striped polo shirts with the white collars? And is blue the 'staple' color for those shirts....Or what? The last time I saw polo shirts that popular was in the early 90's, and even then they were played. I was surprised to see they're back in style because they never did anything for me. Any ladies out there willing to admit to BIG ASS Polo Stripes?

Random observation: Men aren't always pretty when they get closer. Or, you sober up. Or they open their mouth.
Second Random observation: Don't worry about your wedding ring- nobody cares. In fact I think they find it a challenge and place odds for completion of passes.

Paris was a beautiful casino and had most of the amenities you would need at a good resort. I say most because the bed was rock hard and neither of us slept well. ALTHOUGH it had a padded leather headboard.... *Stifle*

We had the water show outside our bedroom window every 10 minutes, and a large movie board that sported Wayne Newton playing a fiddle every 5 minutes... Did you know that you haven't really experienced Vegas unless you've seen Wayne in action. I've seen Wang in action... Does that count?

We went shopping at Bally's and some other places... Bought shoes. What? They're Vegas shoes damnit! Amongst the other things purchased by me:

1. Victoria Secrets black bustier-type top - Which I wore to go dancing in Saturday Evening. And I wonder why the hard-ons were abundant? Well shit it didn't help that Blondie was wearing the same top she is in her profile picture!!!

2. Paris carry-on bag - Which actually turned out to be an awesome purchase as it held my shoes and all the rest of my shit when I couldn't stuff anymore into my seam-busted suitcase (poor thing). Shit people I had 6 pairs of shoes and a suitcase so small it would qualify for carry-on size. I don't wear many clothes.

3. One Mimi Mango Lili coolmax 'wicking' tank - DUDE. Blondie, that rocked not only the airport cleavage but damn it was so nice to NOT share my alcohol perspiratied 'state' with everyone on that flight. I love that top, Im wearing it all the time... I can wear it without a bra and my husband can't believe I made it home safe with it on. HA.

Blondie won capitol on the slots. I fucking didn't. God damnit every time we sat down she'd plop in a $5, hit 2 credits and BLAM; she's a winner... First win was $138.00, second was $60.00...

I sat drinking and cursing her and her god damn machine, every once in awhile I flipped off the guys sitting behind the security cameras for kicks... I know that didn't help, but I wasn't winning shit anyway. I went home a lot poorer needless to say... although in hindsight I spent more on the alcohol then I ever did gambling (which was new for me).

Let's NOT talk about the club that night. In fact let's not talk about anything that happened after, say, 4pm on either night. Let's just smile and say "glad you had a nice time girls, so happy you're back safe and sound..."

not workin for ya? k, too bad. What happens in Vegas......

After the twelfth drink

Alright people, this audioblog follows the one below. Yeah, this one was about 9 drinks later....

yikes.

Needless to say if you're going to fully enjoy either of these audioblogs you must turn your speaker volume down since we got a little rowdy... k I did.

I will follow up with ya'll Monday or Tuesday after I'm done being hung over and jet-lagged. Plus the hand stand on the bed really kicked my ass.

Alright folks, appreciate the snorts, wouldja? It takes being belligerently drunk to snort so well.

powered by Audioblog.com

if you're going to Vegas... you must must must listen to this first. Really, you have to...

Im telling you. You wont get laid unless you do.

check your closet... burn it.

Crazy Eights (HNT)

So before I could even take a deep breath and a shower I'm tagged again by Sugarpunk!
I like to think it was a DP kind of deal but Sassinak had tagged me a while back so really she was there first.
Sug get's sloppy seconds... but I swear I'm worth it ;)

As a victim of tag the rules stated that i list the gender of said partner and list 8 different points of the perfect partner... Though I think this is a bit flawed since mainly I believe men are highly compartmental and cannot provide perfection... but instead, perfect situations.

I can't even imagine trying to encompass what a perfect guy could be *shaking head*
That enigma is beyond comprehension even to imagine with the most open of minds.

I'm not knocking you guys... I'm just saying that well, ya'll have qwerks and it freaks me out how well you hide them. As I've stated before I love all men no matter what, and I accept you for who you are. Basically said, most times I find your qwerks endearing and annoying... which goes without saying.
C'mon admit it.. each and everyone of you has something 'not perfect'.
LOL. NO?

ahh, denial.
It's not just a river in egypt.

K, and now for my crazy 8 perfect man challenge from Sugarpunk :)

Gender: Male mostly, but can apply to both

1: He needs to laugh a lot (with me and sometimes at me)

2: A warm true smile

3: Know the difference between casual sex, making love and fucking
(there's a time and a place for each one... I would be overstepping my boundaries to ask him to know which one at which times.. so we'll just leave it at knowing their differences).

4: Put his hand in the small of my back when we're walking together.

5: Be honest from the beginning (even about the stupid shit)... if that dress looked like shit at the store? Just tell me and let me pout instead of letting me wear it out and hear from my best friend that it looks like shit and you prolly lied to save my feelings.

6: He would never mind the little things.

7: If I cried he would hold me and not question.

8: The perfect man would not be better than me, or less than me; he would be my exact equal.

8 tagged people: ... Blondie, Sass, Snavvlyn, Madame, Tequila Girl, Buttah, Murphy, Johannes

K. Now a couple of random thoughts:

-- How shitty is it that my favorite AC/DC song is now a Nike commercial? I mean, it gets right to the best part of the song and then ends abruptly like that?!?!? TEASE!!!

-- Ummm... one more day and I'm Vegas bound... and that shit rocks.

-- I'm really having difficulty trying to find PJ's to wear to this weekend because I don't own any.. so the sleeping arrangements may get dicey. BATHTUB!

-- Kashmir by Led Zepplin tops my sex song list

-- Ryan Reynolds is still smokin' *scrolling back to yesterday*


Happy HNT people, Big Smooches to all of ya... sexy fuckers.



If you want to learn more about HNT, click on the rolling box and talk to my big sweet HNT daddy, Osbasso!

I love it when you tag me like that

I was tagged by Sass some time ago... I like being tagged by Sass.
It makes me do a happy dance :)
I'm trying to do at least one thing right by her so I thought I would do this today. Besides, it's fairly non-deep thinking or educational and I have a trip to pack for since I'll have NO TIME to do it before I leave this god forsaken place in route for Sin City. Yes, it's quite possible I'll have to take another day of work on the road... or the sky... or whatever.

In turn, I tag Jax, ShyRocket, and The Wedding Party to do the same if they would like :)

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1. Auto Detailer
2. Repo (wo)Man
3. Volunteer CS processor
4. Ad design/Cartoonist


FOUR MOVIES YOU WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Seven
2. The Ususal Suspects
3. Sneakers
4. Blazing Saddles


(although lately, I have to say that I've been watching Blade Trinity way too much.. well, you know... those parts with Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel.. how can you not notice this hotness over AND OVER AGAIN?)


FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE LIVED:
1. Fort Worth
2. Los Angeles
3. A Van
4. I'm really uncool.. I don't have four.


FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1. The First 48
2. Survivor...yes, i still love that show
3. I love the 80's/90's VH-1 shows
4. CSI: Vegas (which brings me to a thought, if you could identify with any CSI character, which would it be... I would have to be Sara Sidle... I'm just way too much like her.. that, and yeah I have a crush on Gil Grissom. It's the grey hair and the arousing intellect that does me in).


FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. oregon coast (every one should be here at least once)
2. san francisco (fucking taxi's)
3. vegas (not talking)
4. sanjuans (breath-taking)


FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOODS:
1. chocolate
2. chinese food (any)
3. fruit snacks
4. cheese stuff crust pizzas (lately, trying to bulk up)


FOUR PLACES YOU WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. in bed, not sleeping *grin*
2. Vegas already
3. Driving in my car without traffic
4. garden grove... because i like the song.

Alrriigghtt, alright... I watch Blade Trilogy for Jessica Beil mostly... k, no. That's not true there's that part where Ryan actually gets all bloody and sweaty and I think that's kinda... well...

*sigh* i can't decide actually, I'll take em both on.

Aphro- Sheen

Some of you have mentioned that I review aphrodisiacs.

GREAT IDEA!

Okay people, you know I really can't commit to doing that... Why?

Because I'm a sex freak and thus doing that would be like energizing Superman with the golden rays of the sun.

Yeah. EN + Aphrodisiac Enhancers = Big Trouble in Little Woman

Not to say that there aren't times that I do use them, because to say that would be a lie. No, I save them for times when I want to feel overly sexual and attractive to my partner. Times when I want to feel a little more aroused... Times when I want my sexual prowess to shine a bit brighter.

I have an arsenal of products and methods I trust to 'enlighten' my libido. I suppose I could share them with you in lieu of a review. I would like to say that results and/or opinions differ per person since true aphrodisiacs work in conjunction with your own natural pheromones... And yes, like DNA structure, everyone's different.

So, umm, no matter how conventional the item... Please.. uhhh.. Enjoy?

HA.

Aphrodisiacs range in price anywhere from $5.99 to &199.99; and yes people do pay that amount apparently (god help them). I can't attest to the fact of the old adage "you get what you pay for" because I refuse to spend that much on getting me (or anybody else) in the mood.

Hell you can get a steak and lobster dinner and a night at the hotel complete with room service for about that price. Sure, it's the Motel 6 and breakfast is continental... BUT STILL... There's a coffee maker in the room, right?

But I digress, over the years I have dabbled a bit in different types and well, methods of opposite sex attractant... I have tried and trues that work for me so I thought I'd post them. Although some of these would be for your own enjoyment (and to smack that maudlin libido upside the ass). Others are attractants and enhancers for couples:

1. Crazy Girl pheromone shimmer lotion- This is scented. The only thing I can compare it to scent-wise would be the Victoria Secrets love spell lotion, so if you want to smell before you purchase to be sure it's not too strong or the scent (for you) is awful.. That would be to go to VS and sniff it.

At first it might bite your nose for a second, but it fades quickly into an almost oblivious scent (you can only smell it close up to the skin after about 30 minutes).
This lotion has a shimmer, not really a glitter... Don't let it fool you...

I get a LOT of compliments on this lotion... From women and men. It rocks.

2. Eating the strangest things - Edible.com. Any item on the aphrodisiac section has been tested THANKS SHAWN. They work. a lot.
After ordering your pearl lollipop to get your sex on, grab a scorpion toffee candy for afterwards too.. They're pretty tasty.

3. Flying Fox shower gel - Lush. Holy shit I recommend this product highly.
For those of you that do not like the scented products or the lotions... Or eating bugs...
I shouldn't even be telling you about this product... It's my secret. I'm doing this for you Sass because I think this is the one you want to go for. *tear* so special.

Flying Fox shower gel is the most wonderful concoction ever made. It has honey in it and some other shit.. Oh Jasmine..And umm... Just WOW. It doesn't take much but a small dime size amount and BAM... You're a goddess.

The scent carries with you all day, but its not flowery at all... It's rather clean smelling and feminine. Which is why I think it would rock for you Sass.
Honestly, after enduring a full days wrath of shit, sweat, and tears (thinking of you teaching and climbing)... I could smell my forearm and feel awesome all over again. The bottle is small, so you can carry it easily in a gym bag or carry on...
Blondie I will be bringing this to Vegas for you to try... But walk like 20 feet ahead or behind me at all times or I won't be held responsible for .... *sigh*

Flying Fox can also be added to a Lush bath-bomb to create a most holy-shit-this-is-so-fucking-awesome-my-toes-are-curling type of bath... Add a candle too.
Honestly after talking about this I think I need a shower.

In fact, while you're at Lush.com, shop around (but not you Blondie, I got you taken care of). Their stuff kicks and I swear by everything they sell... I'm a fan and only use their products for my bath/shower times.

4. Kharma Sutra Massage Oil (Pleasure garden) - This stuff should be used with a partner that can rub a mean back. It's not something you can wear that lasts through the day obviously, but it's something that works the aromatic sensory department... And your lovers hands kneading your skin are just addition.
It's not too Greasy.
It's not too sticky.
It doesn't linger.
It doesn't ruin the bedsheets.
If you're looking for a massage oil that doesn't wreak of patchouli and compliments the atmosphere, this is the one.

5. Aphrodite's Brew - They serve this stuff at my secret place... It's amazing and powerful stuff thanks in part to the Kava Kava in it. I decided that the cinnamon and vanilla compliment of the brew makes the bitterness not so bad. BUT, of course it depends on how steep you like it.

Normally Im not a tea person (please hold tea-bagging jokes for a moment). But this tea passes the test on soothing and abundantly necessary when I need some stimuli.

6. Chinese food. Am I the ONLY person that get's horny when I have Chinese? Seriously evil those Chinese people are for their food...


7. Chocolate - Yep ladies I said it. And you know that twinge we get when we're PMSing where we crave sweet salty?
Sweet, salty. Sweet, salty.
Yeah, Im not talking about those times.

Proper chocolate administration is key when it comes to libido enhancement. No I'm not talking about stomach, nipple, thigh (which one do I pick)? I'm talking about consumptive timing.

I'm fairly certain you're aware that its a stimulant, it doesn't cause acne, and by itself in proper consumption ratio it's not fattening either...
But did you know that if you have one little hershey's bar before it date it can swing it to the positive? Maybe not in epic proportions, but it releases mesolimbic dopamine in the pleasure centers of the brain. This same area is 'triggered' during orgasm.
Nuff said.
If you'd like to know more about mesolimbic dopamine and how it pertains to orgasm, here's some light reading for you. And yes, I read this shit.

8. Saffron - In rice normally, but there's been times I've treated myself to a Saffron candle that can only be found in a small cubby shop at "the market". Really it's expensive to buy and even harder to justify eating/burning.

9. Alcohol - duh. no wait. duh. My favorite? hmmm. Baileys shots, with an ice chaser. Normally it only takes me one or two drinks to suffice my sex drive, and then it's all over. There is no secret liquor or drink I can entertain you with... And I hear it's all in the way you drink it.
I like it creamy and slow... Is that a bad thing?

10. Otis Redding, Nina Simone, and Billie Holiday - Flip on the Otis and I'm yours like a 50% of sale on the day after Christmas folks. Jazz/Blues is never a turn off people. Slow sweet and smooth... Especially when you have the vinyl copy and can experience the 'pops' of the needle. suh-weet!

How'd I do? Can I go have sex now?

Q&A #1: Equation

Dear Everything Nice,

is it bad - if you were drunk and called your wife Emma, and that's not her name?

Sincerely,

Oops.


Dear Oops,

Well yeah, that is bad.
Unless I'm between her legs... and then it's alright.
Is your wife hot? Let me know... I can be there next weekend.

Warmest Regards,
Em

24 hours to the power of 2

I can't wait for the play offs today. Wanted to get that off my chest.

Yesterday (Saturday) which actually still feels like today... was way busy. There was so much to do and so many people to care for (other than myself). I felt drained and could not tap my creativity to finish my work load worth a shit.

sucked.

So last night after I arrived home I gave a quick shout out to some folks to check in... though I felt kinda like I got a blow off here and there. SO you think to yourself. Okay then, that's the price I pay for trying blah blah blah.

And then you up your ante because you feel cracked and fair weathered. k.

Around 7pm I decided to re-haul Em. I grabbed my finest most expensive products and took a bath (k, @ 9.95 a pop for a one shot bubble bath), cleaned up the shaving, plucking, primping... so girly. Washed, nurished and polished up my hair. Then I did the unthinkable and slathered myself in pheremone lotion (Yes Sass, I just did... and it was dangerous). Pulled out the best of the best of my darkest clothes... my boots... my car keys....

and headed off into the night.

My attempt was to grasp at some inspiration, to feel a bit like I belonged (in a world that lately I felt has pushed me outside a bit). I couldn't remember the person I was a few months ago... That girl that made every attempt to keep the crowd like her close and personal. The educated horn-dog freak that I am/was.
Lately my social calendar had been encumbered by other things that well, sure I felt were more important... but proved only to be one of those obsessions that doesn't give back.

I need some give back.
And now that I was 150%, looking my best... feeling on top of the torrid Saturn-like ring that is my hampered sexual aura... I drove downtown... to remember.

I did not sleep last night. no. I didn't.
I took my powerless damaged ego and amped it up to an extreme I'd hadnt felt since the summer time.

Strange what an old place, scent, face, song can do...

I feel compelled to tell you about my evening right here and right now. But I can't because I'm back off to the hospital... and then home for the playoffs.

But today (though a bit tired), I am not the meek... I am the powerful.

I am Everything Nice.
And I'm glad to say that...

Damn it's great to be back.

How cool is this?

Had to post it... Totally fuckin' cool. And eerily correct (okay that was me being narcissistic).
I did one for you too SnS...


Okay, that turns me on A LOT. Alright dammit.. We're having drinks tonight. Oh, and Sug and Spice... thanks for last night honey :)

Alright, have a good weekend y'all and well...

FOOTBALL!!!!

I may remove this....

There are times when we blog for pleasure, times when we blog for pain, education maybe... Entertainment. A lot vent and question the world and it's motives...

But there are times when you need to be honest and upfront. Deceit paints an ugly picture on beautiful things at times. I had a great, and well at time emotional conversation with a good friend this afternoon because well... My day had been challenging. I said something to her that I'm going to say to all of you... And then I'm going to practice it as well.
Thus, proving that I am NOT a hypocrite :)

"To have some body truly care, respect, look out for you... You have to be honest about who you are 100% and present every piece of that first and foremost... just present yourself. That way you filter out the trustworthy and loyal.. you know they accept you fully. And well because that way they know how to support you, and help you/give you with what you need the most... Because when you do that, you'll find that those people will be your allies, your friends, your ultimate support group- the people you want with you to endure life challenges with... Because they got your back."

*ahem*
So many of you delve into your childhood, your history... Your families and the way they work.. Your health issues (no matter how frightening on your blogs). Notice I don't? Notice I don't wear my life on my blog sleeve? lol.

I know, I know... I do and I don't. Sure you know I'm a happily married mother of two fantastic boys, I'm a sex maniac, I'm bi-sexual, and sometimes I get sick. I write self-help articles and write short story erotica... Cool. That's Everything Nice, right?

But Emma... What's really going on? Alright I'll play- tonight I feel like taking a slice of Emma out and just presenting it up front and honestly. Those of you in my chain of allies will appreciate this stepping out... My deep thinker crowd will applaud me I'm sure.
Others will scan this post and see nothing... *shrug*

**I do battle with hypersexuality, every day. Some days I'm cool, others... Not so good. It reflects in my blog posts all the time, I've never just came out and admitted it. That doesn't mean you have to be afraid of me.

**I was never supposed to be here... I'm a medical freak of nature. My grandmother took a drug to prevent pre-clampsia in order to carry my mother full term. In term this fucked up my mothers ability to have children. Her and my father tried for years, they gave up hope completely after miscarrying two before me (one that almost killed my mother). They did surgery to correct the issue and were told no children for lack of 'equipment'... But there I was. She amazed all of her doctors... She calls me her miracle.

**Because of this, and the fact that my genetics dictate I should also be screwed... I was born and am afflicted with a rare disorder called Addison's Disease. As well I have two bunk kidneys that didn't appreciate me 'carrying' two children... And a body that wants to reject itself constantly. Three years ago after the birth of my second son... I was given a short life expectancy without a donor. I do dialysis when I need it.
I have a hard time finding a donor because of my blood-type.
The only match I've found so far was offered by Castu... I cry to know that there's somebody out their willing to assist me when ready. Thanks Castu... for now donate blood as much as possible if you can... Even if it doesn't assist me, it assists many just like me. If I do make that call LOL.. you better not have drank a glass of wine the night before surgery LOL... oh man. I did get your email, and I will reply.

Because of the short life expectancy I believe that I should live life with no regrets. So I do, hence my sexuality as it contrasts to my 'normal' life. I want to experience pleasure and hapiness... not blatent disregard of my life and not taking care of it. I do want to live as long as possible of course. But if I want to have sex and go fishing... yeah, I'm doing it.

**Three years ago when I had my son the anesthesiologist fucked up the epidural and tapped my spinal chord instead. I was paralyzed for three weeks... As you can imagine there was some rehab... I never got right after that. But the pain was emotional as well as physical...with a new born baby that I couldn't breast feed, couldn't touch. Took me two months to try and get my milk back... Any body who has ever had to do this knows that it's more painful than childbirth (and flinched when they read 'get my milk back').
Ultimately I cried when my baby cried... Because being paralyzed dictates that well... You can't hold them to comfort them.

**My youngest is three and he is Don Juan. My oldest is a 'tween'. He is intellegent beyond belief. It's been a struggle to keep him motivated at school because he is ahead of the honors class at this point. To add to that; no longer the boy, he now has shifted into a more well, male facade. I can expound on that another time... but basically when I talk to him now.. "It's yeah, and?" Instead of "Okay mom... no problemo".
Amazing how the respect changes as they get older and hit puberty... the meter just kinda plummets to the negative, doesn't it? JOY.

**If you have a young child, hold them tighter... hug them more. When they grow up it's a bitch... I need a fucking support group JUST for this.

**My father is a Vietnam vet with PST. He spent a good portion of my childhood being conveniently unavailable. My mother, who left the beauty-queen/Las Vegas show girl life to settle down with my father, was a good natured person who became a very good enabler to my father and a wall for me. My mother is my special, I love my mother.

It's difficult to see the pictures of her dancing with Gene Kelly and Dean Martin adorn her wall, and know that she gave all that up for my father.

**Her and my father were not close. They didn't ever sleep together-EVER. And I mean literally... He slept on the couch people. He did't respect her, covet her, compliment her, love her... Show affection for her. Ever. He asked her to get him coffee... that's about the extent of it.

**Ditto for his attention towards me.

**I lost my virginity at 15. Had my first bi-sexual experience at seventeen. The first time my heart was ever broken was by a girl.

**I am divorced and remarried, but maintain a healthy friendship with my ex. He reads this blog... So everybody play nice and say HI.

**The absence of my father allowed me to have a very close relationship with my grandparents. It was not uncommon for me to be there for long spurts of time. Some of my warmest most comforting memories of my childhood are with my grandparents. And as I grew I continued to keep them close in my life - always - as a second pair of parents.
My grandfather died just this last August.

** My grandparents had been married 68 years. They married at 16. She was a teacher for a brief stint, only to become a great home maker later. She bore three beautiful children. Two boys, one girl. My grandmother was the den mother, cookie baker, volunteer in your classroom type... My grandfather brought home the bacon, scrimped and saved, hid money in his coat pocket always. Worked his way to the top of the ladder in the telecommunications business... His name was well known. He was a complete success and my grandmother never needed anything. Nothing. She had him.. And in turn he had her for meals and laundry; happy kids. See how that works ladies? Ha.

**They had a great family and a love for one another that you only read in Shakespeare (well, before the expected Shakespearean tragedy anyway)!

So you can only imagine what I'll say next....

No, not yet.

**I have an IQ of 167. I do belong to Mensa. I play stupid most of the time because it protects me... Thats a habit I will never change. For all the people who think I'm utterly clueless... surprise!

**I never went to college, but I was a reference book-worm.. and only on topics that intrigued me. Okay so I shifted mostly to sex.. and the phsycology of it. I studied kharma sutra and tantric sex... BDSM and fetishes. I know more about sex than anything... It's frightening.

**I make a salary higher than many college grads... and that pisses me off because apparently my family still hates me for not going to college. It's mentioned all the time. Although I feel the need to expand my mind and better myself... I am just as successful right now in many other things like raising my boys, dealing with my health, and writing.

**I once wrote an action novel. I never submitted it for publishing... it sits and waits to be printed and sent but I can't do it. I have a fear that it will get rejected. Even though I can write about sexual produce and not be concerned at all.

**I share well. It goes hand in hand in my marriage. I never get jealous, over bearing, or evil- It's when you go behind my back or sneak that I rage. I would have been the perfect girlfriend who always had the friend that you uhhh.. really hoped they would..... yeah, that would have been me. I always shared my toys.... my sex life and relationships are no exception.

**Thanks to my mother and her stunning beauty, my fathers charm and charisma... And the problematic IQ combined with physical ailments and the eclectic sexual disorders....
You got me. I'm a fucked up mess, aren't I? HA.

But that was my inventory.
And if you took the time to read the whole thing then you are definitely somebody I want to be my support group. I value your friendship. I know you read it more than for just the smut if you've hung and understood on every one of the above instead of skimming it.
I commend you.
You have my heart.

My grandparents loved and relied on each other so much. They say that when two people are soul-mates, one cannot exist without the other. How appropriate should it be that now my grandfather has been gone only a short time... That my grandmother should now be going as well?

Very fitting.
That's right T.. Right after we hung up and I felt all shiny happy? My mom called... How very roller-coasterish and shitty is that? Dude, what a fucking come down.

She's not gone yet. But... Well... I mean, how hard will it be to keep the warmth of those happy childhood memories (and there are so few) alive when the last piece of it is no longer there to re-live the full picture?

I think that well.. As an end to this entry I really for once don't know what to say. Typically I might end it with some shitty comment. I don't have one of those tonight....

Tell you what? You finish it for me...

Happy HNT, Right?

Shit I got a full plate people... Here's my task list:

1. Sex. Lots of sex. - I actually tried to just masturbate once today... My pussy twitched for like an hour after that. Yeah, she was fairly pissed. So I'm making it up to her tonight.

2. Articles - This is a must do. Preferably once I can concentrate.

3. Football - As if you thought I wasn't still enjoying this football season.. AS IF.

4. Funeral for a friend that passed away on Sunday. Hugs go out to my closest circle, you know who you are... I'll see you there.

5. Q & A - I have a few questions and answers I really, really need to address on here.

6. Email - very important. Still haven't done it. Apologies to those who think I forgot about them.

7. Enjoying your blogs - hee hee

8. Sex again. I think that's important.

9. Bondage and Discipline piece- *whip crack*

10. Life- self explanatory

If I disappear for a day or so, or only pop a picture up... Have no fear; I'm not going anywhere. I just have a lot of shit to do. If ever I were to walk away, believe me you'd know it. In my absence Sugar N Spice may pick up the slack, I'm not sure... Her work schedule is just as heavy as mine, since well, we write for a lot of the same venues...
we'll just have to see what happens :) Right.

MOVING ON

......................

I think I shocked some of you with my admission yesterday. Well, I guess it needed to be said really. It was my deepest secret, and now it isn't... Oh well. Ultimately I'm sure none of you were surprised.

How many times have you used that term lightheartedly not realizing that it does really afflict people... Normal people? Furthermore how do you understand and deal with it on a clinical serious level? Right.

Some of you did your research after my post, many asked questions. I liked that... It made me feel like you totally cared about my in's and out's... And wanted to understand it from a different perspective. I appreciate that, thanks guys and gals. Though one or two of you noticed the bi-polar connection and immediately (and quite cautiously) asked if I was bi-polar.

No folks, I'm not bi-polar... Hence the non-medication of my condition. Weird that it should be a condition; even more so one that is difficult to deal with. I'm open to those of you that want to talk about since well, I put it out there anyway. *guffaw*

Right.
.................

MOVING ON.

I promised Helskel a skirt shot or two. And I'm keeping my promise... Couldn't decide which you'd like more so I'm posting them both (one is above)... In a I'm making it up to you sort of way. So Helskel baby, here ya go... Happy HNT people.


If you want to learn more about HNT, click on the rolling box and talk to my big sweet HNT daddy, Osbasso!

Strangelove entrenched

I am a sexual receptor today people. No joke.

My arousal 'feelers' are up 100%... Should be a challenging day for me. I knew it would be the minute I woke up; nipples on hard, well lubricated, for no apparent reason other than it's time for me to get fucked; and fucked good.

Hi, My name is Emma... And I'm a nymphomaniac...

It all started some years ago after stifling my sexuality in my first marriage and realizing that there was something in my life just... Missing. So during the divorce I sought counseling to reconcile the fullness of my life path and picture that I had never had.

Anybody that has gone to therapy knows that we usually pay way too much to hear things about ourselves we already knew, but sometimes and inkling of surprise into a psyche can be found.

I found it. It was a sex drive, and it was fierce as fuck.

On top of that it was discovered that I have OCD. Yes people, OCD. Can't help that, but damn I was glad to know why I walk the house every morning about 20 times making sure I hadn't forgotten anything.... yep, and dammit my house is clean as hell, just the way I like it.

I was never medicated for any of the prognosis, instead I was told to work on my issues through free writing and well, nocturnal exercise with a partner that can keep up with me.

queue hub.

So clinically diagnosed as an OCD nyphomaniac I began to take my frustrations and emerge from my shell of compulsive and sexual suppression through the years...
My date at the time (which is now my husband) is a Scorpio, well known for their sexual prowess... I am a Taurus. Needless to say it was a good pair up, and has been ever since. We thrive off of each others sexuality like a sponge and water.
Though since my OCD effects the way I perform, I like perfection when I delve into passion always... regardless of the partner.
I am a top performer.
I am a pleasure perfectionist.
I want you to feel good and enjoy the ultimate state of arousal even more so than myself.
I get off when you get off....

Forget about the half ass attempts people, I want it good and I want it 'now' when I want it. I get persistent, pissy, and ultimately downright needy. It's a curse that I deal with to this present day.

K, so... Come back to present day with me...

Today, I want it especially bad. No really, no holds barred. I've had a three day dry spell and really I think that's long enough. I have had the pleasure of me, which can delay my reactionary sexual tactics for a little while...

There'll be times,
when my crimes,
will seem almost unforgivable

I give in,
to sin,
because you have to make this life livable.

But when you think I've had enough
from the sea of love,
I'll take more that another river-full,
Yes and I'll make it all worth while....
I'll make your heart smile.

But I yearn for the brush of skin, the sensation of fullness inside of me, soft lips meeting with mine only to part and meet with a moist tongue.... The smell of sex, the ache of grippage, the all enticing body that lays before me and says 'come hither'.

I get motivated.

I want it people, I want it bad. So bad I'm all about taking it today. Ultimately I believe nothing will stop me... Like a bull snorting wildly at the red flag...

There'll be days,
when I stray
I'm the epitome
constantly out of reach.

I give in,
to sin
because I like to practice what I preach.

I'm not trying to say
I have it all my way
I'm always willing to learn
If you've got something to teach

Oh and I'll make it all worthwhile....
I'll make your heart smile.

These are the days when you steer clear of me... In my raging nymphomanitic state... Because I'm gonna take it from you. I'm going to make you give it to me without you even knowing you're being worked.

I'll flirt and pile on the charisma until I've entranced you to get closer. I will touch you, kiss you, undress you... Lead you to a forum only we can share. I'll take it hard, soft, upside down, inside out... Anyway you wanna give it to me... Even painfully.

Pain, will you return it... I'll say it again, pain. Will you give it to me?

Don't say I didn't warn you.

--- This has been a public service announcement, care of Everything Nice ---

Unique Mental Textiles

Randomly generated thoughts and miscellaneous odds and ends at your disposal, courtesy of Everything Nice:

Oh please don't be cute tonight, mommy has to write
I can't write about bondage and discipline tonight because my family was way too dysfunctional in a good sort of way. My youngest had his charisma hat on and proceeded to dazzle me with his highly-skilled flirting abilities; batting eyelashes and blowing kisses over alfredo... While the eldest talked about Cro-Magnon eating contests with my husband, and at times it got dicey for me at the dinner table. I'm positive it wasn't me.. but..

At times it was a strange oedipurean moment... and I felt queasy. Seriously gave me the creeps. My youngest is either in love with me... or he's gay people. Not that there's anything wrong with that mind you.

That said, even the inkling of mono-gloves and velvet whips can't shake this "I just sang the Dora the Explorer song and played race cars" groove I got going. And besides... no way in hell I can flip flop that easy people... I'm still one hell of a mother too.

That would be like a Disney movie with a soundtrack by Nine Inch Nails. Interesting concept... but uh-uh, not doing Donald Duck with a paddle.

Chew it Sweetheart
You noticed there's a new girl in town. My hearts all a flutter people, seriously. I'd like to introduce you to “C” or as you know her now Sugar N Spice, my new blog mate. She's been playing in the closet for about a week, taking in the scenery. Last night I hooked her up as a member, since really... She is worthy of a slice of the Em-pie...er. EMPIRE! HA!

Anyway, I'm hoping that her first post here will be a little bio, and perhaps a little intro... and then for me after more champagne a little intro.
And then I'll let her intro... We'll be intro-ing... in. out. in. out.

Please make her feel welcome if you hadn’t had the chance yet. After numerous lengthy conversations of what we feel we want to accomplish with this blog *snicker* it's apparent she has some good things in store.

Side tracked momentarily: Would you pay $400 just to sleep with some one? I’m really tossed up on this one…

Side tracked in a completely different direction: I have emails to write... holy shit... Oh, and I was tagged too! K, I need a post-it note *pulling from fore head*

Bringing Home Flowers
Admittantly, I took my produce story back at my meeting today... Somebody got quite descriptive today about the way a cauliflower feels against a clitoris and I felt compelled.

Shut up fuckers... think about it. SO, yeah... I'll be hanging in the produce section this weekend. Alright, I'm NOT riding a cucumber... no way people. I have my limits. If any of ya’ll have experience you could toss (get it, toss?) my way, I’d surely appreciate it :)


No cleavage in Vegas?
A lot of you are going to be disappointed when you read this, and that's okay because I need you to face a harsh and bitter reality. As you know Blondie and I will be meeting in Vegas soon, it is not on our agenda to sleep together. And though we've poked and prodded each other on the blog, and perhaps flirted… a little; we insist that we're friends. Yup, that's said.

Our intention is not to get in each others panties that weekend... it's about wearing matching ones and strutting around Vegas like a we own the place. Not in the panties only, well, maybe...k no... k well... no.
Alright god damnit it's anybody's guess about the panties, I'll probably lose mine anyway.
We’re gonna shop, and drink, and talk, and do girl things… nuff said. But I’m still packing the bubble bath.

Keep on truckin' (and I'm not screaming that either).
My husband bought himself a new truck today. Good, he needed it... I'm proud of him. But he's doing the I have a V8 and a tow hitch dance... Then you add the testosterone rush of writing a check for it with no financing bull shit.... And before you know it he's like the cock of the walk and I'm sure is gonna try for some anal sex tonight.


Would it shock his manly ego to deny him? At the peak of his carnal manliness? HA! That would completely fuck him up for sure.... Ahhh, the power of a woman, eh girls?

K, I won't deny him... but I'll tease like a saucy bitch.


How bi-polar of me: Do I need to get laid tonight? No, not really..... yes, you do.... no i dont.... yes you do... no really, i dont.. yes... no... k... maybe.... alright i do.


See, now THIS is what Im talking about.
I want to buy a hobble skirt and take a pic in theme with the whole BDSM thing we're working and write it off as a business expense. But I can't because blogging isn't business... Perhaps I could use it for a product review.... HMMMM.
*que light bulb*
Only, the things $110.00, hardly worth justifying that to my editor... and I can't wear it to work. Damn my workplace for not endorsing co-worker flogging... that chaps my ass.

I hope that Tuesday brings you things only you should wish to have. And whatever those things are... ummm, perhaps you should share.

Munches and Trust Issues

Looking at the clock I could see it was 8:15. Time to run off to the munch that (thanks to impeccable timing and luck) was scheduled for 9pm on the other side of town.

What is a munch you ask? Easy question, easy answer. It's a gathering of people interested in and currently practicing Bondage and Discipline. These rules also apply to BDSM (for those of you not familiar; BD and BDSM are rather different). Yeah, so I was excited to not only attend a little suare' with my fellow bondage kings and queens-- but to gather some fresh opinions and education for this subject. GO ME!

I grabbed my black lipstick, high heeled razor sharp stiletto boots and tore my fishnets. Click-click-click I went out to my car as I tucked my cat o' nine tails in my bag... Off to an evening of BD fun I went, humming along the way.... Once I arrived at the meeting spot the walls were draped in black leather and every one stood in their garb....

Okay people no. No, no... Wait!

Actually a munch occurs at a restaurant or popular public place where we can hang out --- talk and share feelings and a common respect for this lifestyle, sure there is food involved... And drinks if we're lucky. No body wears leather (unless it's a jacket), and hardly any one there owns black lipstick!

So say like... Denny's on crack for the evening. LOL.

Some munch chapters make it a multi-day event; which includes a location other than public for a product display and a play-time. Others just do a one night meeting and then plan on a future date for a play-time... My chapter had their playdate last night apparently and I'm not going to say whether I attended or not, I'm sure you all will be able to figure it out for yourselves.

I'll be goddamned if the bruise on my wrist will never go away... *sigh*


For more in-depth information on what a munch is, I will refer you to one of the sites I write for :)... Hopefully you will find this link useful to your munch knowledge.

To learn more about what your chapter munch is structured like or may be up to... Find some information here.

I spent a good three hours chatting and reinventing different Bondage and Discipline scenarios with my food friends; there were atleast 11 people there (6 girls, 5 guys. Three of those being couples). I inquired whether they would assist me on this little nugget of knowledge for you wonderful, curious, learn-ed people... And of course they said "sure, try this gag-ball on for size and we'll do some demonstration!"

and then they asked me if I had gotten to the safe word yet. uh, yeah.... DUH.

I racked my brain on where to begin; mostly because there's so much to cover in as it pertains to bondage and discipline! Of course brain racking is no good and stifles your creative abilities to write freely, though racking your body allows a reminder of where to start. Let's begin by refreshing our journey so far, shall we?
Yes we should, and please call me master when you address me... Or I'll show you what a pain and pleasure clash feels like.... K?

D/s - Domination and Submission. If you're going to do BDSM, you must choose a role. Some of you know what role you are, some of you don't. A lot of you will flip-flop once you get there... No matter, it's all the same in the end.. (see the pun?)
And once you've arrived at your top or bottom role it all kinda comes together nicely.

Safe word - You are going to need one, and this should be discussed before doing anything that pertains to any constriction or stifling. As noted before, you should pick a word that stands out from your role playing so that it is not confused with the fun at hand...

Make it obvious and clear for your partner to hear and know that you want to abort the activities at hand. A safe word can be the one thing that secures your pleasure and comfort zone....Sometimes even save your life. Mine is 'Key', though some BDSMers use colors (like stoplights 'yellow' to slow down or yield a bit; 'red' to stop completely). Before you begin anything share your safe word with your partner and make certain they have one too.

If you're gagged make sure you have an alternate way to tell your lover that you are wanting to stop the madness- like a pattern of grunts, a hand gesture, or holding an item and dropping it to the floor...

Munch - See above :)

Alrighty then, the last thing you should know... The creme' de la creme' of pre-bondage?

Your partner.
Trust your partner, Respect your partner, obey your partner.

I cant emphasize this point enough! If anything you should know before we travel deeper into my closet and capture the essence of BDSM, this is it.

Really, you can't practice bondage and discipline without someone you can trust.. And when I say trust... I mean TRUST.

Perhaps this is why there are munches to be had, because really you have to know and believe that the person tying you down and/or stifling you respects you enough to take care of you at the same time.
Because you are compromised when submitting to the ties and binds, left without any protection should anything happen to the surrounding atmosphere like an interruption of flow, or a fire-- fire happening is bad... So monitor your candles well! lol.

--If you're putting yourself in the hands of your partner (as a sub) it is crucial that you trust this person to take care of you, respect your limits, be receptive to your safe word, and ultimately be on the same page as far as what you both want from the experience.

--If you're putting yourself in the hands of your partner (as a dom) then its just as important to respect and care for your sub as any mis-appropriation can lead to a bad experience and the loss of a good trusting submissive partner. Sure, you can still get yours if you have no respect for your sub... But word travels fast in the BDSM world.
Should you deem yourself 'untrustable', not only will you lose your submissive partner in that exchange, but any other partner that you may want to 'lie' with in the future. Don't ever EVER step outside the lines of your commitment with your lover when you practice BDSM... You will unintentionally destroy yourself. And no 'moment' is worth losing a friend or a lovers comfort zone and trust as it pertains to your enjoyment.

It is always best to know your partner well. Yes, well. Because this person could be your sexual beneficiary (and vice-versa) many times going forward if all is done correctly, comfortably, and with confidence.
So let's cover some basis before we begin, shall we? Ask yourself these questions ( I did so in italics):

1. So... Get in touch a bit with what role you feel you are... Dominant? Submissive?
Hmmm, I submit mostly... But damn I can be a good Dom too.

2. Does every one have their safe word?
Yep, mine's 'Key', hand gesture is finger crossing....

3. How about your trusted partner?
Of course, I have known mine for 8 years... He would never let me be harmed.

4. Have you discussed what you want out of your BD experience?
Every experience dictates something different and we always discuss this before hand.

If all the answers are yes for you... Then you should enjoy the next two posts immensely.
If you are married or otherwise committed (be it with a woman or man), feel free to sit with your partner and read these together... It would benefit you both and strengthen the bond and comfort level of traveling down this awkward and exciting sexual road.

Wearing my golden ticket

See my shirt here? It's a guaranteed golden ticket to everything.

I got this shirt from a friend for Christmas, and so far it's a guaranteed crowd pleaser.

I wear mine with jeans for effect since really it shines when you accessorize correctly; match it with a pony tail and you're tight for the day.

For those of you that can't read what it says over my busting breast-line:

I'll be using these to my advantage.

History dictates that when I stuff myself in this T-shirt good things will come to me. Of course for the guys this is incredibly obvious why it would be a positive experience... So let's direct to the ladies for a minute the power of the almighty t-shirt.

Grocery shopping - guaranteed offer to reach things on the highest shelf from cute stock boys.

Home Improvement Store - Ummm. DUH! Wearing this shirt into any home improvement store is deadly... Especially around the nail gun display or the guys operating those big palate fork-lifts. I think I caused a huge display demolition more than once.

Shopping Mall - boyfriend and husband neck-crane. Add bruises on the arm from the significant other knuckle punching.

Auto Dealership - HA! Enough said.

The person that sent me this shirt was very wise as to the deviousness of the t-shirt since it's crimson writing on a dark gray shirt... It's extremely difficult to read unless you're right up on it.

So, from a distance it's a breast distraction.
Close up however, it's a I'm trying to read what it says on your shirt but yet I don't want you to think I'm looking at you breasts when in actuality I really am distraction. Good job at making sure the guys are taken care of on that one friend, seriously.... could you have made it any more difficult to read? LOL.

Poor men at the check out or help desk will glance, glance again, and then say... "Umm, what does it say on your shirt?" Which gives me ample choices depending on my level of interest in receiving benefits:

A) "Look closer and read it yourself" (guaranteed store discount and free product)
B) "I'll be using these to my advantage" (person laughs, compliments, and again store discount and free product)

Either way... It kicks ass.
I urge all the ladies to buy a snarky, obvious breast show-casing shirt... It does wonders for your ego and your sex life if you're single.

Today I will wear this shirt to run my errands and then during the play-off games... Yes, yes there will be jumping up and down when my team scores! So, again, I'll be using these to my advantage while the house packs tight with play-off hungry people :) *giggle*

The catch is that I need to stuff my errand running in before the game begins at 1pm. Will I make it? Perhaps. And even save some money doing it!

I'll be working on the remaining BDSM articles this afternoon and evening to prep them for Monday publishing. I promise we will continue with our dark and dirty path.... I have not forgotten. As you all know I had a week from hell and needed a re-group. Besides, I'm anxious to tell you about the munch!!!!

Speaking of munch, here's a favorite football snack of ours here... It's not crab dip, but DAMN it disappears quickly around hungry men so I always have to buy enough for three batches!!!

Spicy Shrimp Yum Plate (for lack of better title)

1 5.5 oz can of tiny shrimp
1 8 oz block of Philadelphia Cream Cheese
1 bottle of the spiciest cocktail sauce you can get your hands on.
1 box of Ritz crackers

--place block of cream cheese in the middle of a large dip plate
--pour cocktail sauce over cream cheese block, covering completely
--strain and rinse shrimp then distribute on top of the cream cheese and sauce

You'll need a dip knife to cut into the block until it softens, but normally you don't want people just dipping their crackers into this anyway.. So make sure you have a dip knife!
-- grab a cracker, put dip on top... ENJOY!

Big ol' Jet Airliner

Don't carry me too far aw-ay... ohhhh big ol' jet airliner- Cause it's here that I have to stay *playing air guitar*

Love Steve Miller. Now how many of you will have that song stuck in your head today I wonder? Wow what a strange couple of days it's been, I truly appreciate all of your compliments on my HNT and my glasses yesterday... It was cool to surf the airport wi-fi for the short time that I had "check-in" unfortunately my time was so abrupt and scattered I was not able to comment... When I saw that Mamalicious had trouble today it was a firm reminder to me that there are some really bored, jealous, cruel people out there. It's unfortunate that we lost a good member of our blog circle in this. I'm hoping that she'll stop by every once and awhile atleast.

Jesus, I felt the same when Blondie left.
And the same when Lil left.
And the same when Castu left....

WTF? Dammit! Fuckers ya got me all teary.
Heartfeltedly (not a word, i know) it's a friggin shame, and it's down right unnecessary. I still believe that if people are going to make an afternoon out of ruining somebody.. They should be able to do it full on. No anonymity... It's bullshit... And most likely these are the people that will eventually get theirs. Kharma's a bitch.

I'd wax more philosophical but I've been spiritually high maintenance today.
Yep, had that wonderful 9:30am flight! And then a surprise one at 1:05 to a completely different state then planned! OH people, there's so a story here...

It won't kill my anonymity to tell you where I flew to, because you have no idea where I flew out of... Or maybe you do. And if you do please keep it to yourself, thanks!
My scheduled flight to Oregon took off just fine since it stopped raining for like 15 minutes here (thank god).
BUT, as expected on a tiny ass plane the take off was shitty... The flight was shitty...
I chewed gum and rubbed my forehead the whole time since we never really stopped experiencing turbulence until we landed safely in Portland. Oregon is absolutely beautiful in every way, and the people are friendly, and it wasn't raining. Makes me SO want to move there.

Meetings went well, almost too quick to justify the drama of the plane ride... But you know me, kept my chin up and all that.

I don't talk about what I do professionally much, and yes I have a day job for those that wondered. I do not sit at home eating bon-bons unfortunately... But if any of you want to finance me to do that... I'd love it, thanks!

For those of you who don't understand my job, let me elaborate. I work for a company yes, but not really... Okay KINDA. It's one very important guy... And four of us that support him. Entourage? Totally. Two translators, an accountant, and a right hand man (who is me).
Yes, just like the Don... And his support staff.

So yesterday it was me, my boss, the two translators... And a very small turbo prop jet chartered. Fun.

K so back to the schedule.... Last minute phone call comes in and there's some business to do in Idaho. YES Idaho. So my boss being all excited to have his plane at his disposal decides we need to journey up to the big ID (where potatoes run free and there isn't fuck-all to do). Flight to Idaho? Sucked big balls guys and gals... Bad weather forced us to a low altitude in which I quipped with my co-workers over whether I should look for emergency parachutes. Good thing though, we found a mini bar! Which quickly became our motivation for coping with the twin prop puddle-jumping.

I had a mini Jack Daniels straight... And then felt the burn as we descended and landed. Yep, great time was had by all.

Here's where the story gets fun though... Around 3:30 we're at the airport waiting to head back to whence we came. But no go, the weather in my home state would not allow for us to hop our plane back... Um WHAT?!?!? Holy fuck dude, please let me not be stuck in Idaho for the evening. Either that or it was to fly into my state and then drive 6 hours to my city from the alternate airport.

We waited, stuck, for about an hour. I was nerval. Yes, nerval... Past nervous. I imagined my family at home having a nice warm dinner whilst I did the fast food and hotel route in a state that boasts the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation... K, that's just depressing as hell; just shows that there's absolutely NOTHING to do in Idaho besides fuck. Which I guess is kinda cool... hmmm. Maybe I should rethink my opinion... *shrug*

To make a long story short we were informed at the eleventh hour that there was a nice United twin prop flight leaving for home in 15 minutes. I was focused and made sure we made that flight... Again, worst flight ever. I spent most of my time laughing at the pilot who quipped over the intercom "You may want to meet and make friends with the person next to you..."

So of course I had to make the airplane movie quote "we might not make it through this... And I've never been with a man before..." Which eased the tension of the guy sitting next to me... Poor guy.

Thankfully, I am home now... Safe and sound in my own little play space once again. I feel kinda jet lagged and dis-associated but at least I got to have a little adventure in my work week!

Some bullet points of interest:
-- Two more weeks til Vegas!
-- My new glasses kick ass and are worth every penny.
-- Buzzed dictating sucks when you have to do it quickly.
-- I picked the wrong week to stop taking amphetamines.


Happy Tripple FFF people, seriously... have a drink on me!

I'm on a plane, I can't complain (HNT)

Well, as luck would have it I am to be on a plane at 9:30 tomorrow bound for somewhere non-tropical. No worries cats and tigers, I'll be returning... Couldn't miss an HNT though.

I know, Helskel wanted a skirt shot for the 16th consecutive week!
But believe me honey, I just found out about this flight and well shit I gotta catch it! So I'm posting a photo from my archives instead and will make a solemn DNA pact of some kind with Helskel to keep my promise of a skirt shot next week.

No really, I'm totally doing it. Here, help me figure out which shoes to go with this dress Helskel..... STRESS.

Will think of all ya'll while I'm skipping through the state lines on the little twin-prop nightmare they call a freaking airplane. At least if it had a 7 somewhere in the model number I'd feel more at ease, or at least an A... *sigh*

Believe me I'll ketchup with you on the flipside of my journey and let you know how it went.
If you don't hear from me, assume I'm peanut butter.

In the meantime, I'll continue my deep thinking and mental achievement... but maintain my normal nymphomaniac routine... in case any one's worried about that. Admit you are dammit.

OH! And I got my new glasses today... yep. Paid $378 for em... damn "C" would be proud of me :) LOOK HONEY THEY'RE ANNE KLEIN!!! Dammit you label rat I know your ass is proud of me, if not your mind is. LOL.

K, I really like em and I think they suit my naughty teacher role. What do you think?


If you want to learn more about HNT, click on the rolling box and talk to my big sweet HNT daddy, Osbasso!

A quick dip of certainty

it's been one hell of a day, I tell ya.

It's pissing rain outside for the 18th straight day.
My workload at work was immense.
I need to make some crucial personal decisions.

Tonight I drink wine and take a bath.
Why? Because that's what I'm best at apparently these days. Nope, not feeling sorry for myself in the least... Just re-identifying with some issues.

Wiping the slate clean, taking it back to square one. Nixing the list of 3 and beginning at 1 again. Okay, most won't know what the HELL that means... But go with it, K?

In fact if anything today was a day to gain knowledge and learn lessons. Today was a day to finally see the brazen truths... Today was a day that made me much stronger. I feel awesome but tired. I feel like I need renewal in a way... But I don't.

Christ you know, I feel the need to purge and plunge... But I'm not PMSing so shit... No excuse. In these circumstances I think I usually just DO it without over thinking... If I over think I hesitate. And then I just re-invent goodness and trust into the situation which leaves me vulnerable. Lately people have been up my ass and not in a good way. At first, I thought it was me... But I'm seeing more and more that... No, for once it ISN'T me! And I get justification... That barely ever happens! Wow, talk about a silver lining... For once I feel wonderful about the way I've reacted because it's not me being reactive as much as it's me deflecting.

I have no idea when I'll return to post the next BDSM piece... I want it to be thorough and without gaps. Research? Maybe. There's a munch going on in F-town tomorrow night... Could go I guess. Hmmmm. Thanks Pixie for the invite!

Alright then, I'm soaking. You people keep working on the safe word... While I--- *perk*

Holy shit people, I gotta take this call... It's the nice ass girl!

*happy dance*

Oh, for those that missed it.. I think it goes in theme with the current phone call:

Hot Dungeness Crab Dip Recipe
Serves/Makes: 36 oz
Ready in: <>
Difficulty: 3 (1=easiest :: hardest=5)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ingredients: 4 cups mayonnaise
1 pound Dungeness crab meat
8 ounces thinly sliced onion
1 pound chopped artichoke hearts
8 ounces shredded Parmesan cheese
3 teaspoons minced fresh parsley

Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine and mix the mayonnaise, artichoke hearts, crab meat, parmesan and onions. Portion crab mixture (6 ounces each) into small ovenproof baking dishes. Place the baking dishes into the oven for 5 to 6 minutes, or until the internal temperature reaches 140 degrees.
Arrange about 10 focaccia bread slices on a plate around the crab dip and garnish with diced parsley and lemon slice.

This recipe for Hot Dungeness Crab Dip serves/makes 36 oz.

This dip kicks ass and I recommend Estancia Reserve Chardonnay 1996-1997 if possible.

"Key"

I got my ass stomped for pulling this peice. So fuck it.
I have made corrections... hopefully it is a bit more PC. *shrug*

I was glad to see that many of you read and identified with the D/s topic I touched on. I originally wrote that for those who have asked for clarification on exactly what constitutes these popular sexual roles; domination and submission.

Many times I have fielded questions on whether a specific practice or activity falls under either guideline. Perhaps this is why I posted yesterdays article, because after receiving some feedback and a potential Q & A some time ago on what submission really is; I felt compelled to share that these roles can be utilized in many different ways and appeals.
Also, I think it served to make you all think a bit on how you prefer sexual or relationship positions.
As a side note: having knowledge about these roles and how they pertain in social circumstances other than sex is great for dating.

However, I found that it prompted one or two questions for clarification on what exactly necessitates submission and domination and whether the sub can be the dom.

Can the Sub be the Dom? Clearly, the answer is no.

One question was isn't the sub actually the dominant one? And if they say when to stop then isn't the sub clearly the dom in that circumstance? Alright let's expound that...

You're in bed with your partner, the experience is fast and furious. You've assumed the dominant role by leading her to a position of passion at the hand of your direction. Hence, you come to a point where you can access her more easily for oral or penetration; and thus she's given in to you... Provided a willing and easy path for play and climax. Is she sub? YES.

But then, amidst your kisses and strokes... She says no. Is she still sub? DEPENDS.

A) She would be if you proceeded anyway, and then we'd have the legality of rape to contend with if she persisted that you stop.

B) If she says No... And you stop? Well that would make her dominant. She just controlled you to stop and you submitted by stopping.

(Also a good point via Horsn who wrote "I would amend item B because I think the answer would depend on why you stopped. I believe the person in the dominate position can retain that position even when acquiescing to a subs request.

B) 1) You stop because of fear. Therefore, she's switched because she is controlling you.

B) 2) You stop because you are aware of her feelings and you want to give her a pleasurable experience. (I believe this is where the concept of a safe word comes into play.)"



There are many accounts when a role can certainly be flipped. Either in a public forum via conversation and interaction or in the bedroom being naughty. These can get a bit tricky, so I'm going with 'pure' examples. Here are some:

-- You're in the missionary position, and have initiated foreplay--- up to this point you are clearly the dominant party. She is respondent and willing, but then wants to switch up positions and ride you.

A) You let her happily as you lay back and let her work... Alright, that's a role flip; it would make her dom, you sub.

B) You say sure... Put her up there and as she fucks you, you then commence with controlling her enjoyment by pinching, rubbing, and escalation. That would make you dom.

B2) She's on top of you BUT you're gripping her and fucking her anyway as she just sits on top looking pretty... She's still sub, you're dom.

Is this making sense yet?

It's your third date.. She's been flirting with you and giving you her bedroom eyes all night and you really want to sleep with her. Your charm is exceptional and you're feeling motivated to just take her home since this feeling has amplified all evening. You initiate the journey and get her back to your place... Are you Dom in this situation? Or sub?

Did you want to sleep with her before the date? Prolly. But as much as you do now? Even though you commanded the conversation, paid the tab, and drove her home?

News flash, She's the Dom. No matter how much work you put in to making the evening appropriate, she most likely dissuaded you and lead you to believe she in fact wanted you to take her home... She allowed you to charm her... She initiated and amplified the chemistry... Yeah she totally controlled that situation.

K, One last one for you:
Bondage it is and you and your love are preparing for an evening of straps. Things are going along well and it's time to adhere the restraints. You lay down and tell your partner that you want them to tie you up.... They do. You tell your partner you want them to spank you... They do. You tell your partner to please you... They do... While you're strapped tight to the bed.

Are you the dominant participator of that scenario? Yes. Because you controlled the situation by commanding your quasi-submissive (now dominant) partner to do these things for you.

So I take it we're all a-breast on the ways and means of our social roles then? GOOD. I would love to move onto something completely different. Though I felt getting the above clarification set in stone would be important for the topics I am willing to present to blogger forum, I would be happy to field any other questions on this topic via email if you like.

Ultimately, a good understanding of the D/s will assist in the open-mindedness of the next topic. The first love child of the D/s consummation:

Bondage and Discipline

Before we do go further I also need to introduce you to a very important piece of this chapter of sexuality--- The safe word.

The term 'safe word' was mentioned by the same person that prompted some of the above clarification; which only leads me to think he is aware of the term. I believe a good portion of my readers are, but then the other portion has no clue what a safe word is and how it applies "universally".

It's one thing to read about BDSM, It's another to watch it.
It's completely different to experience it.

There is no way you can possibly fully understand it and accept it until you've been privy to it. It's ups, downs, constraints, pain, degradation... Fright. Yeah, I said fright... Ever been in a vac-bed? That's fucking scary as hell... But can also provide one hell of an orgasm when used correctly.

People that know BDSM from experience, know what their safe word is since it's normally spoken of first thing when preparing to enjoy BDSM with a partner, FIRST thing. And since it's a first thing kinda thing... We should talk about it- first before all else.

A safe word is the very thin line between life and death... Pleasure and enjoyment... Emptiness and fulfillment. When engaging in any Bondage or S & M activity you need to have your safe word ready because you'll need it when you feel things have gone far enough.

By using your safe word you enable the current activity to stop before it gets out of hand, or if you're not enjoying it. One utter of the safe word and all bets are off... It's time to stop and readjust.... Or sometimes... Just breathe without constraint.

Of course there is the unique circumstance where you cannot use your safe word (ball gag, spiked hood, gag... Etc.) in that case, experienced BDSMers use hand gestures... Such as having their fingers crossed. *ahem*

If you begin to feel horrified being wrapped tightly in bondage tape with tape on your eyes and a finger pummeling your clitoris? It's time to use your safe word.

If you're being spanked to the point of blistering and you want them to stop because you no longer benefit from the pleasure? It's time to use your safe word.

When selecting a safe word it's important to not use something like "Stop" or "No", "Don't" or "Finish"; because you'll be saying that anyway if you're practicing BDSM correctly. I've heard some as unique as "croissant" or "kindle"... Or common as "Spot" or "Glass".

Would be best before the next post to decide what your safe word is... You'll need it. OH, silly me.. What's my safe word you ask? Well that's easy... It's...